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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/27800014">Home For Christmas</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/RomanogersSHIP/pseuds/RomanogersSHIP'>RomanogersSHIP</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Marvel Cinematic Universe</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Action, Alternate Universes included, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Avengers Family, Avengers related storyline, CHRISTMAS STORY HAS ARRIVED, Christmas, Christmas Fluff, Christmas Smut, Christmas Special, Civil War kind of happened, Domestic Avengers, Drama, Endgame didn’t happen, F/M, Fluff and Smut, I WILL GO DOWN WITH THIS DAMN SHIP, Natasha Romanov Is Not A Robot, Natasha Romanov Needs a Hug, Past Peggy Carter/Steve Rogers, Peggy Carter is here apparently, Protective Avengers, Protective Steve Rogers, Romance, Slow Burn, Some Characters in the Alternate Universe are OOC, Team Fluff, This story is great asfff, Tony Stark Has A Heart, VERY VERY MINOR NATASHA ROMANOV/BRUCE BANNER, VERY VERY MINOR PEGGY CARTER/STEVE ROGERS, infinity war didn’t happen</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>In-Progress</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-11-30</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-02-06</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-18 08:21:41</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Explicit</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>20</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>48,724</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/27800014</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/RomanogersSHIP/pseuds/RomanogersSHIP</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>During a training exercise gone wrong, Natasha accidentally gets hit by Wanda’s magic that sends her to an alternate universe, one where her husband is married to someone else with no recollection of them having a child. Meanwhile the alternate version of Natasha gets sent to the real world and has to adjust to having a husband and a child. Problem? This happens within weeks before Christmas.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>James "Bucky" Barnes/Wanda Maximoff, Pepper Potts/Tony Stark, Steve Rogers/Natasha Romanov</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>90</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>384</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. Chapter 1</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>As you all know it's Christmas time and I really love these kinds of stories. I have other stories coming out, like 3 or 4, so that's in store for December. It will however cause my other story "Defending James" to not be uploaded as much. I really believe you guys are gonna love this one. ENJOY</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>Natasha enjoyed not having anything to do in the morning. No missions, no emergency meetings, no saving the world from a power hungry adoptive tyrannical brother, or walking/talking microwave with anger issues, not even a deadly virus threatening to be spilled on the grounds of Nigeria.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The days have been slower during this time of month, thankfully. It was the holidays, apparently villains are a lot less evil during the holiday season because it was December. Christmas was approaching, Hanukkah, Kwanzaa, everyone deserves a break. Even violence takes a time off during this time of year. After all, who wants to try and take over the world in 20 degree weather? </span>
</p><p>
  <span>It wouldn’t be a surprise if they get a call requesting their assistance over in California but the West Coast Avengers have been holding it down, only truly calling when it’s vitally needed.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Although her eyes were closed, Steve knew his wife well enough to the point where he knew she wasn’t sleeping. Just relishing them not having much to do today. Crime slows down and their personal life speeds up, catching up on all the things they’ve missed while out saving the world.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>There was a light breeze that hit her because their window had been opened, rolling over and shifting into her husband’s side hearing him give off a light chuckle. They’ve made a compromise that the window could be open because he gets hot at night, but once it opens he’s required to spoon her because obviously she gets a little colder. They had the option to sleep with less or more clothes on, but where’s the fun in that if you can’t feel your partner’s body heat?</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It’s 8am and you’re still pretending to be asleep?” Her husband spoke from her side, Natasha smiling against his chest. It was Tuesday, not much on their agenda except going to headquarters for a round of afternoon training and maybe lunch with the team. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Because it was almost Christmas and also for “mental health” purposes and to “keep the spirit alive” according to Tony, they also had to go over a list of the activities they’d be doing. That included writing letters to Santa, getting pictures with Santa. Going to a local Christmas festival, leaving cookies for Santa and chopping down a Christmas tree. The to-do list sounded a little infantile but that’s because it was mainly for children. Sometimes orphaned kids, less fortunate kids and yes of course, their own kids..They were Avengers but they had their own lives as well.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Natasha sighed peacefully against him, her leg resting on his hips. “Is James up?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Well he hasn’t called out for us yet..I also don’t feel or hear a tiny body snoring in between us so my guess is no. The cookies last night must’ve gotten to him,” Steve yawned, rubbing his eyes free of any tiredness he might’ve been feeling. It wasn’t a day off but they would treat it as such because calm days like these aren’t normal in the line of work they’re in.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Their son’s sugar crash was actually pretty humorous considering he was only 2 years old and ate one and a half chocolate chip cookies, both of small to medium sizes. There had been some melted chocolate and crumbs he had on the side of his mouth because the cookies were still warm and they almost dropped dead at the sight.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Natasha relaxed into her husband’s arms, he placed a couple small kisses to her head in the process. “He’s getting so big. He can stand on his tiptoes now.” Natasha reminisced the moment they first held him in their arms, the first time they saw those big blue eyes, he’s so adorable, her heart warms from just looking at him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Wonder where he gets that from,” He joked, bringing up her ballerina esque movements. Managing to lean down and peck her lips.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Their eyes caught onto one another, Natasha humming calmly and stroked the hair on his chin and towards his jaw, nothing but love being radiated. It was hard to believe her love for him occurred only 7 years ago. She’s known him for 10 and yet it feels like they’ve been in love forever. Being a hero gave her a new goal in the world, being a wife and a mother gave her a new goal in life. She’s gotten extremely close to a group of people she would never imagine meeting or even bothering to speak to if she randomly saw them down the street. She's even married one of them. Years ago she wouldn’t even step in front of a bullet for them..now she’s concerned whenever they complain about having headaches..they’re her family.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>She elegantly slided onto her husband’s lap, quickly kissing him. “We’ve got time.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span> His face is so honest and affectionate, whether they’re on the field or in the bedroom. With their son and without, he’s kind to the point where if they ever had an argument, which they have, but that’s expected in marriage, but whenever they do she ends up feeling bad because he still behaves lovingly.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>His hands were warm as they sat on her hips. “We should probably start getting ready to head out,” Steve suggested, even though he himself had no intentions on getting out of bed yet.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“We will eventually.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>They were lazy on days such as today. Days where their laid back moments of being superheroes didn’t start until 12pm. The only plausible reason for them to dart out of bed is if they receive a signal for them to assemble or if their son woke up and started crying, but even their kid’s morning didn’t really begin until 9am, or whenever they woke him to leave, in which case he’d catch up on more sleep in the car.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Steve brought his wife down to him, being the first to initiate the kiss. It was slow, it was calm. Just a little something to last them throughout the day, a nice minute between them so they won’t sneak away in the middle time that’s dedicated to their team exercise.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Natasha let out a small moan when her husband let his hands roam around her body. She was at her most comfortable around him, every part of her that he touches she wished he’d touch a thousand times over, and he probably has. Throughout them dating and being married, possibly even when they were only teammates, she grasped immediately how much of a romantic and chivalrous man she was dealing with.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He doesn’t half ass anything, including sex. He gives it his all, and they’re in a line of work where they never know if today might be their final day seeing each other so he wants to savor every moment like it’s their last. It can put a grey cloud over their marriage, with both of them risking their lives, but it’s a conversation they’ve had in the past and then again when she was pregnant.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Their positions were switched, Steve towering over her and pulling her hands up by her head to entwine with his own, pressing some of his weight down onto her. His mouth went from her lips and down towards her chest where he left his own marks on him. Natasha loved every bit of it and wanted him to kiss everywhere. Steve exhaled hotly on her neck and pulled his boxers down, the only thing he had been wearing when he woke up, realizing he must’ve stripped down in his sleep last night from the heat because she remembers him having on a shirt and pants.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Her legs wrapped around his waist when he did, bringing his lips back to hers. Anyone could imagine the shock she was in the first time she kissed a man that had been in ice for 100 years and how much of a good kisser he is. Or maybe he was just a good kisser for her because he obliges to what she wants in a kiss instead of what he wants. She wants to feel his tongue against hers, she wants to explore his mouth and remember the taste of him. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Then Natasha feels two thick fingers in between her legs, delicately rubbing and teasing her and not roughly inserting his fingers inside her. Only getting a sense of how wet she was. They mutually broke the kiss as he was about to enter her but kept their lips close to a point where they were only grazing.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Steve gradually entered her, looking at her expression that had been satisfied with the pace, each letting out a small grunt when he sent one final push that led him all the way inside her.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>A long and lazy morning indeed.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sometimes they wonder how it is for their son to see his parents in their suits. To the average agent, superhero, villain and civilian, they’re Captain America and Black Widow but to James they’d simply always be daddy and mommy, honestly in any toddlers eyes they might look like they were just wearing Halloween costumes.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Steve held James in his arms, the little boy was normally energetic and running in front of them within their eyesight, or he was running at their side, tapping their legs and trying to get them to swing him while they walked. But this morning he was a little more calm. It was snowing outside, meaning it was a little more darker and cloudy, he prefers to sleep a lot during these days.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“He’s not even picking his head up to look at the Christmas lights Tony had installed,” Steve noted bouncing his son in his arm for a short second. “Our boy really is tired.” He must’ve pulled the little beanie on his head over his eyes because it was too bright and disturbing his slumber..they would take a picture of that later on.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Natasha ignored little glances and whispers from presumably new agents, or rookies as far as their ranking goes. The one thing she found irrelevant about having agents train at both SHIELD and the new Avengers HQ was that most of them barely cusped the age of 22, meaning they still held that immature fantasy that being an agent can be treated like being in high school or in college where there’s different cliques and that couldn’t be farther from the truth.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Back when she was an agent she didn’t even speak a word to people unless she was on a mission, or talking to Clint and Fury, that’s about it. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Now Natasha’s forced to break up signs of bullying as if she’s a headmaster or a school principal. Steve or one of her other teammates would usually be with her though so she’d normally leave that up to them because they’re better with their words. But when it comes down to a woman who holds most of SHIELD combat records, it gets more physical. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>So no, she doesn’t engage in any conversation with the rookies unless needed, nor does spare the slightest look towards the ones that question the reality of her and Steve’s marriage or why he didn’t marry a normal woman with a stay-at-home agenda.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Steve looked at the Starkpad in his wife’s hands, scrolling through different statistics of the agents that came back from recent missions. “Wow, Agent Garcia’s stats are down bad. I had faith in her.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“She left her phone in pocket trying to retrieve a hostage and the guy lost his life in the process. She’d be lucky if anyone looks her in the eye without bringing it up.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Maybe she could use a few tips from you </span>
  <em>
    <span>Agent Romanoff,</span>
  </em>
  <span>” Steve teased, knowing how she acts and responds to most of the agents running around here. He’s more friendly and she’s...well..not. It makes him love her even more, she doesn’t sugarcoat anything for anyone. Except maybe he and James, she’d express a more sheepish side towards them.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Natasha scoffed, “That’ll be the day.” They approached the elevator, a voice and facial automated system that would take them to a part of the building in which was exclusive to them. It was more of a closed off housing quarters. It took up a whole other side of the building and really brought into the question as to why Tony just didn’t make the buildings separate instead of having to take a 5 minute elevator ride every time.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>She smiled when their son picked his head up, when he heard a familiar robotic voice greet them, saying their names in the process. It gave him the signal that they were near the elevator which caused him to perk his head up finally. Saying a small, “I push mommy,” He told her for permission, pointing to a button. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah, go for it.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Steve brought him closer to what he was trying to reach. James still had an arm around his dad’s shoulder for balance and leverage, holding his finger out until he was able to press it and in return hearing a bright “Ho, Ho, Ho,” followed by the instrumental version of “Jingle Bell Rock”. His little giggle and happy clap was to die for. It was a lot better than what happened in October when James cried after he pressed it because a womanly shriek was heard along with the song “Monster Mash.” Steve fondly kissing the top of their son’s head and motioning for Natasha to get on before he did.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The new HQ was set along the outskirts of New York, but unlike most of the Avengers, they didn’t live here. They took the route Clint had gone down and got a house in the middle of the fields somewhere secluded, but it wasn’t a farmhouse they lived in, but still a quiet residence. A private one that was about a 15 minute drive away from headquarters. Once James was born they figured it was time to try and physically separate themselves from their Avenger family and become their own family. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>One day they really would retire from the superhero business and they want to be satisfied when they do. But there comes a point in time in a life like theirs where risky missions become more scary because they have a kid now, and they’ll eventually have more in the future hopefully. They want to see them grow up, they want to come back home to them. Steve doesn’t want to re-marry someone if Natasha ever gets her life taken too soon and Natasha wouldn’t even want to look in the direction of another man if Steve loses his life in the line of duty.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>But they still enjoy being with the team, they too are still family and always will be. Whenever they make an appearance here or stay for a long period of time, they’re greeted by Wanda, Vision, Sam, Rhodey, Bucky, Bruce and Tony. Clint had retired and Thor splits his time between Asgard and Earth, although he would normally visit on holidays.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The time they’d usually reside at the headquarters is when they’re preparing to go on a co-mission for an extended amount of time, needed to stay and train agents or go over strategies and handle information with the team which usually lasts 2 weeks so they have their own floor dedicated to that. It’s seen as a personal quarters, designed by Tony, each avenger acquires one, the same layout they had back in the tower.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Steve set James down when they stepped out of the elevator, he became a little antsy during the ride up and was scrambling around a lot. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>They were noticed by frantic looking Bucky who came out from a random area and approached them in almost a hurried manner, talking almost a mile a minute.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Buck?-” Steve was cut off while the man kept explaining. Bucky’s rushed tone sent James a nervous feeling and moved more into Natasha’s side where he asked to be picked up. “Wait, Buck hang on a second, explain it slowly.” The only words he was able to detect was power, outburst and rampant, giving them the clue that it was Wanda because she’s the only one with powers. He couldn’t have been talking about the Huk because the floor wasn’t shaking nor was there chaotic roaring.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The man calmed down, formulating a more comprehensive description. “Wanda attempted to practice her control over mind manipulation and ended up passing out in the process but before she went down she surged this looking energy-”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Overcompensated,” Natasha proposed, Steve nodding in agreement.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>This isn’t the first time. This kind of thing happened during their fight with Ultron, Bucky nor Sam were there to witness it so they probably wouldn’t understand what this meant. “It sounds like she failed to calculate the amount of sorcery she’d emit, with the amount of energy she stored. Whatever surged out of her must’ve been unused magic making it unsteady.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Look at me. Does it look like I know what the hell that means? She’s still down, you two need to take a look to see if she’s okay.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>His concern over her was thoughtful. On an unrelated and untimely note, they never understood why Bucky was so reluctant to ask the woman out. Or if he felt insecure and shy because Vision was starting to move in on his “territory”, unbeknownst to Bucky, Wanda found Vision to be more of a guidance in her life. Someone who can show her and distinguish the difference between good and bad. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>They entered a gym-like modeled training area, open spaced and capable of deploying prototypes of all kinds of  enemies. It must’ve been what Wanda had been experiencing. If her powers are able to manipulate robotic hardware then they could avoid another Ultron situation.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“She went down a couple minutes before you two came in. Banner stepped out, Vision’s recharging his battery and Tony is spending time with Morgan and Pepper,” Rhodey explained to them.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Seems like whenever we need them most they’re busy.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Steve put their son’s things to the side. “Nothing we can’t handle.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Natasha carefully set James down and stepped towards Wanda who was currently on her knees with an arm leveraging on a bench. She watched as James tried to go along with her and Steve, turning back to turn and giving him the sign not to move. “Hey, stay back with Uncle Sam.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>James pouted and folded his arms, Sam crouching down in an attempt to lighten his mood while his parents helped their teammate.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Both Steve and Natasha stooped down next to the seemingly resting woman who was vibrating in mortification.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Wanda, are you alright, can you hear me?” Steve asked clearly. But she only exuded a shaky breath.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Natasha cupped the woman’s face in her hands, checking her vital signs by her neck and noticing the increasing glow in her eyes. “She’s conscious. Short of breath but her heart rates balanced.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Not responsive.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>She sent a look towards her husband. “Better to know she’s alive than getting thrown across a room by her magic.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“50/50 chance of that still happening,” he mumbled.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>They watched from the sidelines as the two tried to shake Wanda awake, James getting a little nervous again and wanting to be held by his parents but they were a little busy at the moment.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Everyone was alert when Wanda hummed out a low noise, coming out of her dazed and unresponsive state. Her face was still in Natasha’s hands who tilted her head up a little to get a better look at her eyes that appeared to stop glowing.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You okay?” Natasha spoke lowly. Wanda looked at her with eyes that now stopped its glowing red color and into a more deep and scarlet color.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“S-stand b-back,” she choked back in a whispered voice, making Natasha raise a brow.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Steve caught how Wanda’s hands and chest region started to glow in its red color, showing she was beginning to emit energy. His wife’s eyes went from green to a fiery red and was in a trance much like she was when Wanda gave her the vision of her being back in the Red Room.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Nat..” Steve called out to her, hoping his voice would break whatever spell she was going under, her reflexes were fading, the spell already got to her making her lack any movement. “Natasha!” He got up and attempted to push her out of the way from the beams that splurged violently in her direction, having to tackle her in the process of removing her from harm’s way.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sam covered James while Bucky and Rhodey took cover behind some equipment. Steve towered over his wife to shield her from whatever magic Wanda was giving off, lasting a total of 13 seconds before it went away. Wanda slowly coming back to her regular state with Bucky’s assistance.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Steve looked towards his son to make sure he was alright, the little boy was scared, Sam doing his best to calm him down. He turned back to his wife and looked at her unblinking manner.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>She was looking up, eyes open. The motion coming from her was that red, fire or smoky looking stirring that completely overtook her once green eyes. It’s like she couldn’t even see him, she was breathing but she couldn’t see him. Her mind had to have been scattered elsewhere, being altered by some supernatural force, he doubts she was dreaming this time of round but if she was it would make him even more worried. "Natasha.."</span>
</p><p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. Chapter 2</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>Natasha heard quiet whispers of her name, soft mumbles of others, it sounded like someone had been purposely whispering incoherent words in her ears. Without opening her eyes she knew a light was hitting her face, her breathing was short and ragged. Even if her eyes were possibly closed it didn’t feel as such. Her mind was racing, strikes of rainbow colored vibrant lights whipping past her. An alarm going off inside her and creating this alerted noise that she didn’t know how to turn off or get rid of.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>She hears a faint voice of whom sounded like Steve, the further her mind raced, the further his voice got away no matter how hard she tried to keep with it. It was out of her control. Attempting to wake up but before she does she sees her life pass before her. The Red Room, Clint bringing her to Shield. Meeting Tony, the battle in New York against the Chitauri.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Small visions of each being presented to her it was surreal to even try and comprehend what was happening. Shield being compromised, falling in love with Steve, being in labor with James, all those key moments of her life were out of her reach. It wasn’t until a small portal was opened, one with the face of her husband that seemed to be looking at her concernedly, his mouth was moving but she couldn’t quite make out what he was saying.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Natasha? Natasha, are you okay, can you speak?” His voice was comforting, it was the only thing that made her fight to wake up, breaking past any forcefield that may have been restricting her from becoming the least bit conscious. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Oh man, she’s out cold,” Another voice spoke, it resembled that of Rhodey’s but she couldn’t quite pinpoint it exactly.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Natasha’s mind burst through a cloud of red until she was finally face to face with Steve. Her eyes must’ve been abstract before because a small look of relief and wonder scattered across this mind when she was able to come back to it. She blinked a couple times, having to roll her eyes in the process of trying not to get rid of the subtle pain in her head. “Steve…” She whispered softly.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He helped her sit up, she brought a hand to her head, releasing a small hum of displeasure and minor aching. It was only him in her view but when he moved to the side a bit to see if she sustained any more injuries she caught a glimpse of a brunette dawning red lipstick. She pushed Steve a little bit to the side, making eye contact with the woman who looked equally worried like everyone else.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>No one had been questioning her presence looking at her wide eyed because what the hell was Peggy Carter doing in the middle of their training facility?! </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Can you stand?” Steve asked, assisting her in standing up.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Maybe she was out for awhile and was hallucinating but it felt too realistic. “I’m…fine.” Natasha kept carefully staring at Peggy, when she was on her feet fully she noticed that the woman’s belly was a little swole, looking to be around 5 or 6 months pregnant. Looking at her own appearance, she wasn’t wearing her suit anymore, looking at Steve up and down, he wasn’t wearing his anymore either. Bucky was missing however Wanda still wore an apologetic face, being observed by Bruce who was suddenly here. “Why is she here?” Hang on, </span>
  <em>
    <span>how </span>
  </em>
  <span>is she here?</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Who?” They looked in various directions of the room but Natasha kept her gaze pointed at Peggy who looked at her weirdly.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Her,” She pointed a nod towards Peggy, trying not to come off as crazy but appeared to fail as everyone raised their brows at Natasha instead. Now that she looks around. This isn’t the training quarters she’s used to being in. The paint job was different and it acquired foreign equipment.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>More importantly she looked at her husband who wasn’t as troubled or anxious as she was over Peggy being in the same room and the same era as him. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You got hit with Wanda’s-”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah I know what happened. What is she doing here?” Natasha asked again, feeling Steve slip his hand off her arm, noticing how the ring on his finger wasn’t the same gold color it was before..It was silver. She looked at her own hand, she was wearing a ring but not the wedding ring she was accustomed to, this wasn’t the ring that Steve placed on her finger at the altar.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Steve started to speak, “You’re not making any-“</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He was cut off by Bruce who moved away from Wanda and over to Natasha’s side where the scientist let his hand curl and reside on her waist, a motion in which Natasha was clearly uncomfortable with being that she shifted away and more into Steve’s side.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>It was obvious something was wrong but her instinct was to rely on Steve. The blond’s attention was immediately placed on Peggy when the woman let out a pained sound. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Honey, are you okay?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Natasha thought he was talking to her but his eyes were pointed at Peggy, attempting to go over to her until Natasha held him back by his collar. “What the hell did you just say?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What?” Steve looked confused as ever upon the woman’s aggressive action in pulling his face close to hers. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What are you doing calling her ‘honey’, why’s she even here?” Everyone kept staring uneasily, something definitely wasn’t right but under no circumstances is she allowing her husband to call a woman from his past, one that he loved, “honey”.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Because she’s my wife?” Steve said as if it was the most obvious answer in the world. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Natasha looked him in the eyes, this was Steve. He would never play some joke like this on her. Unless Peggy was Loki in disguise none of this was making any sense to her. “Steve-” He got out of her grasp and unbotheredly went over to the brunette. Natasha’s world or whenever the fuck she was came crumbling down when she watched her husband lean down and kiss the woman, his hand rubbing her swole stomach.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Woah- wait somebody!-“ Sam warned, having to step in on his own accord along with Rhodey to hold Natasha back from lunging at the pair once Steve’s lips were off.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Bruce stepped in again, this time placing a subtle hand on Natasha’s shoulder, one which she shoved off. “жених what’s the matter?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Don’t touch me- wait..” She looked at Bruce wearing a highly worried expression. If he was more concerned than Steve than.. “Did you just call me..” He said fiancée in Russian. The ring, Peggy being here, the different atmosphere. “Where the hell am I?” She questioned. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“This isn’t good,” Wanda stated aloud over everyone’s confusion. Natasha breaking free of Rhodey and Sam’s hold, going over to Steve where she gripped his collar again, pulling him closer.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“No, no Steve please look at me, please.” She turned his head towards him. “I need you to remember me sweetheart. I need you to remember what we have.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Steve raised a brow weirdly, placing his hand on hers and removing it from his shirt slowly. “Natasha are you sure you’re ok?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Are </span>
  <em>
    <span>you</span>
  </em>
  <span> ok?” She repeated with more emphasis. “Steve we’re married. We have a little baby boy, you have to remember that.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He chuckled innocently, bringing her hands back down to her side. “Is that some kind of gag on your part?” Natasha furrowed her brows after he found her desperation to be comical. “You can’t have kids-“</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Natasha sent a hand across his face, almost seething in anger. Not caring about the looks from some of their other teammates. It probably looked a little crazy, here she is claiming that she and Steve are married with a kid when apparently he has a different wife who's pregnant. But that rage of knowing that Steve is her husband in and they have a son together is what fueled her hit on him. She needs her husband. Not this man that openly said she’s incapable of having children.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>For what it’s worth Steve let it go fairly easily. He still maintained his knightly mannerisms and let it the slap go. He did it in such a respectful fashion that she almost felt bad for hitting him as hard as she did but she was extremely overworked with this whole thing .</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Steve put his notice on Bruce. “Maybe we should head to see Dr.Cho-“</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m not going to see anyone.” Steve’s eyes softened at her annoyed and partially relentless demeanor, Natasha thinking she was finally getting through to him, that she was finally waking herself or him up from this sadistic dream. Her hand cupped his chin, forcing him to keep looking at her. “Steve, baby if this is a joke then tell me now. Otherwise I need you to remember and know that you’re my husband. Please?” Her face was placed in the middle of his chest, softly pounding her head against him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Okay..Okay, hey look.” Steve took liberty in wrapping her in a hug, trying to calm her down. Giving Peggy a sympathized look, what else was he supposed to do, push away a distressed teammate?</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Natasha knew his comfort was artificial but she still relished being in his arms because it felt nostalgic. It was what she was used to. She’s cried in his arms before, he’s been able to easily calm her down when she’s angry.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“We need to seek professional help because something’s obviously not right. Can we do that?” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>She removed her head from his chest and caught his gaze, not even his eyes shared the same loving expression, not to her at least. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Natasha found herself having to resist kissing him because her heart would break if he instinctively backed away or didn’t reciprocate the affection. So instead she looked around her, capturing the unfamiliar and still concerned eyes of their teammates, excluding Peggy. Natasha’s heart tightens as she sees that pregnant stomach, knowing that the child in there without a doubt belongs to Steve. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Natasha?” Steve called out to her. Causing her to look at him again, this time almost hopelessly, begging for him to just say it’s all fake. “Can we do that?” He repeated gently.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Her eyes watered, he’s calling her ‘Natasha’ instead of ‘Nat’ or some other term of endearment like she’d constantly swoon over. Nodding nonetheless. Bunching his shirt in his hands for a few seconds, unintentionally looking at the ring on her finger in uninterest because it’s nothing like the ring she was previously wearing.</span>
</p><hr/><p>
  <span>Steve hovered over his wife, kneeling by her side, her head rested on his lap. There’s not much he can do, she’s completely out of it. Her eyes stopped it’s fire like appearance minutes ago, they now laid closed. Steve lightly tapped his wife’s cheek, quietly saying her name.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Buck get Dr.Cho on the line, Sam take James out for a few minutes.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“On it,” Sam crouched down, politely and soothingly asking James if he wants to grab a cup of hot chocolate, the little boy shakingly saying yes after what he just witnessed.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The toddler pointed in the direction of his mom and dad “Mommy?” Turning back to Sam in confusion.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Mommy’s sleepy, she’s taking a nap right now little guy, she’ll wake up soon okay? Come on, we’ll get extra whipped cream.” He picked him up, James watching his mom and dad as he’s taken away, whispering “mommy” again, this time with tearful eyes.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Steve lightly tapped his hand against his wife’s cheek again in an attempt to shake her out of whatever she was locked in. “Please be pretending to sleep again, please.” His mind is going a mile a minute, studying her face thankful that she’s at least breathing normally almost as if she really was asleep. “Nat I need you to be okay.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Oh my god…” Wanda whispered to herself, bringing a hand to her mouth over the state that Natasha was in. She was like an older sister and sometimes even motherly. Wanda already lost her parents and brother, she couldn’t lose the redhead as well. “I did this.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Steve momentarily gave his attention towards Wanda who was putting the blame on herself. “None of this is your fault Wanda, she’s alright, she’s just—I don’t know, out of it,” Steve explained, hoping that it would calm himself down as well. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Her chest was going up and down so he knew she had to have been breathing but he was still checking her vitals to ease his anxiety. Wanting to feel her heartbeat as a sign that she was more than ok.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Buck come on,” Steve urged hurriedly.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m trying! It keeps going to voicemail.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Steve had enough, done with waiting, they needed immediate help. “Alright you know what? We’ll go to her instead.” Steve picked her up bridal style,  it was only until he fully stood up where he heard a small noise emit from her.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Stopping instantly but not dropping her down. Waiting until he saw and felt her move which she did but it was to move her head. “Nat, hey,” he whispered softly, his eyes alleviating all its irritation when he watched her stir awake in what appeared like she was waking up from a bad dream.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“We heard what happened, how’s she doing?” Both Bruce and Vision entered in on the scene formally. Not being loud despite their apprehensions, not knowing what state Natasha was in.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Steve carefully analyzed her face for any blinking, twitches, anything. “I think she’s starting to wake up.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Murmuring lowly, opening her eyes slowly, blinking a couple times to get used to the light. Whimpering annoyedly at the brightness of it and closing her eyes with a small furrow of her brows.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Easy, easy,” Steve told her after witnessing her wince when attempting to sit up. He carefully set her down, making sure she was to stand on her own. He tried not to touch her too much because she tensed when his hand was on her hip, figuring she must’ve injured it and let it hover over the area instead, giving her a chance to let her mind back and shake off any numbness.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Coming back into the area was James and Sam who each held a small cup in their hand. “Hey look who’s up,” The man said, taking his cup and putting him down so he could go run over to his mom like he wanted to.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Mommy’s back!” Wrapping his arms around her legs and looking up at her.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Mommy?” Natasha repeated, unwrapping the boy’s arms from around her, causing almost everyone in the room to be shocked except Vision who didn’t quite determine what was happening.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The action was out of character, “Sweetheart he misses you, you scared him, you scared all of us actually,” He laughed lightheartedly, dipping down for a kiss but Natasha placed a hand on his chest, shoving him away.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What the hell are you-“</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Natasha’s eyes shot at Bucky who became uncomfortable under her intense stare. Pushing past Steve and taking one step towards him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Uh Cap get her, get her!-” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>The woman ended up leaping towards him, having both her legs grapple around his neck and send him down to the ground. She was in her suit, taking a gun from its holster and aiming it directly between his eyes. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Her murderous attempts were cut short as a force field of magic removed the guns from her hand, the entire action stunning everyone including Steve who pulled his wife off of him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What has gotten into you?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Me? He’s a wanted criminal and you’re letting him roam around?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Wanted criminal? Steve and Bucky exchanged glances. “He received a governmental pardon, he’s part of the team you know that.” He reached out to hold her hand, maybe it’s a head injury? Resulting trauma and memory loss. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Stop,” Natasha pulled her hand away, looking at the blond man weirdly. Steve returned the weird expression. The room fell silent, it’s like she doesn’t even remember him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Steve sternly held onto her arm when he found she was being stubborn and not listening to him. “I’ve already got past the cold and secretive version of you, I’m not going through that stage again. We’re married, Natasha, you and me. We have a son together.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I don’t know what you’re talking about. Rogers, we’re not together. We’re not married, we’re not a couple and I’m definitely not the mother of your son-“</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Keep your voice down.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“No I’m not keeping my voice down, stop trying to force this on me and just let me go back to my fiancé. </span>
  <em>
    <span>You’re</span>
  </em>
  <span> married.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“To you..”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“To </span>
  <em>
    <span>Peggy</span>
  </em>
  <span>,” She ‘corrected’, moving away from both him and the little boy again. Steve’s eyes widening at her words.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Everyone watched her intensely, Bruce keeping his guards up in case he was the next one she’d try to shoot. His face incorporated a reddish hue to it when a hand went behind his neck, bringing him in and pressing her lips to his.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>If there was ever a shell-shocking moment it went beyond this. Steve’s body tightened, not knowing what to do or how to react.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Something wasn’t right, he watched Bruce respectfully pull away from the kiss, hoping it was just a misunderstanding but the way she was looking at him and curling a hand through his hair.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“When did you get changed?” She asked him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I-I uh..” He looked around to the rest of their teammates for help. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Steve’s jaw clenched, letting loose of the irritation no matter how tough it was. “You must’ve suffered some kind of injury or side effect of the spell.” He picked their son up who was sad over his mom not providing him with any attention.  “We need to see Dr.Cho for further analysis.” Steve announced, bringing it to the attention of everyone in the room. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Cap-“</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Dr.Cho,” Steve said again, taking another look at his wife standing close to Bruce. “..Now.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>It wasn’t even so much of how this affected him but how would this look for their son? A two year old seeing his mom kiss another man that wasn’t his dad. A man he knew to be a friend and a teammate.</span>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0003"><h2>3. Chapter 3</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>Getting used to her husband standing by Peggy’s side was definitely a big challenge. Having to control herself and resist the urge from breaking his hand was an even bigger challenge, he could take it, it would heal back to normal in a few days anyways. It was an action she was truly considering if his hand caressed any part of the woman’s body one more time.That genuine look of love made this feel like a nightmare, he’s not supposed to be staring at Peggy like that, those lovestruck eyes were meant for Natasha and Natasha only.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>It appeared everything with Dr.Cho was the same, still serious, still widely looked upon for help. Wherever or whatever this place was must not have altered people’s personalities because everyone was still acting the same. The </span>
  <em>
    <span>roles </span>
  </em>
  <span>felt as though they have been switched and out of place.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I ran some diagnostics on you. Your blood tests can be identical to that of the last time you were here. I’m not seeing abnormalities in your hormones, no tumors nor cognitive failures..Are we sure this is a suspected case of memory loss?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“No,” Natasha replied at the same time as Steve claimed “Yes”, making her roll her eyes and have to ignore him. “I remember everything just fine, other than her,” She glanced at Peggy before turning back to the doctor. “You can do an MRI scan, a PET scan and even an entire neurological evaluation. It's not going to change anything-”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You don’t just wake up after passing out claiming to be his wife, Natasha-”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You don’t just wake up after being born in 1900,” She retorted back to the brunette who tried not to express how taken aback she was. “Steve were frozen on the ice for over nearly 100 years-”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah and so was she, we were on the airplane together, we went down together.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“So she’s 100 and capable of getting pregnant.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“My ovaries were preserved and the years in the ice slowed down the aging, the serum works wonders darling,”</span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>Natasha scoffed with all intentions and meanings of offense behind it. “Yeah I find that hard to believe-”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Enough,” Dr.Cho intervened before Peggy got the opportunity to respond and have a fight take place in the middle of her workspace. “Agent Romanoff is right in means of not having memory loss. She’s explained many key details of her life, some more speculated than others. You said that you and Steve are married, correct?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“With a son.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Right. That’s where it gets muggy..You’ve also mentioned Mr.Barnes who’s a wanted criminal in the state of New York and several other countries.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Steve made a weird movement with his jaw at the mention of his former friend, it was pretty indescribable but Natasha could tell there were still some vague sore spots over not succeeding in getting him back.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Has there been no recent head injuries? Inflicted trauma, concussions, skull fractures?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“The last thing I remember was being under some sort of spell caused by unstable energy that was extorted from Wanda, after that it was all a blur and I woke up to my husband kissing his ex-lover and my past fling calling me his fiancee.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The doctor aimed her look towards Wanda. “What were you practicing that caused so much unbalanced energy?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Simple and controllable magic. Energy projection but I never went over my limit. I blacked out first and the moment I woke up Nat was down.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m getting subtle hints over what might’ve happened..However, I don’t want to do anything else until i’m absolutely positive you’re suffering what I believe is a case that’s out of my hands.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“So what, I’m supposed to be experiencing this forever while my husband flaunts his new life?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Peggy intervened before Steve tried to play the nice guy and respectfully disagreed. “He’s not flaunting anything, everything is normal besides the information you’re giving.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Everything </span>
  <em>
    <span>was</span>
  </em>
  <span> normal until I woke up and saw you,” </span>
  
  <span>Natasha stated honestly, not meaning to say it as coldly as she did but what else was expected? This isn’t the life she’s been living the past 10 years. Her son’s not here to skip around her and call her “mommy” and her husband isn’t the same as before, she’s watching him act so lovingly to another woman. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>The claims were actually very interesting and only heightened Dr.Cho’s suspicions. This is Natasha. There’s no signs of memory loss but she’s being serious when she says her and Steve are a couple and that they’re also parents. “I see..and how old is your son, if you don’t mind me asking?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“He’s two, turns three in June.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Okay..I’ll need to get in touch with other specialists on the matter, Wanda you’ll come with me to explain most of your abilities as well.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“And what is supposed to happen while I wait? Just frolic around pretending like everything's okay?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"My advice would be to familiarize yourself with everyone and your surroundings, see if any else has changed. Amnesia really shouldn't occur under these circumstances. Our best bet relies on those on my contact list whom I’m sure are significantly more educated on this than I am.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The mention of him and Natasha having a son continuously peaked his interest. It was random, it only felt more untimely as she claimed they’re married as well. "Do you have any ideas on what may have happened?"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"I'd rather not put on any theories until I get in touch with a friend. We’ve already had two of the best neurologists in the world informed. But I can assure you, no one’se better than this man. We'll find whatever is wrong fix it as quickly as possible, after all you’re an Avenger, you still need to be out on the field in case of an emergency."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>If it came down to it, she would still suit up and fight like she needed to. Priorities are still inside her and being a superhero is still on her calling card despite everything that’s happening at the moment.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Natasha got up after being fed up with the lack of solutions that were presented. Solutions that would happen immediately and effectively. The tears that had begun to fill her eyes after she pushed past on her way out the door Bruce was tears of anger and frustration. This wasn’t her life and she knows it. It</span>
  <em>
    <span> couldn’t</span>
  </em>
  <span> be her life. A couple hours ago she was with her husband and son and that’s completely changed. The two people that meant the most to her weren’t here, mentally in Steve’s case and physically in regards to James. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>There was so much she’d do right now in order to feel some kind of hug or kiss from either of them. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“You ready?” Steve asked his son who replied with an enthusiastic yeah and was bouncing with joy, the box chocolates in his hand had started to make some noise. “We have to stay quiet though okay? Mommy could still be sleeping?” Steve put a finger to his mouth and said a quiet “Shh”, his son mimicking his sound and movements. “Alright let’s go.”</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Steve stealthily opened the door, making sure it didn’t creak or make any kinds of noises. He led James inside the room, Steve seeing Natasha still in bed catching up on sleep from her mission that ended yesterday afternoon. Steve picked him up and sat him on the bed. “Wait here until daddy gives you the signal,” Steve whispered, kissing his son’s head.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Natasha could feel a presence and heard small bits of whispering but she assumed it was Steve who was quietly singing a small song so as to not wake her up. The bed shifted down a little, getting a sense of his smell and consciously coming to the decision that he was looming over her.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Steve placed innocent little kisses on her cheek, Natasha tiredly groaned into the pillow. “It’s too early.”</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“I need to wake you up one way or another birthday girl,” He whispered gently, his voice was like a soothing tune in her ears.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“Then start undressing yourself and make it worth my time,” She faced him and had her arms wrap around his neck, placing a tamed kiss on his lips. “It’ll be an early gift.”</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Steve chuckled against her lips, pecking them once more. “Normally, I would love to do nothing more than give you your own private strip show but our son’s in the room.”</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Because of how he was standing, yet still partially on top of her, Natasha hadn’t been able to see their little boy patiently waiting at the bottom of the bed. It wasn’t until Steve backed up and Natasha found her son at the foot of their bed, both his face and clothes now dirtied with bits of chocolate that he had been sneakily eating.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“Surprise?” Natasha sarcastically asked her husband who sighed with his head down before picking it up to make a funny face at their son.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“That wasn’t part of the plan I swear.”</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>James climbed over to the top of the bed to throw himself on his mom. “Your day mommy!” He exclaimed because he couldn’t quite say the word birthday just yet.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“It’s mommy’s day? Can you do me a favor? She asked of him while tickling his stomach. “Can you take the lead next time instead of daddy?”</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“Very funny,” Steve put the chocolates that were still in the box to the side, Natasha kissing a part of her son’s face that didn’t have any chocolate residue on it. “I’ll handle cleaning him up and you should enjoy the complimentary breakfast we made for you. Blueberry pancakes, slightly overdone eggs and partially burnt bacon but I tried it, still tastes great.”</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“I bet it does.” </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Steve leaned in, sharing one last kiss with his wife, saying a small, “Happy birthday, Nat.” Both he and James kissed her cheek. </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>Her birthday was only two weeks ago, she remembers the entire day like it had just happened, everything they did and how much she loved it. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Natasha pressed her forehead against the railing of a balcony outside. This couldn’t be how she’d live out the rest of her life. She can’t bear not having her child and husband. Steve’s oblivion annoyed her even more but she didn’t want to get angry at him. It’s not his fault that he doesn’t believe she’s his wife but his chuckle and claim of her not being able to have kids pissed her off beyond belief. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>If Peggy could have freeze dried ovaries and was capable of getting pregnant then the knowledge of him incorporating the super serum in his blood was enough for Natasha to end up with the same result, which she did and had a beautiful baby boy two years later. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Natasha could hear footsteps making its way to her. It didn’t make her lift her head. If whoever that was happened to be an enemy they may as well throw her over, maybe it might increase her chances of getting out of this hellhole and get her back to a place where her husband remembers they’re married and her child is in her possession.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>A tranquil hand made its way onto her back, pretending it was Steve, wanting it to be him so badly but then she heard a voice, it wasn’t his unfortunately, but still familiar.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Is everything ok Ms.Romanoff?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Vision. She wonders if he’s changed at all. He’s an A.I device, is he Wanda’s husband now? Is Wanda also carrying his children or cyborgs or whatever they’d be-</span>
</p><p>
  <span>She needed to calm down. Internally stressing over her situation is just as bad.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“No,” Natasha answered truthfully. “No it’s not.” She placed her head back down on the railing. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“May I ask what’s wrong?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Natasha sighed, it wasn’t something she could explain without coming off as crazy or deranged. “It’s personal, I’m sorry.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I understand.” Vision stood tall against the rails, looking to the fields with his eyes closed like he was resting. “I’m sensing your paranoia and fear, your chakra is conflicted.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You’re a spiritual guru now?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I believe so,” he answered lightheartedly. “You’re showcasing more intense emotions than when we last spoke, they’re unstable. Why is that?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Your guess is as good as mine.” Natasha knew fully well her instability drew primarily from the mess she’s in. Explaining that to the Android next to probably wouldn’t make sense and she’d overwhelm his motherboard or however he worked. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Natasha began to pull herself away from her position to go back inside, Vision quickly placing a hand on her shoulder. “May I add that you’re expected to stay in your original room with Dr.Banner.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“My original room?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Vision read her face that was showing confusion. “Yes. I’ve been informed on what you’re proposing. I’m afraid It’s unlawful for you to sleep in a room with Captain Rogers despite..They figured it’s best if I told you in case you tried to harm me in which case I won’t feel anything.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The information became worse and worse day after day. Sleeping under the covers with a man she had a short fling with, that she can handle like an adult. The distance would be kept and words wouldn’t be spoken but Steve? In the same bed as.. It would never sit right in her heart, it brought her more aggravation, fiercely opening the balcony doors and walking out.</span>
</p><p> </p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0004"><h2>4. Chapter 4</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>To keep James from questioning why his mom was acting so distant and almost cold to him, Steve sent him to a daycare facility protected inside the headquarters, installed by Tony and filled with the kids of other agents who wished to have some kind of normalcy in their lives.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>A treatment or a diagnosis from Dr.Cho was well on its way. If there was one thing wrong with this whole situation..It was his wife’s behavior. She was a lot more defiant and independent, a lot more stubborn and irritable..unless of course her attention was placed on Bruce in which case, Steve can’t leave the two of them alone together. He trusts his teammate, Bruce is also a friend, a close friend, but Natasha—whatever she was going through, it was really screwing her mind up and Steve doesn’t shy away from interrupting her attempts to flirt with the scientist.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>There were limited amounts of ways a person can behave so daringly and smug in a physician’s lab but Natasha made sure to take advantage of every last opportunity and option. It was hard for Steve of course, he didn’t </span>
  <em>
    <span>want</span>
  </em>
  <span> to stay in the room but still, he needs to figure out what’s going on with his wife and how they could get her back to normal as soon as possible.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You're growing your hair out? It looks nice.” Her eyes looked over Bruce’s facial features, noticing how he was much more reluctant to look her in the eyes.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Sure,” Bruce replied neutrally with a small smile. It was extremely awkward, especially with this happening while Steve was in the same room and both men were very aware of the past that he and Natasha endured, they figured it would be put behind them but there was always some harbored protection on Steve’s end.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Bruce’s continuous ignoring to Natasha’s gaze made the woman fairly displeased, putting a finger beneath his chin and pulling his face to meet hers. “You’re acting strange,” she noted.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>It could have been harmful to just come out and say Natasha was experiencing some kind of trauma or side effect from getting hit with Wanda’s magic. It would have angered her to know that people were trying to “mess” with her way of living and Steve has quickly learned she’s a lot more vicious.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Steve’s eyes were practically on Bruce’s neck, in return he didn’t respond to Natasha nor look at her, yet he sensed her move closer, their faces being in close proximity again and made his cheeks go red again.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The man instinctively pulled away, at the same moment Okay, he’s had enough. Steve moved from his position in the corner to place a hand on the shoulder of Bruce, easily easing him away from Natasha. “Give us a second,” Steve spoke quietly, making Natasha become apparently offended by Steve’s interruption and scoffing when Bruce willingly exited the room. “Nat. Can you listen to me? For just a moment, please-“</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Why are you clinging around me Rogers, where’s Peggy?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Steve sighed, trying to break the wall she keeps placing up. “Clearly something isn’t right..this isn’t you.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“No this is me, and whatever game you’re trying to play is well-beyond childish. I expect more from you Captain.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You’re not listening.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Because you’re not worth listening to. We’re not saving the world, we’re not on any mission. I don’t need to listen to you outside of crime fighting hour-“</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Steve cupped her face in his hands, slamming their lips together hoping a familiar action would be able to get her back to normal. Never in his life did he ever want to have to force himself on a woman, his wife of all people, but he just needed her to come back to him, he needed her to stop referring to Bruce as her lover. For the sake of both himself and their son.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Natasha shoved him away after 3 seconds. There’s never been a time where she pushed away his advances. Steve stumbled a couple steps back before Natasha gripped his shirt and yanked him closer. Holding a knife behind his neck. “The next time you try something like that it’ll be much more physically tolling,you understand me, Rogers?” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>The threat didn’t scare him, he didn’t even flinch. “What happened to you?” He asked mostly to himself. Was her brain altered or something? Did that come with dual effects such as memory loss and hostility? Even if it did, surely if she can remember her and Banner’s past relationship then she can remember that before Steve voiced his love for her, they were close friends but she’s treating him like he’s her enemy or an acquaintance.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>It was she who looked into eyes now after he asked that question, trying to figure him out, squinting slightly like she was familiarizing herself in his blue orbs, letting go of his shirt with a her attitude was decreasing. If he was asking that question..and that little boy she got a glimpse of earlier; he called her mommy, Steve was behaving more matrimonial. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>It’s like it’s back when they’ve first met each other, Steve continuously trying to figure her out. He’s been through it already, he’s passed that stage and it was hell to get her to open up to him more. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>She’s stuck in a position where it paints her as the one that’s out of place because even her fiancé was acting differently “Where am I?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Steve furrowed his brows in confusion over her question, their conversation coming to an end when the door opened, Dr.Cho re-entering with a man who appeared to be in his 50’s.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I hope we’re not interrupting anything,” Helen spoke, the couple had been in close proximity and the conversation seemed to have held a lot of weight to it.</span>
</p><p>
  <span> “No, you’re fine. Who’s this?” Steve held his hand out, whereas the doctor professionally accepted and shook it.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m professor Erik Selvig, a close friend of a teammate of yours Thor?” Both Natasha and Steve nodded, she doesn’t remember seeing Thor today, but it makes sense, he spends a good amount of his time on Asgard. “I specialize in astrophysics, the studies of space, universes whatever else you can think of. Dr.Cho explained to me the information you’ve provided and I think we’ve come to a conclusion.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Steve’s heart felt relieved, a conclusion normally included positive connotations, even if the process of getting things back to normal can take some time, hopefully it’s something they could make happen quickly.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What is it? Wanda’s explosive magic managed to graze her but I got her out of the way before anything damaging managed to take place.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Any external damage.” The physician became excited over his revelation. “You see, the human mind is an extraordinary concept, capable of many things, sometimes beyond our beliefs, it ties into our personalities and our. existence..Ms.Maximoff’s spell had affected you and altered your behavior well before you got hit by her energy, the hit was just the final blow.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Natasha glanced at Steve who appeared to be just as confused by the analysis, it wasn’t exactly explaining what was going on with her. Selvig read their faces and explained further.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Allow me to go deeper.. Essentially, there is a—concept that suggests that there could be other universes besides our own, where all the choices you made in this life played out in alternate realities. The concept, as you may know, it’s known as a "parallel universe," and is a facet of the astronomical theory of the multiverse. So I believe that you, Natasha, are an incarnation of the Natasha that we’re familiar with.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“So an alternate version,” Steve reiterated, “She’s still my wife though?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Selvig winced. “Well in a way, yes. She is a </span>
  <em>
    <span>version</span>
  </em>
  <span> of your wife, just with significant differences such as in moods, personalities, violent tendencies and the choices she chose to make.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>In this case that meant when Steve had told Natasha how he felt about her, she must’ve turned him down and didn’t reciprocate feelings, causing her to end up with Bruce..She mentioned he was married to Peggy, in some alternate universe the woman from his past was out there. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>That made kissing Bruce in front of her supposed husband all the more embarrassing. So Steve had been completely serious. They really are married, or the Natasha he’s accustomed..and they had a kid? She was living the life of another version of herself? </span>
</p><p>
  <span> “Okay that’s your conclusion, but what’s the solution? You just confirmed that I don’t belong here, how am I supposed to get back?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Selvig didn’t want to mention that this Natasha may not technically be </span>
  <em>
    <span>real. </span>
  </em>
  <span>It was hard to explain it but alternate universes themselves are considered to be fantasy, so this fantasy remake of Natasha is here while the real one is in another place. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“The answer to that is pretty difficult as well. There’s been some studies from Stephen Strange that leads us to believe if you recall moments from your past, recapture all the intimacy that’s led you this far.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“My past isn’t the same,” Natasha interrupted, “Me and- whoever this other Natasha is, we don’t have the same past, we didn’t make the same decisions.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Which is why you have your husband here to remind you-“</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“He’s not my husband.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>That’s gonna get harder and harder to get used to hearing her say, however it made him realize what and </span>
  <em>
    <span>who</span>
  </em>
  <span> he was fighting for. It wasn’t going to be easy apparently but he needs his wife and their son needs his mom. “We’ll handle it,” Steve cut in, shooting Natasha a serious look, one that made her roll her eyes and leave the room, most likely from distress and to clear her mind. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Thank you, so much,” Steve said to the astrophysicist, it was a start, not a great revelation but a start. There’s not much else Steve could say because he needed to get to Natasha before she tried to run away, and as a deadly assassin, she was well beyond capable of it.</span>
</p><hr/><p>
  <span>Bruce was kind enough to understand why Natasha wanted to sleep on her own floor after Helen Cho’s diagnosis. He understood how uncomfortable it must’ve been for her to sleep in a bed that wasn’t with Steve who was currently in his room with Peggy.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Natasha found herself becoming completely restless. She took a shower, that didn’t help. She distanced herself from the team in order to get her thoughts straight, her thoughts were still scrambled. There was a picture next to the bed, all it took was one look for her to put it down. It was of her and Bruce of course, not as heartwarming as the picture of her and Steve on their first date..</span>
</p><p>
  <span>It was at a park. He’s so old school, she loved it, two grown adults using a swing set. It had a photo booth, she managed to persuade him, more like dragging him into it. They made silly faces. She kissed him for the second to last picture and the very last photo was of him looking at her shocked with a blush on his face.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>This was all too much, with wanting to punch, kick and scream at everything in sight, she was holding in so much and it wasn’t healthy. The best she could possibly do right now is cry. Her hands over her face, looking up at the ceiling. The things she’d do to be back with her family.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Even crying felt useless, it didn’t help anything but she had to let those emotions go. It was really late at night, their side of the quarters should be receiving shut eye so she found a little space and comfort in the kitchen, the one that was shared with other teammates.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Natasha took a deep breath, “Ok,” she exhaled. She fixed herself a cup of peppermint tea and added a bit of whiskey into it. Had she been back where she needs to be, James would still try to stay up with her and Steve.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>It was about this time where they’d make him a small cup of peppermint hot chocolate and he’d be so energetic and then crash 4 minutes later.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Natasha tried not to let her eyes water at the thought of her son again so she took a long sip of her drink. Letting the warmth with the slight alcoholic aftertaste soothe her veins and her thoughts, putting her head down on the counter. Her senses peaked when she heard movement coming in her direction, feeling the vibrations of a figure coming close to her, she grabbed their hand before they got the opportunity to touch.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>When her head lifted and realized who it belonged to, her heart unwillingly skipped a beat. It was Steve. And he was giving her that slightly startled look that reminded her of a puzzled dog, an exact replica of what Steve back in her world would look like had she done the same action of him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Natasha let go of his hand, that didn’t seem to get him to leave so it looked like he wanted to know more other than if she passed out on the counter.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Hey. It’s been a long day, that’s some analysis.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>She scoffed at his sentence, ‘that’s some analysis’? Who says something like that in the middle of someone being stressed out. It didn’t bother her, her husband would probably say the same thing out of trying to communicate with her. Only she’d find it a lot more funnier with him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Steve cleared his throat for a second, going over to the cabinets and pulling out a glass, opening the fridge and pouring himself milk.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Natasha rubbed her forehead skeptically, that was her husband’s go-to drink at this hour, everything that this Steve does reminds her of what she has back home. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>It still didn’t send him upstairs after that though, he drank a fair amount of it before casually leaning next to her, directing his attention in front while she put her head back down, obviously in no mood to talk to him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>When they went to Dr.Cho she was only half listening because it didn’t sound like any real resolution was given, only for her and Steve to “</span>
  <em>
    <span>connect</span>
  </em>
  <span>”, an option she wasn’t in the mood for right now. Had it been certain that by “connecting” with him, would get her back to her world, sure, she’d do it in a heartbeat. But because it was so uncertain, it gave her the feeling that it was useless to even attempt to connect with a man who married a woman from his past.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m sorry about what I said..how you couldn’t..y’know,” he said quietly, “Have kids. I didn’t know you were serious about having a son.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Who lies about something like that?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Alright but was I supposed to think? I know what happened in the red room, I know what they did to their graduates I just—didn’t want to entertain-“</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Entertain what?” Natasha picked her head up and looked at him. “Something like the possibilities of me having a child isn’t completely insane?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Steve scanned around them, making sure the room was clear for any ears, “I thought you were joking.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It's a pretty sad excuse to joke about having a son in the first place, so what would be worth entertaining, Steve?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It didn’t click right that’s all. The chances of you getting pregnant under those conditions are slim to none-“</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“That would be true if I didn’t have sex with a super solider who’s semen is apparently genetically induced as well.” He was quiet again and perhaps it was for the best. His timing of responses really aren’t that great.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Steve tapped his finger against the counter, biting his lips as his eyes found more comfort on the floor. “So back in your world, we’re really married? Or is it like some kind of arrangement?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Natasha’s eyes glowered, and finished the rest of her drink before standing up fully “You know what, Steve. I think </span>
  <em>
    <span>your</span>
  </em>
  <span> wife misses you. It must be tough being 100 years old and carrying a child, so I think it’s best if we both just walk away.” She pushed her glass against his chest with enough force to make him lose balance for a second.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Steve watched as she walked away, “I wasn’t trying to-“ It was too late, she got on the elevator before hearing what he had to say, causing him to take in a deep breath. Somehow he’s managed to offend her twice in one day..great.</span>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0005"><h2>5. Chapter 5</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <em>
    <span>James crawled over to one of his presents that was under the tree, tapping it as his way of trying to get it opened. He let out a small whine when it wouldn’t un-wrap, Steve spotting him and picking him up.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“It’s not Christmas yet buddy.” Steve laughed and kissed the top of his son’s head when he grumbled in a babyish way, pulling on his dad’s shirt. “Guess we know who he gets his attitude from.”</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“He’s impatient, we have that in common, yes.” She tickled the underside James’ making him giggle. It’s his first official Christmas and he’s just as excited as they are. </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Steve put him down, letting him crawl back to the tree where he tried to open the present once more. Natasha sliding her hands up and around her husband’s neck. “He’s not a quitter..guess he gets that from you huh?”</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“Well that and these beautiful blue eyes,” Steve joked, getting a laugh out of his wife before their lips touched.</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Natasha watched from the window, a gentle snowfall brought her a little smile at the sight, very possibly the first time she’s done anything close to smiling since getting sent to this universe. Everything, literally everything reminded her of James and Steve, reminded her of what she was missing. Sometimes her mind would occasionally scatter at the thought of how Bucky’s path was also different. He’s still out there somewhere, still corrupted. It pained her, he’s become part of her family as well, her son was named after him and was a major part of her husband’s life..she wonders what this Steve would think if she were to try and say that his lifelong friend was apart of the team and free of any brainwashed thoughts back in her universe.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>As much as she still really really wants to. She can’t stay in her platform all day, she still has a quota to fill and her job was surprisingly, not really though, still the same as before. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Natasha was almost on her way out when there was a knock at the door, pulling her away from what she was doing and going to answer it.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Wanda?..Hey.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Uh hi, you’re not busy are you?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“No, I was just about to head down, why?” Natasha studied her bashful actions, scratching the side of her arm and refusing to look her directly in the eyes. She was stammering with her sentences and unable to voice what it was that she had to say.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“The team was discussing your diagnosis downstairs and I uh, I just wanted to um-“</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Wanda,” Natasha interrupted, her cut off making Wanda look at her directly, she placed a calm hand on her shoulder, feeling her tense before easing it away. “None of this is your fault.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Her calmness over what she was going through made Wanda feel even more guilty internally. She always saw Natasha as a parental figure to her, even more so a sister..but this Natasha..she has a family..she has a child. “I’ll figure out a way I promise.” It wasn’t exactly her fault, but she still felt responsible for it. “I’ll get you back, count on me.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Natasha smiled at the woman’s confidence. It showed that she believes in herself and her capabilities. “Let’s hope so..everyone’s down there?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Excluding Thor and Clint of course, but Tony’s here. He cut his vacation short, said he wanted to make sure you were okay.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Natasha nodded with a small grin, no matter what universe she’s in, she’d be lying if she said she didn’t miss the guy. It was hard to believe he’s grown on her this much, still a pain in the ass, but she’d risk her life for him. “And is—she down there too?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Wanda tilted her head at an angle in confusion before her mouth made an “o” shape upon realizing who was being referenced. “She is, yes. It’s normal, for us anyways. Tony has some information from Dr.Cho though. But I understand if you want to avoid-“</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“No, no, it’s fine.” Peggy wasn’t the odd one out in this world, Natasha wants to try and control her hostility around her but it was hard..still, she’s oblivious to how personal it is to see her kiss and touch Steve. Peggy was also pregnant so that too stabbed her heart.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Wanda watched her face visibly saddened, leaning more towards disappointment but easily in a very low-key manner. “I-if it helps, you and Steve are training the rookies today. None of the agents know about what happened so maybe it’ll give you and him some time to talk?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span> “Yeah probably.” Not like she wants to particularly say anything to him at the moment. “Come on, I wouldn’t want to keep them waiting.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The sounds of people speaking became more and more audible the further Natasha and Wanda came into the common area. Hearing it became nostalgic for Natasha until they actually, physically stepped into the room, not wanting to make eye contact with Steve because she sees that his arm was currently around Peggy’s shoulder. Instead she pointed her gaze to Tony who hadn’t looked like anything changed about him at all.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Natalie!” He exclaimed, taking a drink from his coffee. “Good to see you’re well, I heard what happened.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Natasha hummed in response, sidestepping out the hug Tony was trying to offer. “Did you? I’m in an alternate universe but it seems you’re exactly the same.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Oh really? Am I still handsome?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Maybe even handsomer, you have a little girl too.” Natasha smirked, crossing her arms.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Her statement made the man choke on his coffee, causing him to cough a few times and earn snickers from some of their teammates. “Friday remind me to call Pepper later.”</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“Yes, Mr.Stark.”</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>“Right, so anyways. Cho says your mind did a little switcheroonie with alternate Natalie? Or is it the real Natalie? How does this work again? Doesn’t matter, anyways!”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Natasha sighed in both exasperation and remembrance, no matter where she is, she could be on Pluto, Tony Stark would forever remain the same and she honestly doesn’t want it any other way.  Sam nor Wanda were able to contain their laughs.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Tony cleared his throat and dramatically pulled out thin black straw, stirring his coffee in its mug. “So word is that you and Capsicle over there have a baby Rogers back home.” Man would he love to see how that little kid looks. “Obviously our first priority is getting you back to your world and being able to get our previous Natasha back. You’re both beautiful but you’re lacking the snarky comments you usually make to me in the morning.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You start to become more compassionate when you’re a mother.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Tony scoffed followed by an amused sound. “Reminds me of my mom.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“So what’s the plan?” Peggy cut in from the sides. “Like you said, it’s obvious she doesn’t belong here so why keep her longer than she needs to be, let’s make the transition quick.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Natasha hadn’t been sure if that was meant to be a jab at her for declaring that she and Steve were married and Peggy had felt insecure over it. Or if the woman was genuinely trying to get her back home to make their lives normal again and not have this weird tension between her and Steve keep happening.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Ah,ah,ah, I’m getting to the good stuff..just know that we’re still in the middle of making sense out of it but we believe it definitely might help you get back.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Steve himself was interested in the answer. “What is it?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Funny you should ask.” Tony raised a suggestive brow before visibly trying to hold back his fit of laughter. “I..have..made a room. A room in which both you; Cap and Natalie will both stay in-“</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What?!” Peggy outbursted. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Just to see if we’re making progress with this entire universe-bending crap!” The billionaire explained. “By enclosing intimacy and having you two build a relationship that Widow is more familiar with, it’ll cause a switch to flick in her head that’ll transport her back to her world..I’m not sure how it works for the other Natasha..probably the same thing because it’s going based on your experience and the life you were living before-“</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Hang on, what kind of intimacy?” Rhodey questioned confusedly, this entire situation was a lot to take in and mind-boggling at most.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Tony bit his finger at the mere thought of this happening between the two. “Sex, I’m talking about sex.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Peggy gawked followed by the release of her disapproval. “Absolutely not.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It’s the only way! Not only that but it also serves as a scientific reason..if it works it’s another chapter in the ole’ book of astrophysics that’s solved.” The room was still quiet, Steve looking towards Natasha who didn’t return the gaze, his long term stare earned him a nudge in the ribs from his wife beside him. “It’s only sex, Jesus you guys are acting like they have to join a cult together. Just create a high level of intimacy, a little kissy kissy here and there during the moment and you should be golden.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Natasha didn’t exactly have a problem with it, but she was in no mood to deal with Steve’s off-timing comments so instead she prepared herself to leave. “It’s 9:45..I have a post to be on.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Amazing, so does ice boy here, you two can start to build that intimacy verbally, I’ll tell you more about the room later on.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Mhm.” Natasha got up and left, Steve awkwardly trailing behind her, forgetting to kiss his wife behind as he was too focused on what he might say to Natasha in regards to later on. Also about how he should address what happened between them last night and how he hadn’t meant to offend her.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Steve kept close behind her all day but not to the point where he was basically breathing down her neck. They’ve talked to agents together, considering her circumstances she was able to adapt to this slightly foreign environment very easily. She also mirrored her old self greatly, but Steve knew better..even the old Natasha would make conversation with him sometimes.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>It was hard to push his pride aside for some reason, but this was something they needed to discuss. Hello, they were supposed to have sex tonight shouldn’t that be a main topic of conversation?</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Romanov,” Steve called out to her, although he wasn’t exactly calling out, they were walking down a hallway and he was trying to get her attention.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>She didn’t respond, instead focusing on the tablet in her hands, his first call out to her almost made her respond because it was still second nature to her but then she remembers this Steve is married to another woman.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Steve’s authoritative side was getting to him, it happens whenever someone purposely ignores him. It bugged him even more for some reason when Natasha does it. Probably because he expects her to be more professional about it and not let her emotions get in the way of them communicating like they need to.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Natasha,” he said once more, this time in a stern manner. Holding her arm back, she attempted to pull it away but Steve’s grip tightened, getting her to turn and face him. “What’s your problem?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I don’t have a problem.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Her tone was relatively calm, making his grip loosen. The nonchalant of her face even made Steve relax and caused him to soften up a bit. She was upset and he could tell. She was partially annoyed and he could tell. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You can talk to me-“</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Can I? Because whenever we do end up talking you always say something to piss me off. You always question the seriousness of my marriage and me being a mom.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He’d admit, that was a constant fault of his, but it was all so unnatural to him. He wasn’t used to Natasha behaving this way. She always kept it adequate despite what they’ve endured before in their own past.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean it.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I know, you never do.” Her cold remark caused his eyes to flare. It made her kick herself to keep this hostile behavior but she couldn’t because he technically is still her husband and she can’t find it in herself to be cold to him like that. “You don’t have to follow me..I’ll see you tonight, ok?” For a split second she nearly leaned up to peck his lips like she and Steve normally would but she didn’t..she remembered where she was at and that embarrassment of knowing he would just pull away was setting in again.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Steve nodded, his eyes were always on her whenever she walked away and even when she didn’t. A word doesn’t even have to be said and his attention gets put on her from the beginning. When she called him her husband that day his face unwilling became hot but he had to control it, now they’re given the task of having sex?</span>
</p><p>
  <span>It put a lot more pressure on him than he’d like to admit that’s for sure.</span>
</p><p> </p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0006"><h2>6. Chapter 6</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>Steve kept an eye on his wife for some time now. He held his son’s hand but the little boy had been constantly whining and pulling from his dad’s side, trying to reach out and go towards his mom.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He picked him up, bouncing him in his arms as he cried, Natasha staring into nothingness in the middle of the kitchen, obviously unhappy with the suggestion to have sex. Steve didn’t want to get offended, but like it was explained, this </span>
  <em>
    <span>was</span>
  </em>
  <span> Natasha, but it was a different spectrum. So deep down it almost felt as if his real wife incorporated some of this in her personality as well. Viewing him as clingy, overbearing..that it’s possible somewhere in her heart she still held feelings for Bruce and didn’t care for their son. It was a long shot but what if it were true.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“We can start heading upstairs if you want, James will need to go to bed soon anyways,” Steve told her, watching as she sighed and got up to walk towards the elevator.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Mommy,” James said, reaching out for her again. Steve held his son’s hand back and kissed the back of it, making James sadly lay his head down.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The noise from the Christmas sound blared through the speakers causing Natasha to instinctively place her hands on the side with her gun holster out of preparation for an attack.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Steve chuckled at her quick motion, he believes that’s the first time he’s seen anything actually startle her. “Relax scourge, it’s just an installment from the elevator.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Natasha slowly removed her hands from her gun, walking into the elevator and kept her guard up. They were in a confined space together but Steve could still clearly feel the distance she was pushing. James tried to hold her hand but with hesitation Natasha folded her arms, keeping her eyes straight. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>It was her second time sleeping on this floor, no matter how much she insists on getting her own room, it’s been told that because she and Steve are “married”, they turned their individual rooms into something else. The place was cozy, sure, it was nice. But she doesn’t want to be near Steve, like at all, and it’s something he could very well see which makes him confused.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>It hurt him to see how she doesn’t want to be near him or even have him really talk to her, but their son was a different story. James was a toddler he doesn’t understand what’s going on, he just wants his parents to notice and play with him like they always would. His mom hadn’t picked him up at all recently. She hadn’t hugged him, nor had she kissed him. James would babble and speak to her and there would be a response from her because she wouldn’t look at him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“He misses his mom you know, that’s still you..you can at least give him some kind of attention.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Natasha slightly furrowed her brows at her supposed child, the little boy dropping his pout and smiling when she finally looked at him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>James bounced happily, tapping her leg and holding up a little, soft  soccer ball in his hands. “Ball mommy.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Yeah..a child calling her mommy was something she’d have to get used to. There’s a vague memory in the back of her head of the face of him, but she couldn't quite put her on it. His eyes, his hair, his entire face, even his voice..it was somewhat recognizable.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Natasha took the ball from his hand and tossed it in a different direction, the action made James run to where he heard the ball. Natasha scoffing in minor humor. “What is he, part canine?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Part super super soldier if it helps.” Steve smiled, both he and Natasha witnessing James pick the ball up again and throw it in a different direction. “He’s light on his feet. Gets that from you.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Natasha opened her mouth to say something but decided not to, being that Steve already had an idea of what she was going to say. That James is still a part of her, she’s still his mom just like Steve is still her husband. She would have disagreed with him completely if there hadn’t been this faint memory of him somewhere in the back of her head. The more he’s around, the more it starts to hit her.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Whenever she goes too far off into recognizing the face and the voice of that child some kind of force pulls her back to where she first started. Irritation of being stuck here, not sharing the same room as her fiancé or at least having her own floor, she doesn’t need to be wasting time here.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Steve carefully examined her change of mood, whenever they seemed to be getting somewhere, it’s like a switch flicks inside of her and takes them 3 steps back. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>James came running back over to them, he held the ball up again to his mom and bounced happily. “Here mommy!”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Natasha pierced her eyes at him, kind of like if she’s trying to figure out why she knows him from somewhere, more than the toddler she’s met today. This wasn’t her universe, she doesn’t know this kid, but still something instinctive was calling her to him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Steve’s watching it all happen, meanwhile, James is patiently waiting for his mom to take the ball to throw it again but his hopes were shot down when she removed his hand that was on her leg, moving aside and traveling into the back of their living area.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>James sadly mumbled her name again, this time being picked up by his dad, burying his face away from sadness. “Mommy go?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Mommy needs to think for a bit bubba, okay?” James wasn’t satisfied with the answer, kicking his legs back and forth out of emotional anger and sadness. Steve completely understood, he wanted to do the same thing. He held his son up higher, it made James freeze for a moment, Steve momentarily forgetting that he was scared of heights. “We should start getting you ready for bed. How does dino nuggets sound for dinner?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>James didn’t know all of what his dad said, but the word Dino nuggets hit his ears real quick. “Dinosaur!”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Bath first,” He kissed the little boy’s cheek, making him even more excited for his bath and meal.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The table was empty and dull without Natasha around, it made it hard for him to try and eat. James was a beam of sunshine as he would play with his food but knowing Natasha was here, just hiding out in the back put a weird feeling in his stomach and he didn’t like it.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Of course this left Steve to tuck James in alone. Coming into their room to find the woman staring at a picture on the dresser. He wonders how long she’s been staring at it, but it almost appeared as though Natasha had been crying. Steve peered behind her, the photo she was staring at was one when they had their first professional pregnancy portrait.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Dr.Selvig’s words rang through his head, reminding her of memories from their past and seeing if it helps the process. “You were 8 months pregnant at that time..James expected to be born prematurely but he’s full of surprises. Popped out a month later than they anticipated, completely healthy.”</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Steve rubbed her stomach that carried their son, they found out the gender accidentally, after Vision mistakenly told them after scanning her belly. “We’re so close,” Steve said, biting back his excitement but having a hard time. His thumb gently skimmed against a little area. Kissing the inside of her neck before resting his chin in the crook of it, “Nervous?”</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“I’m trying not to be.” She’s an assassin for god sake, she’s killed people, she’s been in near death situations, she’s seen things no person should ever see, yet pushing out a child scared her to no end. “I just want him to make it out ok.”</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>His arm that was around her held on more securely. “He will. There’s not a choice at this point because I’m starting to get fidgety. One of these days I’m gonna pull him out myself.”</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“You’re not exactly a master at pulling out.” </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Steve chuckled against her skin, kissing her a few more times, sighing peacefully, his eyes going to her stomach again, sliding his hand further down to tangle with hers. “You’ll be an amazing mom, Nat.” His wishes his mom was alive, he wishes she would up the point to see his first child, to meet his wife..to see how far he’s come.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>Natasha’s hand pressed against her stomach, looking at that face.. it's just not possible. The red room took away her ability to have children, no matter if Steve was a super soldier or not. “It had to have been a surrogate,” she said quietly.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Take my word for it, I remember the hours in the emergency room.” The pushing, the screaming.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Natasha’s fist clenched unwillingly at the photo because she knows it’s bullshit, it was impossible. The serum couldn’t have anything to do with her absence of eggs and ovaries. It was much more than her tubes being tied, she wasn’t completely sterile. Semen can go in, no baby would pop out.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>She found herself glaring at the photo sadly at the face of the little boy. Steve took a step towards her, understandably seeing that she felt freaked out. Natasha backed away from him, keeping him at bay.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I need to get back home,” She said to herself, stepping around Steve who tried to hold her wrist but she was quick to move it away.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Dr.Cho said-“</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m not having sex with you, Rogers. That’s the very last thing I’m doing again. There won’t be any intimacy between us, I’ll figure a way to get back on my own,” Natasha stated, going into the bathroom and slamming the door behind her.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Every cold and aggressive word/action she does makes him think of how different his marriage was 2 days ago. Natasha has only been like this for a measly 48 hours but it felt like an eternity. Is this what a divorce felt like? Or maybe separation? What did she mean by “doing again”? </span>
</p><hr/><p>
  <span>Before she and Steve even came onto this additional floor, she overhead him and Peggy having a seemingly intense conversation. Steve promising that he wouldn’t take things far and he would only be doing this so everything can finally go back to normal. Natasha discreetly caught a glimpse of him pulling the woman into his arms and kissing the top of her head. She tries not to be jealous, she really does and oftentimes she doesn’t want to think about it being “unfair” because it’s probably unfair to Peggy that Natasha has to do this to </span>
  <em>
    <span>their</span>
  </em>
  <span> husband. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Natasha reminds herself that Steve is still her husband and she doesn’t care in what universe, wherever he is, he holds a place in her heart. Their minds were switched but his body and personality all still screamed the Steve she first married so maybe she does want to see it as unfair.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Peggy was his first love, she was second. Peggy was his first kiss, she was second. Peggy was the first woman after his mom that Steve trusted, Natasha was second. It’s like there’s this insecurity inside her whenever she sees the two of them together and makes her wish she’d wake up from their horrible nightmare. As discreetly as she appeared, she walked away in the same manner. There was only one thing on her agenda right now and that was having to cope with having sex with her husband who’s the husband to another. All of this just to get back home to the man that was her first in a lot of things, maybe not in sex, but a lot more emotional standpoints.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Both Natasha and Steve had reached the room at roughly the same time. Steve of course, forever being bashful yet chivalrous, decided to let her go in first while he trailed closely behind her. Scratching the back of his head when they reached the bedroom that Tony had set up. It looked like some sort of Christmas themed hotel suite. There weren’t any standard lights, instead they were red and green, making the room appear to be lit straight out of some kind of erotic novel. The bed had silk sheets and covers, a panel that gave them the option to play mood setting music. It almost felt like some sort of joke but these were all the aspects that would be needed in order for them to at least feel the slightest bit lustful. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>They’d bet that if they were to go into that closet, there’d be all sorts of costumes and roleplay get ups.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Steve nervously tapped his fingers at his side, not knowing how they should start. He doubts this would be something she would want to make an all night process of given the fact that they aren’t exactly on the best of terms right now. “Been a long time.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Natasha couldn’t tell if that was a statement or a question, making her double down on her confusion. “What?” Been a long time for who? Him or her, because surely he must have been referring to himself.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“We um..nevermind.” It’s probably best if that’s kept unsaid. It was quiet, only hearing her sigh and begin to undress herself. His fingers kept tapping at his sides over what he should do. Should he get undressed as well? It was rude to stare but he didn’t although he was having a hard time. By the time he looked back toward her she only had two things on. Steve cleared his throat, making a motion as if he wanted to place his hands on her hips but he was nervous, putting his hand back down at his side. This entire situation made his nerves go all berserk. He saw a </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I don’t know what to do. I want to help you get back to your world but-“</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Natasha grabbed him by the buckle of his belt, cutting his sentence off and brought him closer. “We’re married in my time, I know how it usually goes with you, remember that..Can you let me take the lead for now?” She slowly unbuttoned his shirt. “It’d make things a lot more—bearable.” The thought of settling for bearable with a man that’s supposed to be her husband sickened her. Whenever she and Steve had sex bearable was the last word she’d use.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Steve obliged, letting her unbutton his shirt. Just like always, he openly stared at her. Biting the inside of his jaw and feeling a blush approach his face. The feeling was increasingly nostalgic, following along when she moved him to the edge of the bed. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Obviously the whole marriage scenario was true because she seemed fairly comfortable with him. Not that he’s </span>
  <em>
    <span>uncomfortable</span>
  </em>
  <span>, she doesn’t know about the </span>
  <em>
    <span>other</span>
  </em>
  <span> Natasha's history with him, but he’s married to Peggy, how would it look if he enjoys this too much?</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The noise of his belt being unbuckled filled his ears, Steve looked down out of instinct but smoothly and quickly brought his eyes back up when her cleavage had been in his view. He swallowed hardly once she got to his belt off, becoming slightly embarrassed over the bulge he acquired already. Yes he’s a man but a married one, he shouldn’t get that immediate of a sensation or reaction and they haven’t even kissed as of yet. Even with Peggy it took him a moment to build that level of arousal but there was just something about Natasha that was undeniable, being like this brought back a different sense of memories.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Steve gave her a hand and tugged his pants off himself so it didn’t feel like she was doing all the work even though. He listened to her, allowing her to take the lead and went with her motions of pushing him down on the bed and straddling his lap. It resulted in him instinctively sitting up just a little bit, feeling her chest accidentally pressed against his when he did decide to sit up, she brought her arms around his shoulders.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Steve’s face reddened at the close proximity of their lips. Also realizing that she could definitely feel the growth of him while he’s beneath her which could’ve been the reason behind her biting her lip, or she was just gathering her thoughts because he’s learned that was another habit being around the previous Natasha.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“So..What now?” Steve asked. His heart was pounding, his mouth felt dry and moist at the same time from being like this with her. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>She didn’t have to say where they should take this. Steve unconsciously licked his lips, making the first move to lean in and capture her in a kiss. Just testing out the waters, it was short, they pulled away. To Natasha, it resembled the first real kiss she and Steve shared, one that was followed by many others. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Steve found himself going back in for more, this time with a little more force and movement to start things off. If they waste time and let this tension build he doesn’t know if it’ll be a good or a bad thing in the long-run. A little noise escaped from him that annoyingly made his face heat up in minor humiliation because it was a groan that slipped from him and his body was reacting by the second from the kiss.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He merely skimmed the feel of her tongue before he felt her place her hands on either side of his neck. Natasha broke their lip-lock, Steve’s lip absentmindedly trailing after hers resulting in another blush on his end. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Steve had to look away upon finding himself becoming uncomfortably hard when she shifted her own body to sit up a bit more, he let out a small groan over the movement, coughing awkwardly when he did as an attempt to play it off. There was no use in hiding the physical reaction, he was positive she had to have felt it too.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Everything ok?” he asked.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“In order for this to at least feel like it’s working Steve, you can’t be afraid to touch me.” His arms were literally at his sides, leaning on his elbows as they were holding him up.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>It was the first moment where Steve realized he actually hadn’t been touching her at all. Other than body contact, he wasn’t touching her anywhere. “I don’t want you to feel like I’m overstepping.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“If anyone’s overstepping it’s probably me, right?” She asked rhetorically in dry humor. He’s married in this world, she’s not. “You don’t have to if you’re not okay with it.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>His hands were hovering over a spot where he assumed he should touch but didn’t make the final decision in doing so. “Okay..but if I were to..you know..where should I?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Natasha smirked at his shyness, pushing him back completely until his head rested on the pillows of the bed. She assisted his hands, starting off easy and setting them on her hips. Steve idly rubbed his thumb against her hip bone.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>His heart skipped a beat when her hands slid down his body and towards his boxers.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“W-wait!” He interrupted with a pounce of his upper body, causing Natasha to raise a brow at his sudden outburst and movement. “Shouldn’t we use a um..a-a condom?” He asked with a sheepish look, finding it hard to keep his eyes up.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Well I’m clean first of all..I would assume you are too but I get why you would want to use one-”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Don’t get me wrong, I don’t want to- Or maybe I do! But you’re able to get pregnant right?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yes Steve, I’m capable of getting pregnant.” It’s not what he says, it’s how he says it, like he’s still oblivious even after she keeps saying yes, it’s possible for her to have a child.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m not trying to be offensive, I’m just saying it’d be more responsible for us to use one.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Do you have any?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He pursed his lips and shook his head. Keeping a hand on her waist when he leaned a bit beside them to open a bedside drawer for any kind of protection but he came up empty handed. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Seriously? It was basically a room for sex, he thought Tony would provide some. His eyes kept moving between her cleavage and out of respect for both her and his wife, going back up to her face. “I’m sorry,” he mumbled.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Even in this world the apologetic attitude was still present. “It’s fine, my bra would be off if you were the Steve I’m accustomed to..you want me to put a shirt on?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“No,” he answered almost too quickly, making him find another action to do and tap his finger on her hip. “It’s okay. It might help in some physical way.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Natasha had to bite back a grin at his explanation. He had basically said the sight of her body uncovered would help him get off easier. Steve laid back down, moving his hands down to the bed of her knees, Natasha placing them back on her hips to start him off, it was an area she was just used to having touched by him. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Both looking down as she slid his boxers down, was it weird that he was still blushing? She’s seeing him naked, which he hasn’t been that much used to. She doesn’t exactly looked phased either so that’s saying something. He thought she was about to slide down his lap for a moment. “You don’t have to, if you don’t want to.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I wasn’t,” Natasha replied to him almost humorously. Did he really think she would blow him when he’s already a flustered mess. Steve moved his thumb around the material of her underwear, taking it off himself, his mind going to places it shouldn’t have been already.  “You okay?” She whispered softly to him when his final piece of clothing was off, finding herself becoming protective over him once again despite not being the Steve she was familiar with. They still shared many similarities, including the tint of their face the first time they had sex.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m not some inexperienced teenager. I’m F-fine.” His stutter appeared when he felt her hand grab him, his eyes becoming more lustful when she lined them up, slowly sinking down onto him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Steve let out a low noise when she started to slowly move. The noises she released were minimal but the way she moved, Steve would assume that whatever was happening was good. He hissed lowly, realizing that he was in fact wasn’t wearing a condom so this was like the full experience, this was really happening.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Steve sat up again, yes he was letting her take the lead but if it was intimacy that they needed, then they’d both have to play a part right. His hands held onto her waist a little tighter. A bit of his ego brightened whenever he would hear a moan and whenever he got that sense of lust on her end. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Clearly he can’t forget the physical aspect of it all, it does feel--slightly unbelievable, all the while extremely recollection of this moment happening before. He firmly recognizes those moans like they happened yesterday and it makes him feel shitty that he remembers it even though it was years ago, but very thankful that he made the decision to take his wedding ring off.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Steve would try to kiss her, but every time he did it was short lived because she would break it off. It was only small pecks at that point and her presumably disliking towards his kisses hit both his ego and his heart. He wasn’t sure if he should pepper kisses around her body, but she pulled away from mouth kisses so he thought it was best if he didn’t kiss her anywhere else.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The urge to do so was certainly still there, her body glistened under the subtle red and green lights. Keeping his eyes open was easy when she’s the view he had been looking at. Natasha had her focus elsewhere to even feel him rest his head on her chest, that one distinct groan he let out, brought her back to her regular senses, pulling herself from whatever daydream she was in.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Honestly she believes she had been imagining her husband saying her name in that breathy way that he does, it’s one of the only factors that had really been the reason she was turned on or the slightest bit close to cumming.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Natasha lifted herself off of him just as he came, the timing was impeccable, Steve gripping her hips every now again with every broken groan and with every squirt. The sound matched perfectly with exactly how he was feeling, with how he released. His mind was such an array that he’s thankful she pulled him out himself before he made a mistake and came inside her.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Steve exhaled deeply for a few moments to get his thoughts back, that just happened. He picked his head up that was cushioned on her chest, his face was still heated and his body was still humming. His eyes locked onto hers, unknowingly making his heart twitch. Her eyes, her lips, her hair. Steve brought his lips closer to hers, kissing her without warning, not feeling her kiss back, probably out of startlement. He broke the kiss and found her looking at him but Steve’s eyes were still on her lips, looking at her..oh no.</span>
</p><p> </p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Next chapter will focused more on Alternate Natasha and Current Steve. Future chapters will have more detailed smut.</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0007"><h2>7. Chapter 7</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>Even though last night, Natasha made the claim that she would “find her own way” to get back to where she belonged, she found herself shit out of luck considering she didn’t know where the first place to start would be. It is still technically the same night, just extremely early. James was asleep, it barely cracked dawn, it had to be about 3 in the morning when Steve heard shifting. He remembers Natasha apparently throwing in the towel and at least sharing the same bed as him, but the distance between their bodies was very apparent, her back had been facing him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He stirred awake at the sound of walking outside of the room, feeling the breeze hit his chest and face to realize the balcony door to their room had opened. It was chilly outside, it was December after all and although he’s been frozen for 100 years people would think that the cold wouldn’t bother him but it actually kinda does, at least this kind of cold weather. New York’s winter wasn’t anything to joke around with.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Steve sat up, rubbing his eyes and directing his attention towards the balcony where he figured Natasha was, which she very clearly much was. He knows that there’s been hostility between the two of them, all in which was one-sided and came from her, but he doesn’t care. That’s his wife and she’s staring off into the distance, indicating her mind was carrying a lot of thoughts in it and he doesn’t want her to be lost in her thoughts all alone. She could push him away all she wants but it won’t change anything, he’ll come back again and again until she realizes that this is what it’s like to be married to him. Until her mind gets back to regular reality, she’s his wife and he’ll continue to treat her as such.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Making his way to the balcony, where she was just looking over the ledge, letting the wind blow, not being affected by the cold or the snow that was lightly falling. Steve came close behind her, maybe he should’ve put a real shirt on instead of wearing a tank top because he himself was starting to get a little frosty out here. Nonetheless, he decided to make a bold move and bring his arms to wrap around her waist.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Natasha surprisingly flinched a little and she’s positive he felt it, he stopped the movement for a minute until easing his way to hold her into a tighter grasp. The action internally angered her but she pushed it aside because no matter how angry it made her, she still found comfort in it. She found comfort in his arms once before, she’s scared to do it again because what if it’s all for nothing like the last time.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Out of both hopelessness over what else to do and the warmth he provided, Natasha pressed the back of his head against his chest. The motion brightened Steve’s person more than she could ever imagine. It felt like he was passing through to her but he needed to figure out a way to knock down this emotional wall up that she acquired. It only happened around him, Sam was fine, Wanda was fine, Vision was fine, but when it came to Steve she was so cold to him...she attacked Bucky the day of the incident, it’s highly probable that he’s not a part of her world. Her behavior with Bruce, it explained a lot. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>What if the reason she’s been so denoted and unkept towards him is because the Steve in her world wronged her in the past? She explained the day of the incident that he’s married to Peggy, did he go back in time or something? Pretty much unlikely because she wasn’t freaked out when she woke up to him, so the alternate version of him must still be in the present. Somewhere, his wife’s mind is stuck inside the alternate version of Natasha’s body..that’s incredibly mind blowing and after this someone needs to do a TED talk about it. Steve leaned in and kissed the top of Natasha’s ear.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Let me ask you something..” Natasha spoke.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Steve was ready to ask if she could ask him something while going back inside where it’s warm but he didn’t want to risk speaking and pulling her out of this rare calm state she was in.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Your wife..me I guess..how long have we been married?” Natasha turned her head slightly to the side and looked up at him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Married? 3 years. On the other hand, we’ve been romantically involved for 7 years and known each other for 10. I know it’s pretty hard for you to understand why I need the old you back so much, but let me ask you.. Is there a reason you’ve been so unwelcoming to </span>
  <em>
    <span>me</span>
  </em>
  <span>, specifically?” Her body tensed, Steve willingly released her from his arms when he felt her trying to get out of his grasp. “Too soon?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Whatever peace between them that surfaced was gone within a second. Whatever she was holding against him must’ve kept stinging her heart. It wasn’t an aggressive tension between them anymore, but it was more of a downcasted one. Natasha left her position on the balcony and he followed her back into the room, before she could even think of escaping by opening the door and walking out, Steve placed his hand over it, preventing her from going anywhere. “Nat, you’ve got to talk to me.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Stop calling me that.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You don’t want me to call you by your name now?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You know what I’m talking about..stop trying to get close to me, stop trying to act like my husband.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>It was happening again Steve realized. Whenever the waters were calm it was like that same switch inside her that flicked back on and made her so bitter towards him. “Natasha, what did I do to you?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What did you do? What didn’t you do, Steve?” She asked seriously. This ring on her finger doesn’t belong to her, that child shouldn’t be here. “You made me fall for you, Steve. </span>
  <em>
    <span>You</span>
  </em>
  <span> made me open up that night, you looked at me differently, you kept that same fucking innocent look in your eyes and told me I wasn’t like anyone you had ever met.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>This alternate version of him sounds a lot more confident because it took him 2 years to learn how to sweet talk Natasha. “You’re not like anyone I’ve ever met. The Steve you’re referring to, we may be the same person but I’m positive whatever he did or said after that had only been to protect you in some way. To protect your feelings and all the doubts you had about being able to love someone.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Natasha’s eyes visibly darkened in such a sinful way that Steve thought about mapping out an escape route to reach his shield but he knew better than that, he trusts her. Not even this alternate version of herself would harm him to that extent. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Or maybe he should’ve mapped out a route just in case, because he couldn’t stop looking at her eyes and the more he did, the more vicious they became.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>They began to well up with angry tears, gripping his tank top hard enough where he heard a few rips. “You left me for Peggy without a single thought.. As soon as she came out of the ice. You didn’t protect my feelings, you explained to me why we should break off what we had because you needed to comfort a woman who you claimed to love when you only knew her for two years. You went back to the woman in your past and married her, that’s why I need you to stop behaving as if you’re my husband and acting like you love me-“</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Natasha I do love you, are you kidding me?” He asked quietly, his own anger beginning to build up now. Maybe he and the alternate version of himself really aren’t the same in every way. “We have a kid together, we’ve got history.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“And if the opportunity for going into the past and being with her was to happen then what? If James wasn’t born, if you were given a decision to either stay or leave, what would you do?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He hasn’t seen Peggy in God knows how long. The last time he’s probably seen her was in his dreams and even then he’s been unsure on how to feel but he knows who he wants and it’s the woman he raises his son with, the woman he married. Steve opened his mouth to answer confidently but had been cut off by the sound of the bedroom door creaking open. Both of their reflexes heighted by the sound of it and from the original intensity of their conversation, it made Steve’s attention shoot to the door, but Natasha kept her eyes on him, keeping her hold on his shirt.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Steve saw one tiny foot step into the room and relaxed himself, reaching over despite Natasha still grabbing him, reaching over and opening the door a little more until he saw a head of reddish blond hair and a tired face. “Hey bubba, what are you doing up?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>James whined, rubbing his eyes and reaching towards both his parents. Natasha reinstated her hold on him. “Answer me.” Steve could feel her hand shaking lightly, she desperately wanted an answer and the only reason he couldn’t provide her with one right away was because he was shocked by her certainty of wanting an answer. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Steve looked back to James to get him to give them a few minutes to speak but it was too late when he walked in the room and managed to climb onto the bed with the help of the covers that he used as kind of a rope to assist him. He laid down on their bed, quietly going back to sleep. He could tell just by the look in her eyes that Natasha was quickly becoming impatient. He sent one last look towards their son, the balcony doors were locked and he made himself comfortable within his position. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He had to use quite a bit of force to get her hand off him, but he did it in a swift movement and made sure not to hurt her but he pulled them out of the room.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The way he gently pulled the door slightly closed was a big contrast to how he practically slammed his lips to Natasha’s afterwards. Having to hold her face in his hands, the strength behind it was powerful, his emotion behind it was even stronger. For a moment, he felt her kiss back and then stop again out of hesitation.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Her anxious behavior to kiss back caused Steve to pull away, keeping her face close. She didn’t push him away this time, she didn’t slap him nor bring up Bruce. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Her hands made their way back to his chest again, both hands this time, gripping his shirt yet again but with a more meaningful motive. A kiss was one thing but in this case, words spoke louder than actions. It shouldn’t though, she’s heard him say that he loves her, she’s heard him say a bunch of shit that would make a woman swoon and look what happened. “I need an answer, I need you to be honest..would you stay or would you go?” Would he stay with her or go back to the past, that’s the question that she needed an answer to. It already happened in her universe where Steve made the decision to be with the woman from his past. If she could just find comfort in just his words like she did the last time..that would be enough.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Steve’s jaw clenched by her doubtfulness. If this is what this version of Natasha was thinking, who’s to say that the other version- his </span>
  <em>
    <span>wife.</span>
  </em>
  <span> Wasn’t wondering the same thing? Peggy wasn’t the best discussion to touch upon between him and her because he knew there’s always a voice in the back of her head that would say otherwise, no matter how much Steve would reinforce his love, the insecurity would still arise..and maybe deep down inside himself that’s how he feels about her and Bruce.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Answer me…” She whispered softly.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>His heart tightens by the distress brought onto her, why wasn’t this an issue between them that was resolved beforehand? “I would stay,” He finally answered and could see her trying to figure out his motive. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Peggy’s past was cleaner than Natasha’s and she knows it, if this is her way of believing that Peggy is more “pure” than her, more “innocent”, then Steve would make it his task to show that none of it matters to him. What mattered most was that he chose to stay. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Look at me,” Steve said in a stern yet still delicate tone. “In every universe, in every galaxy, in every world possible Natasha, you’re my wife.” It may take time, more or less for other Steve’s to realize, but eventually they’d reach that conclusion. They belong together.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“That’s not true-”</span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>“It is..it is. I promise you.”</span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>Promises wasn’t exactly she was good at listening to or believing. But just like all the other times with him, she starts to trust him again, his eyes are just so honest and it forces her to pry open whatever stubbornness that was left. Steve kissed her forehead before wrapping his arms around her, firmly . All the while, his mind wanders off to what Peggy was doing in the same universe as both him and Natasha. He wonders how it’s like over there, how Natasha is handling it and if she’s capable of coming back because he needs her back, but he also needs to make sure the alternate version of herself was confident in knowing that she’s his wife and the mother of his child, maybe then it’ll bring something to her because the way she looks at James gives off the sense that she’s seen him before.  </span>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0008"><h2>8. Chapter 8</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>Steve breathed heavily, looking down at her to make sure she was alright. He tried to go in for a kiss like he normally do after having sex with his wife, but Natasha placed a finger on his lips, she herself was attempting to capture her breath as well.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“That’s not happening again,” she said breathily, lightly pushing his face away. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Steve hummed lowly, “We’ll see. If it doesn’t work we won’t exactly have a choice..seemed pretty intimate though, everything should be fine.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Natasha held back from what she had to say, pushing him to the side. Giving them both room to breathe and for her to come to terms with what happened.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>It’s been a good few years since she last had sex with Steve. Natasha knows this was supposed to be only for succeeding in their attempts to try and make things right within universes, however it also felt like reassurance after their conversation the other day.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Like seriously, she shouldn’t feel the need to have that reassured factor because in her world she’s still engaged to Bruce and it’s hard for her to do that to him since he filled the empty hole that Steve left behind. On the other hand, she’s finding herself getting caught up because Steve had just finished filling another hole of hers so what are the odds of that.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Her eyes connected with that of Steve’s face. He was just staring up, scratching the top of his head near his hairline. Oftentimes, like now and those years back she wonders what goes on in his mind. Where did she specifically go wrong in her world where she couldn’t get Steve to stay. She knows Peggy played a big role in his decision and Peggy wasn’t around in this timezone apparently, but what could she have done differently?</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Natasha smiled with an arm propped up as she looked at the man beside her, Steve’s position mirroring hers, laughing at a previous conversation between the two of them. His attention being put on his thumb that continued to cascade along her hip, envisioning a picture and using his fingers as an imaginary pencil.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>He had such a boyish smile it was sickening but it also fit him extremely well to the point where she adored it. Everything about him, she admired. He was soft, he was gentle. Their personalities were like polar opposites but the attraction was definitely there physically, intellectually and close to becoming extremely emotional.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Steve looked behind him for a moment and noticed the light snowfall. “Hey look at that.” Natasha glanced at the weather for a moment, looking back at Steve who made eye contact with her. “Does it remind you of Russia?”</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“Snow isn’t exactly something Russia’s known for.” Her hand rested on a part of his chest before pushing his back down onto the bed.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Steve enjoys her dominant behavior, he enjoys it a lot. She can be assertive and is vocal in what she wants yet somehow she’s still able to keep him guessing. Steve leaned up to peck her lips a few times. He ran his fingers through her hair. </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“You’re grinning,” Natasha observed.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“I’m appreciating the view,” he shot back, resulting in her own little look of praise.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“You’re not alone in that.”</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>A smile graced both their faces, Steve placing a hand behind her neck to bring her in for a kiss.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>Natasha blinked her eyes back to reality. If one round between the sheets would make her think about their past relationship then Natasha would have never allowed herself to be coerced into sleeping with him. How would Bruce feel back in her world? Having sex with a man she used to have past relations with.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>None of their teammates knew about her and Steve’s relationship and it went on for 2 years. Maybe except Tony who was always suspicious about the two but would never come out and say it, besides a few jokes here and there. But they could sense the tension between them before those 2 years of them dating. Someone should’ve caught the hints, between both Steve and Natasha being overly concerned and mindful of each other’s safety, or how they’d always show up to team meetings at the same time whether they were a little late or a little early. For a group of heroes they were quite an oblivious bunch.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m gonna head into the bathroom for a quick shower..unless you want to..you know.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m okay.” Showering with him wasn’t part of her plan. They had sex, okay fine,  but how long would it take for this to work?</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Steve got up, he felt a little uneasy because everything was still the same. Maybe it’ll take a day or something? That’s fine, but he still needs it to happen period. A shower will soothe his nerves from the racing thoughts.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The door closed behind him, when it did, Natasha sat up, hearing water running soon after. A cup of coffee will do her good, she decided. Her stretch was very catlike when she made her out with a shirt, it was his but she wanted to wear it anyways.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Natasha came away from the bedroom, immediately, she was relieved from the emotional intensity inside and stepped out into a more family oriented environment..she didn’t know which was worse. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>She doesn’t have a family, the Avengers were close, yes, but this wasn’t her. The Winter Soldier’s here for some reason, he’s not her family. The only two people she’s ever really had whom she loved indefinitely had been Bruce and..Steve. Steve who had his own family, a wife and a child on the way. She was forced to move on so she did.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Making her way into the kitchen she noticed a photo on the fridge. There he goes again, James. The resemblance was definitely there, there’s no denying it.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Back then she’d always wondered what it would be like to have kids or </span>
  <em>
    <span>a</span>
  </em>
  <span> kid with Steve. Who would they resemble more of both physically and emotionally. Going by the picture, he has Steve’s nose, but the shape of James eyes he received from her.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Something is poking her in the back of her head. A voice, something. A quiet little “mommy” being spoken to her, it keeps pushing and pushing continuously, the more her eyes look at this photo, the more that voice is presented.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Mommy!”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Natasha flinched lightly by the voice and the feel of small arms wrapped around her legs. Emotionally, she’s pushed this child away since she’s been here but he keeps coming back to her. It’s like he’s drawn to her. Would this be proof that she's actually capable of being a good mother? To the point where this kid felt that kind endless love for her even if she’s been cold.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Her jaw clenched, but her body loosened. James' chin was on her leg looking up at her. His eyes warmed the coldness she felt towards him. Just so big and free of any fault. He’s wearing a gingerbread onesie and whimpering as he wants to be held by her. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Up mommy?” he said to her, grunting babyishly as he tried to climb up her legs</span>
</p><p>
  <span>It’s almost like she acted instinctively, reaching to pick him up since the first time she’s been here. Instantly, James felt protected and at peace. Natasha sat him down on the counter. “What do you want to eat?”</span>
</p><hr/><p>Nothing about Shield of how it’s being run was different. Natasha wonders just how aggressive her alternate self is. Every agent she walks past keeps their guard and posture up as if she was planning to attack every second. It showed she had authority yes, but she’s still an Avenger, unless surprise assaults are something being instituted for some deeper purpose. Deeper meaning, to prepare them for when they’re out on the field, than that’s understandable. But if they’re wary of her because she’s done something openly violent..then that’s a problem and it’s not the example she would set.</p><p>
  <span>While she was doing her rounds and on her way to train the upper level agents she was called over from her comms to head Dr.Cho’s lab to discuss her current situation and to assess more possibilities on what might be able to get her back to where she belongs.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Why don’t you tell me about last night?” Dr.Cho caught herself for a moment before the debriefing began. “Ms.Carter the subject is expected to be explicitly sensitive, do you want to-“</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’ll stay. The information pertains to my husband as well, I’d like to be there.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Erm..very well then. Agent Romanoff, Captain Rogers. The previous night, I’m assuming you two followed protocol and initiated sexual relations?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Steve nodded, “That’s right.” Maybe he should’ve persuaded Peggy to step out of the room because they were only one question in and it was already awkward.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Do you mind telling me about it so I can get a gist of what was happening?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Peggy stepped, shooting a quick look between both Steve and Natasha although her question was out towards Dr.Cho. “What kind of things?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Physical and emotional aspects. How long did it last, which positions were taken into effect, and did you ejaculate?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Steve opened his mouth but couldn’t find the words to say anything. Not with his wife piercing daggers at him. Intensely wanting to know what he felt on his part and what he had to say.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Dr.Cho brought her attention to Natasha, knowing she’s more likely to get an answer out of her than out of Steve who couldn’t put it into words so she takes it that it was slightly, what? Indescribable.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It lasted roughly about 8 or so minutes, starting from when clothes were beginning to get taken off,” Natasha explained simply. “In regards to the position, I was on top so that should give you some kind of visual.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Mhm,” Dr.Cho hummed professionally, unnerved by the explanation given, she’s heard a lot more rated r descriptions in her career. Physically, everything was how’d you’d expect. Their problem was the lack of emotion. “And did you ejaculate.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yes..</span>
  <em>
    <span>he</span>
  </em>
  <span> did,” She said for extreme clarity. The revelation made Steve bright red. For the first time he had stopped worrying about Peggy’s demeanor and put on his own offended one.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>It wasn’t necessarily offensive, but he became defensive over it. “You didn’t- not even without protection? Yeah I find that hard to believe.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What do you mean you didn’t use protection?” Peggy interjected. And he’s becoming insulted over her not climaxing when it’s been stated that he very much did, she wasn’t aware that orgasming was part of this entire ugly process.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It just happened,” Steve tried to put it in the best terms possible..or maybe he was better off actually saying that there weren’t any condoms provided.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What do you mean it just happened!”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Steve placed his hand on her stomach, giving her a tranquil look, not wanting her to stress out. “Relax.” The calmness in his voice was enough to provide her with reassurance, but Steve was mentally battling with himself over whether to feel upset or not that Natasha didn’t—finish.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m not sure of the reason behind the decision, however going bare does increase intimacy levels. Natasha by you not releasing that could also play a role as to why it didn’t necessarily work. While on the topic of intimacy, I feel it’s best if I ask, did you two kiss?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“For a moment, nothing special,” Steve added with his own attitude which was infuriating because Natasha still wasn’t the slightest bit aggrieved or bothered by his words but he was quick to feel a sting in his heart when she spoke about her lesser experience.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Dr.Cho wrote down more notes, furrowing her brows in thought. “Even with these results I’m still not understanding what went wrong, sex on its own is pretty passionate, there must be some psychological role being played here. Steve is it possible you were thinking about Peggy while this was happening?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Wow, it felt like all eyes were on him right now. Stumbling across an answer was tough because if he told the truth, he’d be hurting his wife’s feelings. If he lied, he’d be hurting his apparently other wife’s feelings..actually Natasha kind of looked like she couldn’t care less but she was still interested in receiving an answer. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>His lack of saying something and giving Dr.Cho a knowing look made Peggy scoff, hitting his chest as a way of asking if he’s serious. Not once did she ever come across his mind? In the entirety of those 8 minutes was it too much to even consider her for a moment without being too drowned in this woman?</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Peggy stormed out, having heard enough, or not hearing anything at all in this case but if Steve would have at least said something, anything that would have resembled him thinking of her it would’ve made her a bit more satisfying with the idea that he’s given the mission to sleep with another woman.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Steve aimed his eyes at Natasha who held a bit of an apologetic expression, it was nice. Even if she wasn’t exactly feeling the entire discussion right now, it was nice. Natasha didn’t really have a choice. It was hard for her to be mad or annoyed at him for long periods of time. Even despite everything that’s been going on, everything that’s been said..she’s very protective and possessive to him and the more she’s in this fucking world, the more she can see that.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>What was more shocking in Steve’s mind was how he isn’t quick to run behind his wife after she went out. He put this situation and the circumstance Natasha was going through first because he wants to get to the bottom of it, he wants to help her. He knows she has a kid back in her world and wants to get her back to that. Steve soon realizes that only a few days in and he’s putting her first, it’s a problem he doesn’t know how to solve.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Noticing the tension left behind in the room, Dr.Cho thought it was best if they continued the debriefing, trying to get to the root of the problem. “I assume that’s a no?” Steve shook his head in clarification. “Very well, Natasha. What about you? Your son and the Steve you’re accustomed to..perhaps they might’ve scattered across your mind and made you realize what you’re missing? It could also serve as a purpose as why you may not have climaxed.” If she had been comparing her life back home and knowing that her “life” here, her husband was married to another woman, it could have conflicted her heart, causing each ounce of the devoted moment to be nonexistent. “Is that possible?” Dr.Cho doubled down in an understanding tone.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The more it’s explained, the more it begins to make sense. The sex was different emotionally and partially physically because she was attempting mirror what she was experiencing back home. Envisioning this Steve to be the one that she married and it depleted any intimacy since it wasn’t genuine. “Yeah..yeah it is.” She made quick eye contact with Steve. It made sense but it was still hard for her to believe. This man was her husband, yet she’s able to pick apart little bits and pieces over what’s different.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I understand..Here’s what I would prescribe. It appears that back in your world, you and your husband have a very strong relationship and connection emotionally, if there’s a way to somehow get the slightest bit of that aspect of your relationship into this one, there may be progress and a better shot of getting you back where you belong the next time you two indulge in any sexual relations.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“So this is a relationship now?” Steve asked indifferently, once again glad Peggy wasn’t in the room to hear it although he might end up filling her in later. “How are we supposed to connect like that, through what? Dates?” Did this suddenly become some high school movie, they’re heroes, he wants to help but if this process cuts in with his everyday duties then it’ll be hard to balance being Captain America, a husband, a soon to be father all in one.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Don’t think of it as dates, simply- hanging out, perhaps? If it makes you feel better. Get to know each other better, both your pasts are different from what you’ve experienced, if you familiarize yourselves there’s a high possibility it’ll advance and move forward into getting your old lives back. I’ll let you talk it out amongst yourselves, yes?”</span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>The sound of her walking away was the only noise that filled the room, Steve rubbing the side of his arms and Natasha making no attempt to stop looking at him. He had enough on his mind and enough on his plate, she understands that. “Steve, if you need a moment to settle down then that’s okay.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>It wasn’t, not in his mind. He’s let her down a lot in the past and he knows what she has back home.. “Nat, we’re going to get you back.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I know, but you have enough going on.” Her eyes motioned to where Peggy had stormed off to. “Maybe you should handle one problem first before moving onto the next.” She tried, she tried really hard not to bring her hands up towards his chest, but when she did, she couldn’t quite stop herself and she didn’t know why, gripping his shirt and pulling him in for a small kiss, a little peck. “Go..I’ll be ready to start when you are.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>His mind was an ongoing mess, he shouldn’t need a push, when his wife storms out the room he should be behind her right away but he wasn’t. He stayed back with her, he opted out comforting his wife and made his own decision to stay back with Natasha. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Steve felt Natasha’s hand slide down his chest, giving him a little nudge towards the exit. For the split second he swore he was able to see tears forming in her eyes but it was too late before she turned around and went away from him as well, leaving him to go see about Peggy.</span>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0009"><h2>9. Chapter 9</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>Steve rubbed the side of his wife’s arm, holding her as close as he can while trying to harbor all the annoyance she was feeling. He wants to say he knows how she feels but Peggy isn’t the one that’s sleeping with another person or another teammate of theirs. Even still, he doesn’t want her to feel like she’s feeling this way on her own. The sound, the mere thought of his wife who was carrying their child..to hear her cry over a situation like this..of course it would put doubt in his mind over whether he had enough internal strength to be able to handle his circumstances with Natasha.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Peggy didn’t necessarily want this to effect her this much but now that she knows what and who her husband </span>
  <em>
    <span>wasn’t </span>
  </em>
  <span>thinking about when having sex with Natasha, it built this foreign sense of insecurity. Since she and Steve have been together he’s been strapped to her side, he and Natasha weren’t even close when she came out of the ice. Steve came into the modern world 3 years earlier than she had, something about the distance and refusal to look at each other didn’t sit right with her. How was it that Natasha is his teammate for years and they couldn’t even look one another in the eye. Now that some sort of switch has happened and her husband can’t even stand to think about her..his</span>
  <em>
    <span> wife</span>
  </em>
  <span> during intercourse?</span>
</p><p>
  <span>His hand continued to slide across her arm in a repetitive motion. Resting his forehead at the top of her head until she was ready to show her face to him again. Tear stained eyes and a frustratingly heart torn expression. “You didn’t need to storm out like that.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Don’t do that, you know I did. 8 minutes Steven? The thought of me didn’t cross your mind for 8 whole minutes- what were you two even doing having sex for 8 minutes?” That was a little long in her book.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Trying to make ends meet. What’s worse to you, finding some sort of intimacy in 3 minutes rather than 8?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Peggy’s eyes bore directly through his, she wouldn’t care if it’s 1 minute, how could there be any sort of attraction on his end with someone that wasn’t his own wife. “I just don’t understand,” She said calmly, mostly to herself as she was trying to come to a conclusion. “What’s the relations between the two of you?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What do you mean, you know what she is to me-”</span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>“No I don’t because you never bothered to explain, but it’s also a known fact that Natasha’s married to you in another universe, how can I be sure that her feelings aren’t passed down onto this one?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Steve looked at her cautiously, he knows she’s upset about the problem they’re in but how does she think he feels? How does she think Natasha feels? “Peg, I’m pretty sure they would be in all honesty. I’m sure it hurts just as much for her to </span>
  <em>
    <span>see</span>
  </em>
  <span> us kiss than it does for you to have the </span>
  <em>
    <span>image</span>
  </em>
  <span> of me and Natasha kissing.” Everything that happened was behind closed doors, but his public affection for Peggy could very well sting Natasha’s heart. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“But you don’t have sex with another woman and just not think about me, Steven.” She’s trying to be arrogant or irrational, she’s trying to be logical. “Unless this was all just a physical attraction on your end then fine, just be a man and tell me.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“That’s not what it was about.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Then tell me! Obviously there’s some other reason behind your statements. Clearly i’m missing the part where it wasn’t so much of a physical attraction but more of an emotional one so help me to understand.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Part of him wondered if he would ever be able to keep his and Natasha’s history a secret. Every moment with her had been a rush of adrenaline and when Peggy was out of the ice time seemed to slow down and he felt it was best to join sides with the woman he could relate more to.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Even so, could he relate more to her? They were in the same era but nothing about their lifestyles were the same. Natasha’s childhood was ruinous, as was his own, that’s something they bonded over and was able to find comfort. When he put an end to their relationship that was it between them, it was all put to bed. Yet when he’s presented with the opportunity to feel that physical and emotional sensation, there’s not much he can indulge in because he’s a married man.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Steve placed his hands onto her stomach, pulling her little ways closer. He just wasn’t ready. It would get too messy and he doesn’t want her to overthink which would then put a strain on her. “There’s nothing. Reasonably speaking, I was just caught up in the moment and couldn’t exactly think about anything else because everything that was happening was surreal.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“So sex with her was otherworldly basically.”</span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>“Don’t put words in my mouth, that’s not what I said.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“But it’s what you mean. Your choice of phrases and words you decide to use are perfectly synced with how you really felt.” Surreal?  8 minutes of surrealistic sex. Amazing, exactly what she wanted to hear. However, despite her displeasement Steve’s grip didn’t let up, but instead he gave her a very familiar look, one that showed that she shouldn’t have anything to worry about. “Stop looking at me like that,” Peggy said a little more quietly, leaning into his touch.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I will once you stop questioning my love for you..I don’t want it to happen this way any more than you do Peg, I’m serious..But I need to help her get back if we ever want things to be normal again.” The chances of them having sex again down the line were at the upper end of the stick and if it’s to happen, he wants his wife to know that she won’t have anything to worry about. “I’ll work fast,” he promised her.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>She straightened out the top of his shirt, the material forming in a more smoother manner. “Not too fast..not too slow either. I need my husband back in our bed with me.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Steve gave a small smile, glad the conversation wasn’t as heavy hitting as it had been making out to be. “I’ll be there tonight. After going over this whole gameplan with Natasha, expect me to be right next to you.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Maybe a little extra, yes?” She asked suggestively.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Well we’ll see,” Steve chuckled, leaning in to softly peck her lips.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Natasha would like to believe she has a knack for being at the wrong place and the extremely wrongest of times. It could’ve been her fault this time, maybe she shouldn’t have gone to look for Steve so soon. Her only reasoning for going on a search for him was because she needed to know Peggy’s location so they could have some kind of woman to woman consensus over what’s been happening or what’s to come.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>But she’s so used to being discreet, being sneaky is easy when you’ve done it your entire life. So she tries to give them their privacy but then her name is brought up and it persuades her to stay. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Why did she stay?</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Just why? Because she felt the need to let herself grasp that her husband truly is married to someone else in this world and every action that she does to him, it’s </span>
  <em>
    <span>her</span>
  </em>
  <span> that’s crossing the line. Natasha would realize over and over again that she’s not allowed to kiss Steve whenever she pleases because he’s romantically involved with another woman.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Why would she put herself through the torment of hearing her husband make plans to have sex with a different woman, she heard that little sound of their lips connecting and then breaking and it’s enough to push her away. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>It’s enough of a reminder it’s not her that Steve fell in love with, that wherever she ends up, Peggy will always be his first love and there’s some things she can’t quite compete with and if it weren’t for her son, she would wonder if it’s even worth trying so hard to get back.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Hey,” A strong voice greeted, Natasha immediately knew it was Steve and at this point she’d even be slightly okay with staying in Bruce’s room rather than having to share this room with Steve. “You okay?” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>There weren't exactly any words said on her end, it built an uncalled for awkward tension between them. “Uhm alright well I thought we could do something tonight.” Natasha takes notice that he had two brown paper bags being held in both his arms. He set them down on the counter in the kitchen. “I thought it’d be a little fun if we cooked together.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Steve started to unpack the bags. Even with the things that she’s overheard and Steve’s feelings for Peggy, she finds his action and idea to be a little charming.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What were you thinking we should make?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>His eyes had a twinkle in it when he got a response. Even equipping a genuine smile when he glanced her way before looking back at unpacking the bags. “Nothing too arduous. I thought we could throw a couple burgers on the stove..of course we’d have to make the patties ourselves but I’ve got all the ingredients down, if you don’t mind that is.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“No..no I don’t.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He tried not to keep looking up at her but it was hard. When he and Natasha first got together cooking was one of the ways they’d pass the time, on their days off at least. Anyone would be shocked to hear how much time they actually spent behind closed doors. Then they were able to push it off like never even happened, complete and total strangers.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Trying to find something to say to her was easy, it’s working up the courage that was hard. This is only one of his only opportunities to do so because once everything was back to the way it was once before, he and Natasha would walk past each other without a second glance.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He understands they’re different mentally, however it’s the satisfaction of knowing that some aspect of Natasha is acting civil around him, that he can hold a conversation with. It’s nice, was it wrong that he wants to selfishly enjoy this moment while it’s here? If he’s going to have to be intimate and build a better relationship with her, why not put his all into it while the days permit?</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Swallowing his timidity and taking away this nervousness, Steve pulled out a bottle of vodka. “Think of it as a peace offering.” He poured them each a reasonable amount into two cups. When she drank hers Steve caught sight of her ring finger, it was bare like it’s always been but he knows they’re married elsewhere and he wonders what it’s like for her to deal with those factors.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You want to say something,” It was a statement of fact not a question. His very frequent looks at her would be off putting had this been any other man but she was sort of intrigued by it. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yes.” She took a seat near the counter and motioned from him to continue. Steve relaxed under her tranquility, her calmness probably stemmed from being fed up with what she was brought into and was just going with the flow at this point. “What’s it like? You know, being married to me with a child?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“If that’s your way of asking how you are as a husband then the answer is pretty clear. You’re great..all I could ever ask for in fact, otherwise I wouldn’t be so agitated and impatient in trying to get back..You’ve always been more tolerant than me in certain situations, you like to be present and aware.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Maybe that’s a good reason why she nearly flipped tables when she saw Peggy kiss him when she had woke up. He had meant that much to her and she was reacting out of anger and astonishment. “What’s your son’s name again?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>It was even hard for her to even hear him say “your son” because it’s always been “our son” between the two of them. “James. He’s really cute, practically adores you as a father.” She took another large sip of her drink.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah?” Steve chuckled in both humor and question. “How so?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Well for one thing his room is more like a shrine at this point. Captain America pajamas, towel, diapers..he’s your biggest fan at this point. Goes to show you how much of an ideal father you are.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“That’s a relief because Peg-“ Steve caught himself before he said anymore. That must be the kind of oblivious insensitivity she was talking about. His intentions weren’t meant for any harm but the timing was so extremely off.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“She’s pregnant, didn’t think I would notice but I did. She’s carrying your child,” Her sarcasm expresses her dislike towards the topic. She understands where her role stands from now on.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Steve let it go, not wanting to upset her, it was supposed to be a casual night or time together. Instead of opening the ingredients to the meat and meal entirely, he decided to start another conversation so they wouldn’t be left alone together, cooking in silence.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“How did we get together? In your world I mean, what brought us together?” It was a question he was genuinely interested in, how was it like over there in comparison to here?</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Natasha hummed into her cup, finishing the rest of it. “We started out as regular teammates, strangers more likely. Then…” Natasha shrugged. “We strayed away from the avengers outlook and started working at shield for a while. I think that’s when it happened. In just a year of knowing each other there was some kind of undeniable tension but going on missions together, just the two of us, it brought us closer.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>They discussed so many personal experiences, so many miserable moments and built a connection from it. “And that’s it, a connection?” It was just like how he and the other Natasha got together.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Well not exactly. We got together from a very very dark and um—cold night.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Oh really?” Steve laughed.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Really,” She smiled. “It was raining out, we were staying overnight at some rundown motel after a successful mission, draining but successful. Neither of us could sleep and the tension of sharing one bed was at its peak, one thing led to another and..it’s been history since.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You mean sex?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yes, Rogers. Sex.” As if it couldn’t get clearer enough. “It happened, it was all we could ever want emotionally and so? We continued it.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>They were married with a son and Steve’s eyes are giving off this longing sense behind them. If Peggy was never brought out of the ice, hell if she never went down with him his entire romantic involvement would be different.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>It’s possible it could’ve been him and Natasha married and on their way to having a child—or possibly even having a child. But he made a different call and if he’s thinking about it so much, no matter how much he hates to say it. This causes him to question whether or not the call he made was what he truly wanted or what he thought was right.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Does that shock you?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Hm?” He startledly pulled himself out of his daze and started to unpack more of the ingredients. “Not at all, sounds very fitting.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Man..he and Natasha, married with a kid? It was a thought that would keep poking at his brain until he came to terms with the reality of it</span>
</p><p> </p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0010"><h2>10. Chapter 10</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>Natasha was the first one to wake. They feel asleep by each other, she guessed Steve changed his mind about being with Peggy last night because one minute after Natasha went to bed, Steve had followed her in not long afterwards. She took notice of his presence when she felt the bed go down a bit. Hearing him sigh softly as he drifted off to sleep. Understandably, he tried to keep his distance, but if sleeping close to her was a problem then why didn’t he just go and spend the night with his actual wife? Natasha hadn’t been begging him to stay last night, she was asleep before he made the decision to stay back, having nights for him and Peggy would increasingly bother her. But last night, Steve didn’t even make the attempt to leave. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He was asleep by her side, his face troubled while he slept, probably because he knew when he woke up he’d have to face Peggy eventually, explain as to why he didn’t call or show up period. Either that or he was having a really bad dream.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Bad dreams weren’t as rare as they seemed with him. After what he’s endured why would they be? Like her, his childhood, his teen years, they were all stripped away from him. They were forced into this world of business because of what they’ve experienced and what they had given upon them</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Normally, it’d be a kiss but instead, Natasha brought a hand to go and soothe along his cheek, watching his once furrowed eyebrows relax under her touch. Natasha moved her thumb along the area, Steve leaned into her touch unconsciously. Natasha just watched him like she always does.</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>The sound of the raining patting against the window, it was soothing, nice and relaxing. The sound would be enough to put anyone to sleep but for the two agents? </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Very far from it.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Natasha enjoyed both the drops and the visual of Steve next to her. It’s not the first time they’ve had to share a bed together, but all the other times they haven't been shamelessly flirting with one another or have been excruciatingly protective whenever they do go on these missions.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>He turned towards her to say something but found she had already been looking at him. Watching her smile as if she was reading his mind. Even when they weren’t saying anything it’s like the silence spoke a thousand words. A million heartfelt whispers.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Steve got lost in her eyes, bringing a hand to the side of her face. Natasha picked at the top of his shirt, playing with the neckline.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>It’s almost as if all the noise had been tuned out. The only thing they could focus on was each other. Steve had leaned in closer, as did Natasha. Before their lips even touched Steve could already feel the heat and radiation emitting from being in a close proximity, when their lips did connect, everything else was easily history.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Enjoying the feel of each other’s lips for a few moments before Steve found it in himself to migrate on top of her, Natasha’s arms sliding around him. Not too soon, what else would they expect? They stripped each other’s clothes off, both becoming mesmerized at the sight of seeing each other naked.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Natasha was by no means a blushing virgin, but the man on top of her? Well he was the prime definition, his face was heated. She could sense that he was at a loss for what to do next, all his instincts coming to an end. This was where she decided to take the lead on things, guide him through what it was like.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Her hands were placed on his shoulders, pushing him down on the bed. He was blushing furiously when her chest had been pressed up against his. “Most people like to save themselves for someone special.”</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“You are special.” Her eyes twinkled from such corny sounding words. Both mutually kissing each other for a short while again before Natasha leaned back. Once she positioned herself correctly and slowly came down onto him, it was pure bliss.</span>
  </em>
</p><hr/><p>Is this what they do in this world? Attend Christmas festivals? She can see why it’s important to keep the spirit of Christmas but it’s not exactly the main way she’d choose to spend her time, she wants to get back home, not walk around in the street looking at very cliché Christmas lights. Honestly, Natasha never truly expected anyone, especially Tony, to set something up like this. It just seemed like they could be doing something more like, hero-ish. Even assisting in a soup kitchen would feel a lot more lionhearted than this. If it was some kind of “team building” exercise then she’s okay with staying back.</p><p>
  <span>And she would’ve stayed back, she was going to. But apparently, getting used to Steve being more attentive in this universe and more husband-like was going to take a lot more getting used to. It’s been a week, Natasha hadn’t expected to be here for this long, they acquired the most knowledgeable astrophysicist there is, she was expecting to be back home already but she wasn’t.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>It was kind of weird, right? Even if they were the same person, It almost felt like she was taking over her counterbeings life and that’s not what she wanted. Her mind would often drift to what the other Natasha was enduring. Or is she technically the other Natasha? If they’re the same person then wouldn’t that make them one? Their minds and decisions were different but if they’d chosen the exact same path it’d be a lot easier to gel into this lifestyle.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Steve kept close to her for his own comfort and for the sake of James to make him feel like everything was normal between both mommy and daddy. The little boy holds both of their hands which was kind of surprising to him on Natasha’s part that she even made the attempt to keep his hand in hers for the time being.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Although maybe it wasn’t that much of a surprise. He caught her that one morning preparing breakfast for James and saw her crack a smile at their little boy. Even with her mind not being the same, the one thing they’re agreeing on and keeping them close is James..</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The entire team was close nearby but at the same time still separated. Tony and Pepper with Morgan. Thor came and hung around, bringing Sif with him and apparently they had their own baby girl for 4 years now. Sam brung family which Bucky hung around as he tried to distract himself from Wanda and Vision spending time together.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Almost 20 minutes into the outing, watching mascots and light snow falling. Along with James being mesmerized by all the colorful lights and decorations on the Christmas trees. James also had a candy apple that made him hype for a moment but now it was starting to settle in, making him a little tired to the point where he wanted Steve to carry him while he took a little nap.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The nap would definitely throw off his sleep schedule because it was 6pm and he usually goes to bed at 7:30 so he’d definitely have a weird sleep cycle. There could’ve been worse things though, like James could’ve gotten a stomach ache from the sweets and savory foods he consumed. For a two year old he can surely pack food like it’s nothing. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>They stopped walking for a moment, deciding to stray away a little further from the group and taking a seat on a nearby bench that was placed on a walkway bridge. Steve fixed James’ little beanie as he napped, exhaling deeply as he looked towards Natasha who had been sitting next to them.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>One of his arms was on James' back, keeping him close so he wouldn’t fall, and his other arm was resting on the back of the area she was sitting.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Her eyes were focused on James’ sleeping figure and then when her eyes met Steve she did her best to avoid them. Losing almost all sense of serenity and trying to hide her emotions from him. It made Steve confused because he thought they were at an understanding and at a good spot where they could talk with one another without feeling this discomfort.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Steve smiled lightheartedly, pointing his attention to trees and frozen water in the distance from the view they had. “You know I never understood you, Nat. Not back then and barely now. Even if this isn’t the version I’m used to, you both have very similar actions and mannerisms.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You don’t understand your wife on an alternative aspect of her?.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Steve chuckled, dawning a light tint of red on his cheeks from the cold weather. “It seems you’re almost as complicated and stubborn if not more than you were before, but it’s always been in a nobleman noble way.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What do you mean?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Well I don’t know if telling you this affects your world or this one in some way but when you were 4 months pregnant with James we went on a mission together despite me telling you to stay home..Espionage related but you wouldn’t take no for an answer. Our cover was blown but when it came down to it, a little girl was trapped in a building about to explode and without a second thought you went in and grabbed her not knowing what the outcome would be and barely making it out.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>It’s something very—familiar to her. “Sounds like the kind of thing you would do.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It does, which was why we have a big argument about it the following days to come. It was overly courageous, generous and very sacrificial. You were pregnant and to this day, despite all the explanations you gave I didn’t understand why you’d put both our unborn son and your very own life on the line like that.” He understands how precious the little girl’s life is and her future being ahead of her but he just didn’t want Natasha to be the one to do it. One slip up, getting her foot caught on something , there were so many things that could’ve happened and her life and their son’s would’ve been gone.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It feels nice to be considered a hero sometimes. After such a destructive past there’s a lot of making up to do.” She can understand clearly as to why that decision was made, it’s not a woman thing and it’s not a rebellious or defiant thing..it’s just personal. “Anything else you have to say?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah..You’re a hell of a wife and mom. You had your doubts understandably but I don’t think our son nor myself could think of someone to fill in that spot in our lives.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Not even Peggy?” She said in a dramatic and petty tone when she had said the woman’s name. Getting indirectly jealous at the mere thought of her. Back in her world he’s head over heels for the woman, going on missions with him is unbearable to the point where she’d rather not do it and in some cases she doesn’t.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>What if they have to share another bed, Natasha doesn’t think she could handle the emotional strain, she’s barely able to sleep in the same bed as this Steve.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Steve smirked, “You’re jealous?“</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I am not jealous over her-“</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Not over her but over me. Maybe jealous isn’t the right word—possessive I should say, but in a very adorable way. One of the reasons you didn’t stay home on that mission was because you didn’t want Sharon to go with me.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sharon? Isn’t it obvious? She can tell by the way she looks at him that there’s feelings. “Because she likes you!” Steve gave her a knowing look that made her roll her eyes. “You think it’s funny until you start to come to terms with the fact that the reason you’re only married to me is because Peggy’s in the past.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Nat, we’ve been over this.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“We have, but just because you say something doesn’t make it true, Steve. In fact the only driving force that would honestly make you stay is James, because every sweet sounding and endearing statement you say? I’ve heard it before..I’ve heard it.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Steve placed his arm fully around her shoulder before she got the opportunity to leave and drift off. “You need to listen to me.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“The problem is that I have been listening.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“But you’re not understanding,” He said calmly. “Look..I don’t know the entire situation back in your universe but here, I keep the belief that in all other worlds that we’re married. It may not happen to you yet but you can surely expect it.” Her intention isn’t to put some kind of doubt in her mind, because when she gets back and sees that Peggy and Steve are still together it’ll cause her to put her walls up again. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>But it’s something he really believes is true. It might not have been the right time yet but he’s positive..extremely that no matter the case, they belong together.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>James shifted in his dad’s arms, opening his eyes up to see his mom and tiredly reached his arms out for her. Natasha hesitantly took him and allowed him to finish his nap up in her hold. Just when she thought about kissing the top of his head she didn’t. She doesn’t want to get too attached but then again it felt natural.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Steve could tell by her actions that somewhere, deep down, is the Natasha he's looking for. This entire alternate universe theory was a mess and still clouded his mind. Whatever the case may be, he’s positive that the woman beside him is his wife and mother of his child..whether it’s happened yet or not, eventually.</span>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0011"><h2>11. Chapter 11</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>Fresh air was good, it was well needed. It felt like she’s been on the premises of the compound for so long and to be able to leave it, even if it was for a festival instead of a mission or whatever, she was just glad to be around other humans. Meaning not agents, not superheroes, regular civilians. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>She saw Steve enter the bathroom and have means to take his clothes off, but not take his clothes off in front of her. It made Natasha feel almost offended by his actions, she knew he was just being chivalrous and trying to be a gentleman but still...</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Hey,” She caught his attention before he closed the door fully. Steve popped his body out to see what it was that she needed. “Do we usually shower together?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Uh yeah..yeah we do. Unless one of us is too tired or upset then those are really the only..times we don’t do it together- shower that is...” Steve trailed off when Natasha grabbed his hand, leading them both to the bathroom.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>It may not have been her normal, but it was as close to normal as it gets. Even if she and Steve have their history in her own world, they still participate in group activities, they just don’t speak to each other. In fact, if it’s not professional, one of their only ways of communication is by glances because even if they’ve got a rich and deeply fucked up past, they’d still be able to read one another’s faces.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>That was something she didn’t have to worry about here but she wasn’t exactly excited about it either. It takes hard getting used to being here and she doesn’t want to get attached because she still misses it back in her world. Mostly because she doesn’t want to be reminded of what could’ve been between her and Steve. Or what’s “waiting” to happen according to the man himself because he strongly believes that they belong together in every damn universe in the galaxy. But then when she gets back she knows what’s waiting for her that’ll disprove everything he says because she’s still with Bruce, Steve’s married to Peggy with a baby on the way so what’s she really got going for her when this is all said and done?</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The only thing that she’s gotten used to was sleeping in the same bed and same room as him. To make it even more credible, she was given the opportunity to sleep in her own space at one point, and didn't go well; nightmares. Spent one night with Bruce to gain some kind of nostalgia, bad idea; awkwardness, he felt as though he was disrespecting both their friendship and Steve. Instead of sharing a bed, he took the couch. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Surprisingly, it was easier sharing a bed with Steve. Most nights James would cry and he’d want to sleep in this bed. Whenever he did, Natasha would get a headache. Not from his small cry’s or tempered whines, but because whenever this child is within a close proximity of her she gets faint memories that no one knows about due to her not telling anyone. That same little voice in the back of her head matches perfectly with James’ soft-spoken tone.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>It’s not a painful headache, just an irritating one. Tomorrow with her appointment/checkup with doctor Cho she’d have to mention it. Natasha’s not sure if this was a progress or not but it’s something and hopefully she’s actually getting somewhere with this. She doesn’t know how much longer she can take of James' little voice constantly saying “mommy” in the back of her head.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Steve made himself comfortable in the bed. He sleeps with a tank top because he gets hot but never actually takes his shirt off out of respect for Natasha and her own comfort. As each night and day passes they inch closer and closer to the bed and in a close proximity. He’s learned not to move fast, there’s been times in the middle of the night where he absentmindedly wraps his arm around her while they’re sleeping but then she pulls away into her own space and puts an even bigger distance between them than before.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>It’ll get frustrating some nights sure but he tries to understand her position from her own perspective. It wasn’t so bad to stare at her back because it reminds him of staring at her back like he’d usually do </span>
  <em>
    <span>before</span>
  </em>
  <span> he pulls her into his hold.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The only factor truly holding him together was keeping faith that this wasn’t long-lasting. Soon enough, he’d be able hold her again, kiss her like how he constantly has the urge to. He’s continuously awaiting the moment where all of this will be over and done with and they could just laugh about it later.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Steve yawned, stretching his arms and directing his attention up at the ceiling. He could sense Natasha’s eyes on his face and finds it quite amusing how she tries to break him down and analyze him when he’s gotten used to her knowing every little thing about him insignificant and major. Steve turned his head towards her with a grin. “Yes?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You’ve got really big ears, you know.” She’s said the same thing to the last Steve and she’ll say the same thing to the next one too.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Steve lifted his brows for a quick second before huffing out a laugh. “Wow, really? That’s the first time I’ve heard that actually.” He knows for a solid fact that both Natasha’s feel the same way because his wife would often play with one of his ears and smile fondly. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Kind of like how this Natasha was doing now. It was a small smile, but he could still sense the fondness behind it. “Tell me, if—we have a kid, what are we doing living in the headquarters with the other avengers?” She imagines such a family oriented man would want to get from this and even she feels that way if she was able to have her own family—technically she can? She’s not sure how fertility works in this world but in hers she’s sterile.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Steve rubbed a hand along his forehead and breathed in deeply before exhaling. “Well we do have our own place actually, not too far from here but still a comfortable distance. Nice, big open area for James to run around. It’s quiet..homey. You’d like it, you’ve always loved that place, rightfully of course..lot of memories.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Laughing, crying, love making, arguments, parenting, healing; everything. </span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Natasha came into the kitchen finding her husband putting up their new set of cabinets. Or trying to at least, he pushed off the idea of having a carpenter come in and do it themselves but he was in love with the idea of being the cliche handyman/husband/father. It was a good view, she can’t see his face because his back was turned but she could tell his face was fairy focused.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Steve dropped one of the screws that he held with his teeth while screwdriving the other. “Shit,” he cursed lowly before exhaling in annoyance. “Please don’t just stand there. I could use some emotional support,” he spoke without turning around. These cabinets were really stressing him out. The kitchen did have an impressive view of the backyard and that’s really the one thing calming him down.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Natasha curled her arm around his waist, turning him towards her. “You’re doing great,” she said reassuringly, lightly kissing him. “For what it’s worth I think it looks good.”</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“Do you really?” Steve carefully watched her face examine the cabinets, it was a work in progress and that’s exactly what she was expressing. When she shrugged and nodded Steve took that as a sign that she was being genuinely honest. “I appreciate your input.” Even if it was a shrug it spoke a thousand words. Steve leaned in and kissed her smoothly.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>He’s not sure how long he’s been working on this but it felt like forever since he last felt his wife’s lips on his and he took advantage of it, holding her closer and having her escape a little moan. She gripped his shirt and grinned when he pulled away, biting his lips once he broke away from the kiss.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“Is James napping? I could use a break..I’m thinking maybe you can help me out.”</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Natasha smiled, her hands going beneath his shirt, getting a feel of the muscular surface of his body. “He is, just went down in fact. We can have a break right here if you want. Saves a lot of time.”</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Steve chuckled deeply, holding her up where her legs immediately wrapped her legs around his waist. “You’re a great distraction.”</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“I’ve been told.” She connected their lips and quickly became lost in each other.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>“Big backyard, fireplace, the view of the sunset and sunrise? You really can’t beat it,” Steve sighed in relaxation over the moments they’ve shared inside that house. “We should visit there. Spending a couple nights there wouldn’t be so bad, might help out a little.” He misses home anyways, he’s starting to get homesick and he’s sure James is as well. He loves spending time at the facility but sometimes he too needs to be home and just relax, sleep, eat, play with them, just enjoy being the small family that they are. Small for now because he did plan on expanding, as did Natasha.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>She’s not against the idea, it actually sounds like it might just work. She’s interested in seeing what the house looks like, and get a feel of the “homey” sensation he was talking about. “Doesn’t sound too bad-”</span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>There was a small knock on their door. It took them a couple seconds to hear it until he knocked on it again, already knowing it belonged to James.</span>
</p><p>
  <span> They listened closely for one more thing, hearing a soft little voice asking for them so he could come inside. “Mama, daddy?” A soft voice said again. Steve got up and opened it, revealing their little boy with his hair ruffled, holding his stuffed toy, of course the toy being a Captain America plushie, he’s his dad’s biggest fans after all. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Hey buddy,” Steve said quietly, making it easier for him to approach them, picking him up and watching as James rubbed his eyes. “What’s wrong?” Steve wiped off something from his cheek and bounced him in his arms.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I-I no sweep daddy,” he sniffed, before Steve got to suggest a solution he shushed the boy tenderly and kissed the top of his head repetitively. James pointed to his mom and reached out for her. “Mama.” Steve made the decision to place James on the bed, watching him immediately crawl over to Natasha and plant himself on top of her. Natasha tensed at first, looking at Steve to get him to do something but he only shrugged. What was he supposed to do, not let their son lay on his mom when he’s upset and in the time of distress. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Just because he had to get used to her claiming to not be his wife, doesn’t mean their son shouldn’t have his mom around. She melted into the boys hold on her when she came to the conclusion he wouldn’t budge, Natasha didn’t resist the urge this time and kissed the top of the boys head. Rubbing his back and felt his breathing steady, feeling him start to breath a little easier.</span>
</p><p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0012"><h2>12. Chapter 12</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>It’s their second time showering together, the first time wasn’t shaky at all because this was actually something she used to do with Steve and of course, Steve had already told her that he and Natasha did it pretty frequently. The first time however, Steve was a little bashful but quickly melted into it, no they didn’t have sex it was just a--shower, she’s not sure why he was blushing that day. Maybe he does it every time he sees her naked because it definitely happened when they were told to actually have intercourse. He has Irish in his blood, it could’ve been an Irish-genetics thing but she likes to think despite knowing her for this long, he still gets sheepish at the sight of his wife not wearing any clothes.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Like now, second time doing this, she wasn’t exactly facing him but she knew he was blushing as hard as ever. She’s heard him clear his throat a couple times and she’s got this sense of reading people’s auras, Steve’s was beyond restricted and slightly hesitant. Careful not to accidentally rub against her or even want to graze her in the slightest bit. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>If he does, he’s scared she might take it the wrong way or respond to it in a negative manner. There’s these instincts he has to just lean in and start kissing along her neck and sliding his hands around her waist because she’s his wife but he’s taking into consideration how all this might make her feel as well.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>And she knows the reasons he’s deciding to do all of this stuff is because she’s voiced her loyalty to Bruce plenty of times since she’s got here. She hasn’t exactly openly discussed her own past experiences with Steve but they were still there. As bruising as it seems, the more time she spends with Steve, the less and less she thinks about Bruce and what they have back in her world. It’s as if her heart will start to ache whenever she sees Steve sleeping beside her because deep down, she misses the sight of it. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Then what started out as little specks of James’ voice turned into full on envision and it freaked her out to the point where she’s a little more distant from the little boy now, like she was before.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Natasha was having an internal battle with herself on whether she should turn around and face Steve and for that, she did, she turned to him as he was washing the soap of his body. Her motion completely left him off guard and closed his mouth when he figured he had nothing to say, or couldn’t bring his thoughts together quick enough. The blushing sprouted from each of his cheeks making an appearance.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Hi,” he said strongly yet softly, finding his voice amongst his surprise. “It’s the water too hot? Or maybe too warm?”. Natasha daintily furrowed her brows and curled a hand behind his neck, “Or is it..” Steve felt her lips come closer to him and felt his words begin to drown out. As soon as she made the choice to press her lips against his he felt a little more relaxed.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Her arms slowly curled up and around his neck as their lip lock. Steve has to say, he’s honestly surprised by her courage to even kiss him like this after all of her prior reluctance. First the decision to shower and now she’s the one that’s making the moves. It felt exactly like his wife all over again.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Natasha felt this fire inside of her the longer and longer they kissed. It gave her the feeling to take things further.</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“You know you really are spry for an old man,” Natasha smiled when her husband rolled his eyes. Training with the team was great exercise but sometimes their little one on one sessions were well needed too. It gave them a little head start before they started going over things with the new bunch.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“Next time I won’t pull my punches.” She nailed him across the jaw a few good times.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“Not like it won’t heal in the next 5 minutes,” she teased, caressing the side of his face. It was a little bruise, she herself had pulled that punch but the force behind it, you would think she was mad at him for something.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Steve placed a hand on her lower back, glancing towards the corridors of the facility and pulling her closer. “I thought we agreed we wouldn’t be that rough with each other. You know it’s already hard for me to spar against you as is.”</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“I’m not sure why. I told you it’s best if we think of each other as teammates first and spouses second.” It's a tough task to remember but she’s willing to make it work and wants him to do the same. Even if one of the villains they’re fighting were to find out about their relationship, they’d use it to their advantage by taking ransom.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“I’m sure it’ll come to me eventually. Expect a few different outcomes the next time we get into it.”</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“I’ll be looking forward to it.” She yanked the top of his suit down and connected their lips.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>Natasha broke away from the kiss, having placed her hands onto his chest and pushing him away. Not shoving him, but nudging his body at a distance away from hers and she’s the one that’s looking at Steve confusedly.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He’s not sure where her disapproval or confusion sprouted from. And shouldn’t he be the one looking at her confusedly? “Are you okay?” He asked cautiously, reaching behind himself to turn the shower off.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Something’s not right and she could just feel it. She felt entirely off, not necessarily lightheaded or dizzy but just genuine and authentic confusion. One moment Steve would bet his life that he saw her give a familiar look. One that only his </span>
  <em>
    <span>wife</span>
  </em>
  <span> would give, but then it transferred back into confusion, throwing him off.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“No..” She answered him honestly, agreeing with his choice of turning the shower off because she pulled a towel off the rack and stepped out. “We need to see Dr.Cho now,” she ordered, trying not to appear frantic.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Why? Another glitch in the matrix?” Please don’t tell him this was yet another version of his wife. He can’t handle guessing how many Natasha’s he has to go through, just to meet the woman he’s been seeking.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Because I’m having flashbacks that aren’t mine,” she told him as she walked out the bathroom.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>With looking at him dazedly and not attacking him, it gave him the clue that the flashback was about him and her, if it wasn’t, Natasha probably would’ve been more open and shared it with him.</span>
</p><hr/><p>
  <span>One might think that instead of Bruce, Steve was Natasha’s fiancé and instead of Peggy, Natasha was Steve’s wife. Which wasn’t completely absurd because it’s relatable but it’s very well seen that Steve might have been getting a little ahead of himself. Nights and days are split half and half between the married couple, Steve’s beginning to spend most of his time in that damn—sex lair or whatever it was that Tony invented.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>And Steve’s aware of that. He’s made the attempts of comfortingly explaining to Peggy that he and Natasha are only trying to build a more friendly bond rather than an excruciatingly intimate one. Still, whenever he explains it in the way he finds the best, Peggy’s not one to want to sit around and hear it, instead she walks away.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Her walking away would annoy Steve sometimes, a level of annoyance he’s never had with her, but when it reaches its peak he’s going over to Natasha and telling the situation to her. Maybe it’s her actually listening that makes him grateful for her. Even back then she was a great listener, before they split that is. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>The way that she looked at him was expressing that she was truly invested in what he had to say and possibly provide a solution if needed. Perhaps it brought him peace or maybe he was desperate and delusional. Since he put things between them to bed, romantically, Natasha was the one that was acting cold towards him first and he knew he didn’t want it to be that way. But when Peggy came out the ice his feelings shifted and he doesn’t know how or why. Part of him didn’t even remember the woman going into the ice with him, it was just a blur.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>If he and Natasha couldn’t be together, he at least wanted them to remain friends because part of him did still need her. He’s found himself yearning after her and it wasn’t until she became committed to Bruce, where his own disliking came to play in, putting the hatchet on any possibilities of them even being able to acknowledge one another’s presence.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>But since this version of Natasha was brought here..it reminded him of what he and the redhead used to have, what they still could have if the stars aligned right. Hearing her stories of what it’s like back in her universe, he’s envious because everything sounded so perfect. So correct. It unlocks desires within himself to have what she has but he’s pulled back to the world he’s living in and the reality of it. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Steve waits until Peggy’s not switching earshot of their conversation anymore, having told her that he’d be with her in just a moment after discussing tomorrow’s regime with Natasha. Nervously, he scratches the back of his head as he stands next to her. “Hey..you’re not busy later, are you?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Natasha shrugged, not much she could do or has been doing other than staying in the facility trying to make things right in the world..literally. “Not exactly. Why do you ask?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I think I have a way to help you get back home.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Natasha smiled appreciatively, speaking a little more hushedly. “Look, Steve if it’s sex we’ve already tried that and nothing happened.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Not that, that’s not what I meant but—trust me on this one. It might not work greatly but progress is still to be made so.. I’ll see you in the room.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Natasha took a deep breath, not bothering to take heed of the resistful urges and gripped his shirt anyways. Not going after his lips but softly yanking him down to plant a small kiss on his cheek that swiftly turned red. She let go, Steve continuously staring at her even when she walked away. No matter what it’s like his eyes were always focused on her.</span>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>I know I promised a airport Christmas sequel but it didn’t fall through. It didn’t make sense so I didn’t bother publishing. I’ve got a better one shot though +plus defending James will start back up again</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0013"><h2>13. Chapter 13</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>This felt weird to him, but a good kind of weird, he didn’t mind it. Here he is, waiting for Natasha to appear instead spending a little more spare time with his wife. Honestly, as much as it bothers his brain to admit it, whenever it’s solely him and Natasha, Peggy doesn’t stride across his mind at all. It felt ironic considering when she first came out the ice he oddly couldn’t stop thinking about her, but now that he has some relations with Natasha, it doesn’t speak to him as much.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Wow would Peggy do unspeakable things to him if she found out he uses the term “relations” when referring to Natasha. But is he wrong? Peggy herself doesn’t even know about the history he and Natasha shared, if she does know, she makes it a top priority not to speak on it. Frankly, even with being on the same team he’s almost positive that his version of Natasha and Peggy have never said a single word to each other, even if they’re the only two in the room. Natasha was a master at giving people the cold shoulder and pretending that didn’t exist, Steve’s heart panged when she gave him that same treatment.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>It wasn’t until one day, he forcefully pulled her to the side and told her that she could be silent to him all she wants, but if she’s not responsive on a team mission and he’s frantically calling her name, that she ought to put their own complications aside and answer him. The risk of losing her would never be an option and he made that clear. Still, Natasha had shoved him aside and told him to stay away from her..if it wasn’t Avenger related, she doesn’t want him speaking to her.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Ugh..and to think they were having the times of their lives a year before Peggy came into the picture. Steve shakes the thoughts from his head, that’s not something he should be thinking about when it comes to his wife. Before she came into the picture? Steve sighed frustratedly, come on..he’s better than that.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Steve eyes shot towards the entrance when Natasha came through the door, he turned back to what he had been doing for a minute before dusting his shirt off and then wiping his hands with a rag. “Hey, you finally made it.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Natasha was going to provide a response until she found he was extremely close to her, leaning in and lightly pecking her lips. That was something she expected her husband to do and Steve is her husband but in an entirely different sense. When his lips were off hers they’re both sharing the same slightly shocked look. “Hi?” She responded, not sure when’s the last time they’ve kissed since she’s been here. “Is your big idea in order?” Deciding not to bring up the kiss because going off his facial expressions, there’s not a doubt in her mind he wouldn’t know what the hell to say.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Steve looked along sheepishly, scratching the back of his head and motioning towards the kitchen. “Just about, we’ve got a couple minutes though.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I see.” There was a familiar scent in the air, one that she knew all too well. “And your brilliant idea is dinner?” Wine glasses set out, the smell of food in the air and what, a conversation between them? That was supposed to help her situation?</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Steve made an edgy noise, “Well, not exactly. I figured if I tell you a little bit about us..Us being me and your other half I guess. Something inside you might click. I haven’t put to use the theory that old memories might help you so I decided to give it a shot.” And he was far down the court from making anything because this was a big decision on his end. Peggy doesn’t exist in her universe yet he gets the feeling Natasha’s bitter about it. That back in her world, she knows ABOUT the relationship that he and Peggy USED to have but it wasn’t a current relationship for her. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“And the dinner is what? For decoration?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Just a nice gesture.” Something he’s learned so far is neither of them are a really big fan of sitting. There’s about only 3 times out of the day where they actually sit, other than that they’re always on their feet. “Anyways, give or take we have a very—complex history.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I could’ve guessed that,” she walked about the counter around him, picking up one of the glasses of wine. “Nothing about us screams simple. Not in this world, not in my world and not in the next.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah, but it’s a little deeper than you may expect.” He probably should’ve put out something stronger than a glass of moscato. White wine isn’t going to get anyone to relax but he’s entrusting her to keep her cool. “Nat..you and I, we had this little—fling.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Natasha paused in drinking and took a hard swallow. A fling? “Huh..” she puffed out. A </span>
  <em>
    <span>fling</span>
  </em>
  <span> and he’s married to </span>
  <em>
    <span>her</span>
  </em>
  <span>, </span>
  <em>
    <span>another</span>
  </em>
  <span> woman, but in reference to herself calls it a fling.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“But it was amazing!” Steve added quickly in an attempt to carefully re-state her words. “We connected, we understood each other beyond beliefs and you opened up to me, and I was honored to be one of the people you could trust.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Right,” She said, no longer looking at him. Is this what divorce is like? If she and Steve were to ever divorce would she have to hear this speech?</span>
</p><p>
  <span> It felt like he was saying his apology to the Natasha he actually wronged and this is about as close as it gets. Still, he feels like he’s wronged this Natasha as well. “Things were going great until, you know, Peggy came into my life and my feelings kind of transferred to her.” Natasha tilted her head to the side and subtly squinted her eyes at him. “It wasn’t anything personal, I promise you.” It felt like he was breaking up with her all over again, this aching feeling. Saying words were one thing but it felt like what he was saying now held no meaning.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>This was why she holds this feeling of unworthiness when being romantically involved with Steve. Because her past is filthy, bloody, demonic. It wasn’t until she was 23 when she took a different path. Steve’s been a good guy all his life, always fighting for the right team, he deserves a good woman, a woman with a clean history, was that why he went to Peggy? And if her Steve was presented with the opportunity to be with Peggy again would he take it?</span>
</p><p>
  <span>She said something under her breath but Steve couldn’t quite make out what it was she said. “What’s that?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I said you’re predictable...Part of me, a good chunk of it..I’m always curious as to how you would react if she were to come back into your life. Now I know. Nothing stops you from being with her-”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Our situation isn’t the same. I don’t have a son with you in this world. Peggy didn’t come back in your world-“</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“And that’s what I’m trying to say, Steve.” She felt like this should be a conversation saved for the man she kissed at the aisle because he’s right in a way, the situation is different so she needs to hear </span>
  <em>
    <span>her</span>
  </em>
  <span> Steve’s answer. She needs to hear his honesty, she needs proof that he wouldn’t go anywhere but with his other half, alternate universe, whatever the hell you’d call it..with this Steve telling her he’s made the decision of leaving her for Peggy, it did absolutely nothing for her confidence or those insecurities.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What is it about her? I want to know what it is that makes you go to her?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Steve sighed, shaking his head with a shrug. It’s not that he’s at a loss for words, he just genuinely didn’t know the answer. It’s like he said, feelings just transferred, he didn’t know what it was or why it happened. It felt mechanical, not at all authentic. “I don’t know. I mean what I said when I say that being with you was everything. You were everything.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“But I wasn’t enough.” She understands why her counterbeing was cold to him. Why he felt relieved to be talking to her and being around her because the other Natasha does everything in her power to stay away from him apparently and she clearly sees why now. Had this happened to her, Natasha would’ve done the same thing and in that way they were similar. When it comes to Steve their feelings and emotions were possibly the most comparable thing to them.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m not sure what you were trying to achieve with this little conversation,” she motioned her hand between both her and Steve. “But it didn’t work. In fact I feel it’s best if you do go and spend this night with </span>
  <em>
    <span>your</span>
  </em>
  <span> wife.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>She’s not looking him in the eyes anymore and Steve could tell that played a big part on whether she meant what she said or not. “Is that really what you want.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Other than going home it’s the only thing I want. Seriously.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Steve nodded, backing away from her, looking on apologetically. Her eyes were watering from what he could see which was why she wasn’t looking at him. Steve understands, he’d give her space.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>But he’d be back, because part of him can’t find it in himself to leave her again.</span>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0014"><h2>14. Chapter 14</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>Natasha wanted to be aggravated when she woke up in the middle of the night and felt Steve come into the room and lay down but she couldn’t get mad at him. It’s her emotions that she feels for him and she’s not sure if it’s connected with the feelings she has for her real husband instead of his alternate universe version. But once she felt that weight on the bed, knowing that he came back after she explained that she wanted him gone so her thoughts can be gathered? Bittersweet. The action was nice in her eyes but emotionally she’s not sure how to deal with the knowledge of Steve being married to his first love when he admitted to having a relationship with Natasha.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>A relationship that he said himself was going great. And he left her, it was like a nightmare for her and Natasha didn’t even experience it. Her alternate self must be distancing herself from Steve and James, she could only imagine what her son must be feeling right now and how hard Steve is trying to make things right. There’s nothing more she’d ask for than to get the opportunity to hold her son. Hear him say mommy, feel him tap her leg to get her attention, she misses it all so much but she’s trying to be strong but even that’s becoming challenging.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Oh god she remembers when he was born, the best day of her life and his birth was a miracle but so was her husband’s reproductive tract. The serum affected him in more ways than one. It didn’t matter if it made him taller, or stronger or faster. His semen was more—high yielding, and for him to be able to get her pregnant after the red room’s procedure, her son’s birth meant a lot more to her than anyone would understand. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Steve held relentless amounts of affection and love in her heart that it’s probably one of the reasons she’s calming down on the situation but still can’t quite find it in herself to forgive him fully for this. The thought of knowing that this man provided her with a child was a strong factor in her not pushing him out this bed.</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Natasha kissed James' stomach multiple times, holding one of his hands in hers and watching as the baby giggled happily. He’s only 7 months and has such an infectious laugh. His cheeks were turned a rosy red and he only has a few baby teeth and whenever she sees that smile of his, her world brightens instantly.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Steve watched along grinning, holding their son’s other hand and becoming entertained by that same laugh their son had released, following up with a burp and hyperly kicking his feet, letting out little mumbled and grunts as he tried to speak. “Man, he really is cute,” Steve said in awe, tapping the little boy’s nose.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Natasha couldn’t help but agree, this had to be the cutest baby in history, his eyes are enough to light up a room alone, his laugh could put a smile on their face instantly. Maybe they’re just both suckers for this kid and he has impacted their day-to-day lives greatly, but neither of them cared. That’s how they liked it.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Being protective of him wasn’t a question, especially in their line of business. He has his own nursery but they’re more comfortable with having him sleep in their room most nights. They always have an eye on him, their days are spent gelling into the transition of becoming parents. </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“You did a good job Rogers. You’ve got some good genes,” Natasha teased caressing her husband’s chin, James now teething on one of his toys.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“You can thank my mom for that one,” he took lightly, not wanting to include the mention of his abusive father. He looked down at his son and squinted his eyes. “Mmm, he’s got your eye-shape if you look hard enough.”</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Natasha rolled her eyes with her own look of appreciation-</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>Natasha furrowed her brows in a confused manner when she felt Steve turn around and spoon her from behind.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>His lips were barely brushing her neck, she could feel his breath land against her, along with the sound of him softly snoring. Natasha wanted to say she heard him mumble her name in his sleep but figured it was all in her head. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Either way..she didn’t push him away. It felt like years since she’s been held like this by him and wanted to relish it anyways. Have it feel like her husband was actually holding her if it were just for one night. </span>
</p><hr/><p>
  <span>“Tell me about your dream.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It wasn’t a dream. I wasn’t staring off into space or sleeping when it happened, it just came to me. It wasn’t a dream, it was a flashback.” And Natasha was slowly becoming pissed off at these thoughts being able to infiltrate and boggle her mind. It felt to her like she was stealing her counterparts' visions and memories and she didn’t want that. This wasn’t her life, she didn’t want to steal it away. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Steve was interested in the information as well, wiping his thumb on his chin in a forward and back motion. “What did you see?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You. And I’m assuming we just got finished training or working out with each other. We had this conversation of you finding it hard to treat me as your teammate instead of your wife.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Steve listened intently, directing his gaze at the floor for a moment. “We’ve definitely had plenty of conversations like that one,” he mumbled, “What would this mean? If she’s seeing old memories that we shared together does that mean progress is being made or what? How long until everything goes back to normal?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Dr.Cho only gave off an increasingly patientless shrug of her shoulders. This wasn’t like anything she’s ever seen before, these were her colleagues but they were also friends of hers, she doesn’t want to give them any wrong information. “I-I wish I can give a specific time frame but I’m genuinely not sure. As for your visions and flashback because you’re in another version of your body but your mind remains the same, it may be a natural reaction with your brain’s stimuli and nervous system. The more your mind starts to get filled with memories of your past life, your body reacts to it and creates those flashbacks. I want to say that’s a good thing but I’m truly unsure.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The more and more Steve and the environment around her feeds all these events and milestones in her life, the more her body becomes used to it. “And what about the voices? Whenever I’m around James, I hear a little voice saying ‘mommy’ and it only gets louder the more affection I show to him.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Steve raised a brow. That was new, she’s never told him that. Is that why there’s times where she moves away from the little boy without reasoning, you could tell there’s something on her mind.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Mommy? Is that the only thing?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“That’s the only thing. It feels nostalgic like it’s been there forever but it started a week ago.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Dr.Cho looked as though she knew the answer but once again was unsure of whether it’s what was really happening or not. “Has it even dawned upon you that it’s possible your thoughts and visions may be connected to your counterbeings?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Connected?” Steve questioned. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Meaning if the other Natasha is reminiscent of James and her life here, it may become overwhelming to the point where her memories get sent to the body that she’s used being in.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>So she misses it here? Well that was obvious, if she lived this life, she’d miss it too. And this Natasha had the opportunity to have this life but it was all taken away from her due to different circumstances. It makes her wonder how the other Natasha is handling being around her husband and having Peggy around. She doesn’t want her to go through that, the same thing she went through. She belonged to her, this was her life and Natasha was determined to get it back to her.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Natasha walked away, on a mission for any kind of idea to come into her mind. If the memories were working then she’d need a broader perspective than both Steve and James, she needed views from other people who knew her for this long of time.</span>
</p><p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0015"><h2>15. Chapter 15</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>“Could you please not run off like that? We’re not all spies, it’s hard to keep track of you, you know?” Especially with carrying their son after Steve made a pit-stop to pick James up from the daycare upstairs.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You’re Captain America aren’t you?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“And?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>She stepped in front of him, making Steve come to a stop. “Keep up,” She said and kept walking, Steve faithfully walking beside her.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>James picked his head up from his dad’s shoulder and pointed towards his mom, making a continuous clenching motion with his hand towards her with a low mumble of her name. One that Natasha closed her eyes for a moment and then opened them, continuing in the direction of Fury’s workspace.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You’re really going to do that to him? He’s a kid Nat, he may cause you to have some visions but you don’t need to ignore him.” Steve was so used to Natasha hugging and kissing the little boy. Engaging in baby talk with him. He’d never get used to the action of her blatantly ignoring their son.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Coming from knowing how much of a protective mother she is, it even hurts him to see that kind of thing. Though he understands her situation is different, she could at least play the part of a mom for the sake of the little boy and not have his world crushed because his mom is acting differently and he can tell. He’s extremely smart for a 2 year old, able to detect his parents voice and moods. Knowing when they’re upset or happy.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Whenever they were upset with each other, which wasn’t often, but when it happens, James finds it best to sleep in their bed for the night. Whatever Steve and Natasha had been angry about would be gone within minutes as they both hold their little baby boy in between them. James takes full advantage of the situation and enjoys being babied and spoiled by his parents.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You mommy,” James called out and reached out for his mom. He was trying to say that it had been her attention he’s been trying to bear but he thought she couldn’t hear him so he had to specify.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Natasha gently held her eyes closed at the voice of the little boy, it’s hard to ignore when he’s right next to her, as well as in her head. She thinks about him more than she tends to realize and Natasha finds that alone to be both upsetting and heartwarming. He’s cute, very adorable, she’d give him that. It’s a pleasure seeing what her and Steve’s son would look like, for some reason it felt like it brought her intense closure. If things had been different back in her world this is the kind of life she could’ve lived.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>James continued to reach out for her with tears starting to form in his eyes. Natasha pushed the migraine aside and one that was soon to come out of her head. She pulled him from Steve’s arms, the little boy finding immediate comfort and happiness. He was also apparently pretty dramatic because as soon as Natasha brought him into her arms, the whining stopped, the crying stopped, the calling for mommy stopped and he smiled while tightly holding onto her, not wanting to let go. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Her holding him wouldn’t be long lasting because as soon as she would reach Fury’s office, she’d need to put him down and bring focus on the man; get a sense of more memories and see if they would connect with anything she’s experienced so far. Steve’s just glad that she made the attempt. It was satisfying for both him and James whenever Natasha holds their son. “His office is just up ahead. What are you hoping to find out anyways?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Anything. He knows me well back in my universe. If he can tell me something about my time during shield then it might bring back more memories.” She gets the feeling that everytime a vision happens, it brings her a step closer to getting where she needs to be. Like maybe her visions are her mind’s way of trying to switch back with the other Natasha. The more memories and recollection of her past life she receives, the more visions she’d get until her mind is finally switched back into her old body.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>It’s always an interesting topic for Steve. How she says back in her universe, it’s weird but interesting, like he’s aware of what happened between her and his alternate self,but what else was there to know about them. Surely there had to have been some really good memories and not just bad ones between him and her, or if she spent most of her time trying to erase him from her existence unless they were out saving the world.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>It’s something he’d ask later on but for right now their motive was to get to Fury. Steve took liberty in opening the door, having his finger get scanned before he did, the AI device recognizing his fingerprint and automatically unlocking the door after he punched in the code.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Natasha couldn’t resist but rolling her eyes, of course Fury would go through so many means of security to get the door opened. Her heart readied to see the man she considers to be a father-figure in her life but by the way Steve’s shoulder’s sunk down Natasha already knew the answer of his whereabouts before he even turned back around to her. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“He’s not here..” She finished for him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Steve scrambled over a couple words before finally coming to the right ones. “I’m sorry, Nat.” He should’ve called ahead or maybe went and asked F.R.I.D.A.Y about his location instead of wasting 20 minutes of their time coming here. That may not have seemed like a lot but Steve could tell by her stature she’s becoming impatient over what she was brought into. Looking for a way out and back to something she can call normal..It’s regular with her..it’s something she’d often do when they first met. He can’t count how many times she attempted to step away from being an avenger so she can focus strictly on a less foreign environment like shield.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Clint may have brought her to shield but Steve’s the one that brought her into being a superhero after she was ready to leave it all. He’s brought her back once, he can do it again. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You don’t have to apologize,” Natasha said. What could she expect, he’s the head of this place, of course he’d be elsewhere 90% of the time, but still it was kind of disappointing. He had a big impact in her life, it honestly would’ve helped out a lot she’s sure if he’d be here.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Hell, there’s a lot of layers to that man, he’d probably know the actual answer on how to get things back to how they once were. And still of course, because age is also an aspect of his being? He travels without a phone. He’s not married, what else would anyone expect of him?</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“He’s not the only one here that can help.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Natasha rolled her eyes. “Other than you, he’s the only one that’s known me for a great period of time. Unless Barton is hiding out in a bathroom somewhere there’s not much anyone here can do for me.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I wouldn’t underestimate them.” Steve said, taking note of how James silently fell asleep in her hold, looking extremely at peace and reluctant to let go of his mom. “You’d be surprised over how much you’ve gotten close to these seemingly insignificant people.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>She looked at him in obvious disbelief. It didn’t happen back in her universe other than with Bruce. She highly doubts her other half made friends with any of these people, let alone tell things they’ve experienced back in the red room. “Really?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span> “Don’t believe me?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Well obviously not.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Stubborn. He likes to think she gets that from him but his influence hadn't really played that much a role on her. His Natasha or not, there’s nothing he loves more than proving her wrong and putting her doubts to the test. “I’ll show you. We didn’t make the entire team his godparents for no reason.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>There’s a lot that can be learned in the years they’ve been here. And trust and believe they’re not just strangers or teammates.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>They were family.</span>
</p><p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Only long chapters from here on out with the story coming to a close!</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0016"><h2>16. Chapter 16</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>“Is he always so full of energy?” Natasha questioned, raising a brow. He was sleeping in her arms not too long ago but as soon as they reached common grounds he yawned (adorably) woke up and started running around with a cape around his back.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Only after he takes his little catnap. You’ve seen him in the mornings, starts off sluggish and then puts his energy into good use.” Steve’s not sure where he gets it from either. Whether it’s from just being a toddler experiencing new things or if some of the serum he inherited affected how much energy is being stored inside his son’s body. Whatever James decides to do later in life, whether it’s take over the shield for his parent’s legacy or play a sport, he just hopes he uses his talents to the best of his ability.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>James continued running around with his cape and toy, occasionally coming over to his parents to use their legs as little obstacle courses that his action figure had to jump over. Each time he made his way to them, Steve wonders what kinds of things Natasha would hear because he knows that voice is appearing in her head again. Was it just James saying “mommy” or does she hear his voice as well? </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Natasha wants to say she’s gotten used to it but she really hasn’t. It’s only been two weeks and James has been alive for 2 years, she’s not used to a child referring to her as their mother at all. Steve calling her his wife was bittersweet given the fact that they used to have an intimate relationship but it came to an abrupt stop, it didn’t go as far as becoming a public couple, let alone ending up in marriage. She also wants to feel this disdain for him that she felt early on but it’s just not happening anymore because part of her felt like he doesn’t deserve it. Not this Steve at least, he didn’t leave her, but then again Natasha thought her Steve wouldn’t leave her as well and look how that turned out, whenever it came to Peggy she felt as though she couldn't compete and Natasha didn’t want to.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>When she thinks of what she has with Bruce in comparison to what she had with Steve it feels artificial and it’s something she hates to look back on. She’s had so many dreams about him, intimate, horrific, gorey, romantic, all of these occurring mostly while she was laying directly beside Bruce. It gets to the point sometimes that she feels like there wouldn’t be any involvement with someone that would even come close to receiving what she and Steve shared and it felt like complete bullshit. If the universe allows him to move on and get married to his past love why can’t she do the same? Was it because Steve was the one guy whom she felt such strong feelings for, or were things just supposed to fall apart for her? Was it wrong for her to love, that the one time she genuinely felt the affection it gets stripped away from her?</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Steve leaned back against the couch they had been sitting on while waiting for the entire team to arrive. He doesn’t doubt that Natasha knows he’s been looking at it. It was more of an analytical stare rather than a concerned one although his concern is still present. If there was a way to figure out what she was thinking he’d really appreciate it. She maintains all his respect in the world but still, even he gets curious about what crosses her mind, now more than ever. Could Bruce have been a constant thought for her? He doesn’t even want to recall the time she kissed him when she first woke up, it’s just not something he could even stand to see let alone think about. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He finds her eyes to be following James around, their son would put together sentences to say to her, but Natasha doesn’t respond. It didn’t bother their son, it wasn’t exactly questions he was asking, just small little “Look mommy’s” and little laughs he’d do while looking at her.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“He’s always preferred your attention more. Mama’s boy for sure, you were his first words.” Her eyes were still on James, as if she wanted to remember him wherever she goes.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“His room says otherwise, looks like it’s dedicated to you more than me.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Steve shrugged, “Only cause he’s a boy, trust me there was a layout of his room with your face on it had we ended up with a girl.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>And he’s still saying “we” as if she’s the wife he was accustomed to for the past whatever amount of years. “Let me ask you something.” She hopes he won’t take offense to it because she is truthfully curious. “If you...if you were to have a baby with Peggy and you both had a boy..would you name him James?” Last she remembers, Peggy’s pregnant at the moment and she and Steve had a gender reveal which Natasha completely avoided, taking on any mission that was available at the time and forced Clint to be her partner..not even he was aware of her and Steve’s relationship, or at least she doesn’t think so.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Where’s this coming from?” Steve asked, just by how hard it was for her to complete the sentence he could tell it was a serious question, one that was difficult for her to ask because she believed it would be too much for him to answer. If it annoyed her to ask, why even bother putting herself through that kind of emotional and mental strain? “You know they call it past love for a reason? Right, Nat?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“They also call it first love too. A much more common title.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Not in my case,” Steve shot back quickly. There’s not much he can do to allow her to realize that he holds zero kinds of feelings for a woman in his past because it felt like she was practically traumatized by him and Peggy being a real thing in her world. “Was she my first love? Partially.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Oh so now it’s partially,” she chuckled bitterly, looking in front of them again, her eyes landing back on James who was letting his imagination run wild with his stuffed animals. “If you partially loved her then why call it love at all?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“That’s not what I’m trying to say. I mean that I loved her sure, but I was more infatuated with the idea of falling in love with somebody. She struck me as someone in command and knew what she wanted in life and times were different back then. It was the 40’s women weren’t in control but she was..I don’t know.. different from the rest. Being a housewife wasn’t on her agenda. I thought that falling in love with someone like that was best to do.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Of all people why did it have to be her. Why did those feelings have to be reciprocated on both ends, look at all they could’ve had if-..Natasha doesn’t want to be reminiscent over anything that’s not in her control anymore, there’s no way she could’ve manipulated Steve’s feelings, not then and not when she gets back to her world either.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Was it love at first sight?” She asked again to try and get something, anything out of him. He’s handled all the other questions well so far, like they didn’t bother him, and he does so a little willingly too,as if he’s not afraid of answering at all. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Steve rubbed his hands across his chin. That’s a good question, not even he knows and since he doesn’t know there’s only really one answer. “No. More of a crush. That feeling you get when you first see someone, it felt silly to me because I was so small at the time too so it didn’t seem very realistic to me.” A crush was probably the best way to describe it anyways, everything else was a little far fetched. “I guess for me...love at first sight wasn’t anything I experienced until I saw you.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Natasha scoffed, “Shut up.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m serious, I know it sounds cheesy, trust me you’ve told me plenty of times before. It probably wasn’t love at first sight but it was definitely love at first experience..you should’ve seen the look on my face when you asked me to hoist you up into ongoing alien air traffic during the chitauri attack.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“And?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“</span>
  <em>
    <span>And</span>
  </em>
  <span> I was surprised to find out you weren’t dating anybody. Relieved, but surprised nonetheless.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Relieved huh..” The way he speaks makes it seem like she lost her memories and not switched minds. They’re still the same person just not exactly. Why couldn't theSteve back in her world keep these thoughts in mind, or maybe she’s just getting in over her head. He’s probably saying these things because it’s what he wants to believe would actually happen.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Now that he’s thinking back on all that they’ve been through a smile graced his face as he rested his head back on the couch, looking up fondly. “You have your fair share of dominance though. On our 3rd date I think, you were the one that brought me in for a kiss.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Natasha stepped off the elevator, Steve right behind her, they were greeted to an empty common area, much to Steve’s pleasure, he’s been trying to make his move all night but it’s hard when attempting to court a woman. He also still has the word ‘court’ in his vocabulary when referring to relationships so that alone was challenging to process. Steve took his jacket off and set it down on a nearby chair, following Natasha into the kitchen. </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“Are you willing to stay down here for a couple drinks or is your age catching up to you?” Natasha teased, erupting a blush and a grin from Steve that made her smile. It’s so easy to make him blush and he allows her teasing and flirtatious behavior to happen. She would even go as far as saying he enjoys it.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“I think I’ll stay. Someone has to keep you company.” He leaned his back against the one of the counters, watching her prep the drinks.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Natasha inhaled a small breath of air, “And you think you’re the right person for that?”</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>A simple sentence from her is enough to throw him off because he’s not sure how to answer or if it’s a rhetorical question, one that’s best off without a response but only increases the thick tension he can sense is filling the room. His mind tried to formulate some kind of reply but it ultimately was left unanswered as he was too busy becoming hypnotized by her movement around the kitchen and how she easily made the drinks, almost like it was second nature for her to move without flaw.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>She handed him a glass and found his cautious behavior of sniffing it amusing. “Negroni,” she told him, letting him know what it was. “One part gin, one part vermouth, zero parts poison.”</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Steve took a sip of it, letting the flavors fill his taste buds and becoming taken aback by how savory it was. “Wasn’t expecting that.”</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“Not sure if you can handle what I typically drink on a night like this.”</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“A date night?” He questioned with a coyly raised brow, Natasha seemingly appreciating his banter and reciprocating in everything.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“This is a date?”</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“Our 3rd one but who’s counting?”</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>He’s capable of being brave and just as flirty as she is but maybe hers is a little more suggestive rather than playful and it makes him blush and gets his palms a little sweaty but he likes to hear it from her. Likes to have her attention and for her to notice his very obvious intrigue in how she acts around him. If he’s being honest with himself he feels rather flattered when she stops a conversation with someone in order to speak to him or at least acknowledge his presence, so maybe it’s something about her specifically, noticing him that makes him react so bashfully.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Steve hadn’t realized he was looking at the floor until he noticed a prolonged period of quietness, when his eyes were brought back up he saw how her glass was nearly finished, and how she was in front of him, making his heart stop beating for a moment, setting his own drink aside.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Natasha noticed how he swallowed hardly, wanting to say something but being unable to for whatever reason. He’s possibly the most predictable man she’s ever been introduced to yet she still can’t exactly figure him out like she wants to.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Steve didn’t protest when her hand went behind his neck, bringing him in closer, he allowed the alcohol to do its job and calmed him down almost entirely. Feeling this rush of blood go to his face when her lips connected with his. It lasted for a noble amount and time and Natasha didn’t want to go as far as using tongue..not yet anyways. But she just wanted to give him a small taste. </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Pulling away and watching as Steve had been eyeing her lips once the kiss was over.</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I really was a nervous wreck back then huh..” Pretty embarrassing and still somewhat sweet to think about considering how much confidence he’s gained around her since then, a little more comfort rather than cockiness. “I remember the drink too, it was great, it was a..uh-”</span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>“Negroni,” Natasha answered for him, Steve turning to her in slight surprise.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah..how’d you know?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Natasha aimed to respond that she’s not sure, it just came out but they were interrupted by the sound of the elevator opening, revealing the likes of their teammates. She’s still having a hard time believing her other half would ever tell these people what they’ve endured during their upbringing.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Sorry we’re late, an agent brought in a bunch of donuts, but don’t worry we snagged you two some and a couple munchkin for your little munchkin,” Tony said surprisingly audibly considering he was holding a donut in his mouth while his arms carried two boxes of pastries. “So, where do we begin?”</span>
</p><hr/><p>
  <span>Steve continuously kept trying to get past the fact that this wasn’t the old Natasha so them sharing a bed doesn’t hold the same amount of weight as it once would’ve. There’s no worries about her possibly killing him..he doesn’t think. No not at all, they’re married in her world.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Married. Steve looked at the woman sleeping in his arms, her red hair falling onto both his chest and the pillow. He made the decision on his own accord to stay the night and he doesn’t even know why, it wasn’t an obligation but he wanted to be there anywhere. Was it his way of attempting to right his wrongs of the past? He’d like to think so, but then the question of was he wrong for leaving her arises and the answer is almost a definite yes and he’s not sure how to feel about it. Guilty or ashamed for leading her own and practically abandoning her; both. Steve knows deep down it’s not like him at all to do something like that.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He didn’t even give her a warning, oh god that was disrespectful, he doesn’t blame her for her lack of affection and emotion, especially after he’s seen just how loving and caring she could be and didn’t express that to a lot of people and he didn’t take advantage of it like he should’ve.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>It amazed him how one person, one past relationship could bring so much drama and make things completely different. Steve’s not even sure if he and Peggy counted as a past relationship. They weren’t necessarily together and didn’t exactly do..well anything other than a kiss. An apology was in order for Natasha and he never gave it to her because it was far too late and far too heartwrenching on her end no matter how hard she tried to deny it, he could see right through her.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Now he has to relish in the feeling of having them be on neutral terms with her other being because this is really as civil as it gets. Sharing the same bed and having her unconsciously go into his arms in the middle of the night. After experiencing this though, Steve fears that he won’t be able to handle Natasha ignoring him like she once did.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Steve felt her shift awake, making her subtle movement and inhaling deeply.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Natasha wakes up to find herself comfortably in his hold. She knows this isn’t the Steve she’s used to but she misses him and this is literally as close as it gets to seeing him, hearing him, being near him. She’s still upset about yesterday but he’s here and she wanted to make the most of it, no matter how selfish it may come off. Natasha moved her finger along his abdomen boredly, half-mindedly.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>She could tell he’s awake and hurriedly trying to piece together the right words for her in an attempt to explain himself but she doesn’t want to hear it right now. She doesn’t want to be reminded that he’s married to Peggy. For a moment and moment only, she wants to just pretend like things are back to normal or else she’d become manic for being out of her familiar environment for such a prolonged period of time.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Her fingers weren’t exactly moving towards an inappropriate area but Steve still was reacting the wrong way. Trying to get rid of those intrusive thoughts before-</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He closed his eyes tightly in partial embarrassment and annoyance over his body's reaction. There’s absolutely no way she couldn’t see that bulge protruding beneath the covers and Steve didn’t know what to say or how to feel. She hadn’t even done anything worth getting an erection out of him, all she did was cascade her hand around his chest. “I’m sorry,” he murmured, not willing to open his eyes.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Except his heart rate sped up and his mind began racing a mile a minute when he felt her body slide down a bit, disappearing under the covers. He should stop this, this shouldn’t happen, it wasn’t right. Steve couldn’t seem to have his heart and mind agree on what to do. His mind kept telling him to stop this before this head into uncharted territory but his heart felt as though he longed for this to be happening forever.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Steve swallowed hardly when he felt a small kiss near his pelvis and her hands pull his boxers down a little, feeling a bit of air touch him. “N-nat maybe we-” Steve felt his words get knocked out of him completely when her mouth enclosed around him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Steve hand reaching over to a pillow, gripping it tightly and eyes becoming half-lidded to the point where he could barely see the figure on him, rhythmically moving in an up and down motion.</span>
</p><p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0017"><h2>17. Chapter 17</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>Steve let out one last grunt. Natasha could hear him whisper a silent curse under his breath and swore she felt a faint kiss planted on her shoulder when he pulled out. Steve picked his head up from where it rested on her body. For the first time since this happened, their eyes connected and it felt different on Steve’s end. Forgetting where he was and only feeling what just happened between them. Natasha thought he’d move off from on top of her but he just continued to look at her. His lip quivered as though he wanted to say something, she gave him an expression for him to say what he needed but it was too late.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>His lips were on hers again. Natasha wasn’t sure what to think of it, her eyes stayed open for a second before inevitably falling closed. Kind of like how Steve probably wasn’t sure what to think of her giving him a blowjob earlier but slowly melted into everything. The kiss wasn’t necessarily light either, although it wasn’t hard enough to bruise her lips either. The slightest inch of his tongue and a soft nibble. Steve’s brain was completely powerless at this moment and continued to follow what his heart was screaming at him to do.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>If you were to ask him who Peggy was or if he’s married he wouldn’t be able to give you an answer, he was completely blank, the only thing he knew right now was Natasha and the sensation of kissing her, being like this with her. It brought back so many old memories for him while his most recent ones seemed to be trashed and forgotten, being overwhelmed with how life used to be when he and Natasha shared moments like this. Back then it felt like it couldn’t get any better and it feels like this now.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Natasha moved her hands from the sides of his neck and down towards his chest, giving him a little push away, enough to break the kiss, when their lips parted they both noticed how out of breath they appeared. For a quick glance he incorporated the same mannerisms as her own Steve and she thought she was back home but it quickly subsided making her a tad bit concerned over what she just saw or what she thinks she just saw. Her thoughts floated away when it was assumed that Steve got the hint and moved beside her on the bed. Not a word or sound other than a small exhale on his end.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>It was like getting to an itch that was irritating her for weeks, finally having scratched it. It was satisfying, it wasn’t love making, no. But it was..something. Wasn’t as passionate as it is with the Steve she’s used to but it was one hell of a close second. It kind of felt like she did it to get rid of her irritation and Steve went along with it because he felt like he needed to or perhaps he wanted to. Natasha still can’t believe she thought she was back home, but after they kissed it kinda felt like it.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>There was a moment when they were about to start having sex where she paused, asking him if he wanted this to stop and he didn’t provide her with a ‘yes’ or ‘no’ just leaned in to kiss her...which essentially makes this even more confusing. Why did he kiss her? What made him continue? Her feelings and emotions overflowing her from missing her marriage. She’d admit her excuse wasn’t morally right but what was his reasoning?</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Natasha exhaled deeply while Steve eased his breath to its normal pace. Glancing at him and wondering what was going through his mind, for a guy that’s an open book he’s hard to read right now. What does looking up at the ceiling with one hand on his chest mean?</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The hand was clenched, Natasha soon realizing his wedding band had been on that hand. Mentally debating about what just happened. She should’ve considered how this would’ve affected him and his marriage to Peggy...Selfishness was an understatement, they were supposed to have met with the other Avengers half an hour ago but they spent a good sum of that time doing—yeah. She’ll admit that the moment was nice while it lasted, a true connection she wants to say but the aftermath of it wasn’t something she particularly brought to mind.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Steve-”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I…” Steve started, looking at his ring and feeling his mind slowly come back towards him, those memories he felt being trashed were now infiltrating his thought process. He remembers who Peggy is, he remembers them being married. “Don’t know why that happened.” Steve can’t exactly bring himself to admit that it wasn’t something he wanted to happen because not even he could lie to himself like that but looking at the ring on his hand that was connected to his partner he felt as though this shouldn’t have happened, especially since they weren’t ordered to do so, they were just going off their own pleasures. “I don’t think it should have happened honestly.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You’re being anything but honest with yourself if you’re looking at it in that light.” Was this some sort of after regret? Why does one quick glance at the band on his finger give him the idea that he wasn’t acting on his own accord. When they had sex the first time and his ring was off he wasn’t thinking like this, now all of sudden he’s behaving like it has some sort of power that alters his thought process. “Steve, not only did you seem pretty willing before, including after I asked you if you wanted this to stop, you’re the one that climbed into this bed last night.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I don’t know why I did it, I just felt like I had to.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You didn’t have to and you still don’t.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Steve looked at her as well, catching onto what she was saying. Natasha watched as he made a motion beneath the covers to pull both his underwear and pants back on. He wasn’t frustrated or upset. Happy nor sad or confused, he was moving like some kind of robot. As he wasn’t affected by any of this. She wants to say it’s stunning but she really doesn’t know what to make of it. His behavior was weird before but it just became even weirder. One moment he wants to be there and help her and the next moment his mind is back on Peggy and this kind of situation always takes place whenever they inch closer to being intimate or caring for another.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>What’s preventing him from picking a mood and just sticking to it. He ditches Peggy multiple nights to be with her and then when it reaches its peak, or near to it, he’s back to being the loving husband he wants to portray himself as, artificial, forget her thoughts before he was as easy to read as they come. A day or two from now he’ll appear at her door again, wanting to be invited in as if nothing ever happened and tell her more things about the past but it was enough, she can’t keep her feeling as if she's reliving the same days over and over again. Whatever Steve was going through in this world was affecting her from getting back to hers and she knows it, but according to the professionals he’s a key factor in getting her back to where she needs to be.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Natasha didn’t bother questioning Steve even as he left, sliding his shirt back on and walking out the door. Unless he planned on coming back for his wallet she’s not telling him he left it right there on the stand where he once laid. Her curiosity got the best of her and Natasha found herself leaning over to pick the object up, it was suspiciously light, it was weird because her husband packs his entire life into his wallet. She flipped the leather open, seeing it was empty..okay.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Every crevice of it was empty, except for a section of it where his money was supposed to go, she felt a thin yet glossy feeling item inside, pulling it out and revealing it to be a picture of..her?</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Her as in Natasha, or the other Natasha she presumes. It was just this one lone object inside, what was he keeping it away in here for? This wasn’t exactly the most convenient place to keep it. Then again, he probably didn’t expect people to just go inside his personal property, but does it really matter since there's a photo of herself inside of here? Does Peggy know this was in here? Most likely not, why would she? If she did know, Natasha has a feeling she’d be hearing about it right now.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Looking at this photo it feels like it was taken by Steve himself..she looks so happy here, modern and vintage. The clothes were up to date but the color was in black and white and it seemed as though snow was falling in the background. It was beautiful and judging by the small crinkles Steve must’ve had this for quite a while. How long though? Was this always there? This was the only thing in his wallet. No money, ID, any forms of identification. It was sweet? Maybe? It was a picture of her and he kept it for what she assumes would be a long time. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Natasha let some thoughts scatter over her brain for a second, coming to the decision to put the photo back and return it the wallet to Steve. It must be special to him if it’s the only thing he keeps of her, she wouldn’t take that away but definitely be sure to address him about it later.</span>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0018"><h2>18. Chapter 18</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>Natasha knew deep in the back of her mind that “team meeting” was code for eating breakfast together. Tony often called for that a lot back home so it wasn’t exactly something that was new for her. A little misplaced because it kind of feels like she’s wasting time. Like what progress has she made so far? How closer is she to being home with James and her husband? Not only that but Natasha would also just not rather if she was in a room or same vicinity with Peggy right now or ever for that matter. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>It’s not childish in her mind because it’s not as if they’re fighting over a man, but she can’t handle seeing Peggy near Steve and Peggy probably couldn’t stand seeing Steve near Natasha so it was a win-win situation if neither of them were around each other. Then again, if her fellow teammates see the brunette haired woman as one of them then there’s not much Natasha could do about that other than deal with it and not cry over spilled milk. She’s learned greatly that things don’t always workout in her favor but for it to hit this close to home...Natasha’s not sure how much she can bear.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The sensory doors opened, allowing her to enter the communal area with the rest of the team already eating. That may have been so, the food looked delicious but her appetite hasn’t really been there at all since arriving here, just meals to sustain her hunger and daily nutritional value intake but nothing excess with it.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>A cool breeze hit her when she entered the room and more towards the dining area. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Red! You finally made it!” Tony exclaimed, wearing a sombrero that Natasha didn’t question because he seemed to be a little tipsy already.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Of course she came in having to find Steve next to Peggy was gut...wrenching. Natasha looked at the woman's stomach for a slightly long period of time, almost kind of piercing her eyes through it. It would have thrown Peggy off if she wasn’t engaged in a conversation with Steve. Her stomach was..flat? Correct her if she’s wrong but last time she checked she was 8 or 9 months pregnant, just about ready to have her baby. Even with having the baby already, her stomach nor her body would be able to bounce back since she last saw her. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Natasha sat down by Bruce and Wanda just so she wouldn’t go insane and take the empty seat by Steve. The blond glanced her way for a moment and swallowed hardly with a small clench of her jaw when she made her seat decision.</span>
</p><p>
  <span> “What happened to her pregnancy?” Natasha asked both of them in utter confusion. And why was Steve taking this whole ordeal lightly? Wasn’t he the father of that baby?</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Bruce wiped his mouth with a napkin? “Pregnancy? Who?” Bruce looked in the direction Natasha had pointed a nod towards and quietly whispered back in return. “Peggy? Nat she was never pregnant, what are you talking about?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Natasha restrained herself from gawking. Never pregnant? Tell that to the hundreds of times Peggy used to rub her previously swole belly or the numerous times Steve would place a hand over. Thankfully, Natasha wouldn’t have to witness that anymore but still? What happened? “Okay wait, so last night and all the days before that? There’s been no baby bump, no hormonal--whatevers. Just a flat, regular stomach?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Bruce nodded as if the answer was the obvious observation in the world, patting her back a bit seeing as she was still in disbelief. “You alright there?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Natasha sighed, leaning back in her chair. “I’m losing my mind,” She said lowly to herself, or maybe she’s lost it already but this just isn't making any sense. She can’t even bring it to Dr.Cho because she’d probably think Natasha was going insane as well, but she knows for a fact when she arrived her Peggy was pregnant.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Wanda noticed Natasha’s behavior and overheard the question and moved to say something about it even if she was hesitant about telling her to it at the table. Her words had been cut off before she even opened her mouth, causing Wanda to chew the inside of her lip, it was just too much going on to tell her right here and right now.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Steve keeps sending tiny glances yet longing looks towards Natasha, sensing her presence and trying his best to ignore the sensation of wanting to speak to her but he’ll admit it was very hard. Whenever he tries to open his mouth and talk to her Bucky or Sam start bickering, Tony laughs obnoxiously or Bruce strikes her attention instead. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Peggy witnesses what’s going on between her husband and the woman across the table. What, did either of them think she was blind? There was a hickey on his neck that was gradually fading away yet still noticeable. She can see him lick his lips when he looks at her and his fist clench tight on his pants whenever his opportunity to get her attention gets shot down. Peggy placed her hand atop of the one that had been clenching his pants. “I want you with me tonight, is that clear?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Steve turns to her in an almost disoriented way, his eyebrows furrowing a little but then feels Peggy rub her finger along the ring on his hand and drops the bewildered look, nodding his head and kissing the top of her hand. “Of course.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Natasha witnesses the action and wants to feel betrayed but she’s still not even positive about what the hell was happening now that Margaret is just magically a sudden virgin mary and not pregnant anymore. That one little romantic gesture sickens her and depletes her appetite that hadn’t even been existent. What was he hoping to gain by shutting down any intimate moment they share together?</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Her eyes make quick contact with Steve’s.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“</span>
  <em>
    <span>And if we were to have a baby..what would his name be again?”</span>
  </em>
  <em>
    <span>
      <br/>
    </span>
  </em>
  <em>
    <span>Natasha rolled her eyes, in both playful and slight offense to the question, even if he hadn’t meant for it to be offensive. “You know how that question makes me feel.” Her fingers lightly pinched at her shoulders and focused on that instead. “You keep sounding hopeful but zero condoms later and I’m still not pregnant.” Her mood was visibly saddened.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Steve wasn’t kicking himself just yet for mentioning such a sensitive topic. “There's an alternative nowadays right? I read up on a lot of that stuff. The possibilities are freakishly endless.”</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Natasha lightly laughed. “I think they’re pretty limited actually.” Steve hummed in response, glad that he at least was able to make her laugh and moved beside her. “Even so, I don’t think we’re ready to be parents anyways.”</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“No? Not even with me being almost a hundred?”</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Natasha shrugged. “I’d feel he or she would mean a lot more to me if it was a natural pregnancy.”</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“Woah..give the kid a chance, I mean, they’re not even born yet-”</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“Yeah but you know what I mean..Personally if I’m being honest with you one of the reasons I didn’t want this-” She motioned between her and Steve. “To happen was because we have very different ideas of what the future would be like.”</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Steve decided to play along with her doubt because he knew she was wrong. In fact, he has a strong belief that they want the exact same thing. Or be able to make very strong compromises. “You want to keep fighting crime to re-pay your personal debts to the world.”</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“You want a white fence, a dog or two. An old fashioned wife with 3 kids.”</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“You never plan on retiring and believe one day you’ll lose your life for a noble reason.” Steve curled a hand over her waist, smoothly pulling her on top of him.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>She knows what he’s doing, it’s so like him and she can’t believe she’s actually going along with it. “You plan on retiring probably whenever the Mrs asks you to.”</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“That catsuit will go down in history books.”</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“You’re definitely donating your shield to an orphanage.” </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>They shared a smile as Natasha leaned down the rest of the way to press her lips against his. Whenever she finds herself becoming insecure about childbirth Steve somehow manages to pull her out of these slumps in the most childish yet caring way. She’s starting to think it’s exactly what she needs or perhaps he just understands her that well.</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Natasha blinked her eyes a couple times, coming out of her daydream that reappeared in her head. She hopes it was a daydream. Her eyes remembered being locked on Steve’s when it happened and Steve himself looked at her as well, not necessarily squinting his eyes but trying to figure out why that memory came into his mind. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Natasha wouldn’t even call that a memory on her end but she doesn’t remember that ever happening. Not to her at least, she would be able to pull a conversation she and Steve once had and she’s sure as hell the scene that just played over in her head was never one of them. Unless...Natasha exhaled deeply but surely, hoping it was a good sign. Unless the memory she just had belonged to her counterbeing.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The side-eyeing by Wanda went rarely unnoticed by Natasha but she was too wrapped up in her own thoughts right now to see. Wanda fiddling with the table cloth and looking at the red haired woman apologetically, even if she wasn’t paying attention.</span>
</p><hr/><p>
  <span>Natasha looked down at the little boy who was watching a t.v on stark-pad. He was laying across her lap, obviously making himself beyond comfortable because he’s switched his position on her lap like 15 times now. His calm and happy demeanor, followed by his array of giggles forced Natasha to surpass letting out an annoyed breath of air.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>She brought her attention back to the rest of the people sitting around the room, still taking their stories and words with an ounce of salt. “So, you all expect me to believe all that? That we’ve been through that much together?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Tony took a seat on the arm of a recliner chair. “Hey we’re not just teammates after all sweetheart. You treat Wanda like your little sister, Sam and Bucky like your gay uncles, Bruce as your teacher and me as your husband if this thing between you and Cap over here don’t work out.”  The room filled with groans, Tony looked around sarcastically. “Am I wrong?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Remind us to let Pepper know that,” Steve cut it, well beyond use to his jokes and teases. “Point is Nat, everything they’re saying is true.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“But how can I be sure of that, you’re still treating me like I have amnesia, this isn’t my world Rogers. You keep telling me all these memories in hopes of me remembering one but it’s not working.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“If you’re having visions about past events we’ve experienced together in the </span>
  <em>
    <span>past</span>
  </em>
  <span> then of course I’d want to bring up more memories. I’m not trying to behave like you have amnesia. I'm trying to make things as close to normal as possible, this never happened before. I’m just trying to get it right, Nat.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Everyone could sense the growing tension and aggravation that was being emitted in the room. There hasn’t been a lot of times where Steve and Natasha showcased any of their marital disputes, not in front of everyone at least. However, hearing them argue in front of everyone..It felt like they were watching their parents go through a divorce, thankfully James was too preoccupied and too young to even really pay attention or detect the small hints of annoyance in his parent’s voice.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>They doubt the two are really mad at each other but just a little aggravated with everything right about now. However it kind of feels like Natasha actually is angry at Steve. It felt like that when the accident happened, her hostility has lessened over the course of days she’s been here but oftentimes she had looked at him like she hated him, nowadays it’s like she doesn’t know how to feel about him. One minute it’s love, the next it’s like she’s mentally slapping herself for looking at him in that kind of light.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Wanda’s no alternate universe expert if she was she would’ve switched this around in a heartbeat and she has been trying to think of a way to make this all stop. But she wonders what this Natasha has endured. She was a lot more doubtful and more closed off. Even when Wanda had first been introduced to the team she received a more welcoming and open vibe from the red-haired woman, but her alternate-self, it was as if she was a scared wounded animal, cautious of the people around her even if they see her as nothing more than family.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You don’t have any fond moments in your world with any of us?” Bucky asked hesitantly, his eyes widening a bit and feeling a cold shiver go down his back when Natasha’s attention was on him. He hasn’t don’t much or anything really to make conversation with her and this is why. He’s fearful she might pounce out of her seat and try to shoot him again. He’s done a great job of pretending to be invisible whenever she was near.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“No,” Natasha replied bluntly to him. “No I don’t. You’re wanted in my world, the only found memory I have of you is shooting me.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Steve couldn’t help but wonder if an alternate universe meant most of the events are the same or if it’s been experienced just with different outcomes. Because some of the moments Natasha brings up have happened before in this world, he also figured alternate universes meant character traits were different, not the person entirely. “I think that’s enough for one day.” They obviously weren’t getting to where they hoped to be.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You think,” She mumbled, lifting James up and courteously setting him onto Steve's lap as Natasha exited the area, clearly having enough of being treated like a hospital case.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What am I supposed to do?” Steve asked impatiently, “Whenever I try to help it’s like her appreciation is short-lived because nothing ever really works.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’d hate to say it but that's my friend. Consider buying her a Porsche that always works for Pep.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Steve rolled his eyes. “Tony, I’m being serious.” Steve thought over the idea for a sturdy moment before shaking his head out of clear knowledge that they wouldn’t work.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Wanda knows this is her fault despite Steve’s comfort and telling her that it wasn’t and that accidents happen. If she had only been in control of her abilities maybe they wouldn’t be in this position. “What if there was a way to reverse it?” She thought aloud, capturing their attention.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Reverse it? Reverse it how, we’re not even sure what source of energy you used.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I know that- but if spasmodic energy switched their minds in the first place..Who’s to say it can’t happen again?”</span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>Steve was a little on edge over the thought of having his wife experience passing out again or being put into another trance. The effects were probably forgiving this time but what if it’s more critical next time around? Still, he can’t handle the idea of this being the new normal for an extended period of time, his wife should be back by now. “I’m not saying not to the idea..but let’s think it over. You get in contact with Strange and let me know how he feels about it.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Wanda nodded, leaving to go attend to the task, meanwhile Steve looked at his son who had opened a drawing app and was using his finger as a stylus to draw both his mom and dad, standing in front of a little stick figure. He’d at least try to keep things as normal as possible for him, if only he could read minds, he’d be able to figure out what was going on inside of this kid’s mind, he’s so bubbly and happy even in times of distress like now.</span>
</p><p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>3-4 more chapters left!</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0019"><h2>19. Chapter 19</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>Steve may not have had the answers to be able to fully grasp what was going on. Believe it or not he was still pretty much in shock. It’d be easier to deal with had it been anyone else but when it actually happens to someone near to him, his own wife at that, it was a strain to fully wrap his head around the idea that the woman he loves is still the woman he loves but..just..not in the way that he’s used to.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>She’s mentioned that he’s with Peggy in her world, he has no idea that works if Peggy’s in the past. She’s meant to be in the past, she’s supposed to be in his past in all of these worlds, that’s it, nothing more, nothing less. Since waking up from the ice and creating this bond with Natasha, t-this intimate relationship-, making her his wife! There hasn’t been a day that’s gone by where he’d ever wish he was married to another woman, especially since then having a child. This kid that was a combination of the two of them. If Steve could get that through his head why couldn’t the other Steve see that as well?! What would ever provoke him to give commitment to his past love and leave Natasha behind?</span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>If he could find a way to talk to the other version of himself he’s not sure if he’d be angry or sympathetic, their life, nor were any of the decisions they’ve made had been simple. So was marrying Peggy really his choice? Or did he feel like it was the right thing to do? </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Steve had to take a deep breath, Christ. The more he thinks about it, ironically, the more he can’t see himself being married to Peggy. They’ve kissed once. She shot at him a few times..so has Natasha but on separate occasions with different reasonings. But his point is, Steve can’t see himself </span>
  <em>
    <span>actually</span>
  </em>
  <span> in love back then. He didn’t experience the true meaning of love until he became partners with Natasha way back in 2014. It’s been history since she kissed him on the cheek in the graveyard, he hasn’t fallen out of love, nor has he even given it a thought.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Daddy’s gonna put you down now ok?” Steve told his son who nodded and mumbled a small “Ok”, he never really liked when he wasn’t being carried by his mom or dad nowadays. He kissed the top of his son’s head, Steve took extra precaution in setting him down on the floor gingerly, he wanders off and sometimes it’s to his own room, other times he’s exploring the other rooms, every dangerous or potentially dangerous item being out of his view. Tension was seriously starting to make itself known between Steve and Natasha as if it hadn’t already before. It’s not the sexual kind of tension, not the communication tension..just irritation. They’re both equally trying to find ways to solve this issue and become frustrated when an idea doesn’t work out how they planned. It puts a strain on the “create intimacy” mission because right now it was hard to be near each other. Natasha walked by Steve and he didn’t even notice until her red hair was made noticeable. It was a tiny bit annoying to him, he didn’t necessarily do anything wrong other than trying to help both of them really, she’s not used to this life and right now neither is Steve because he’s not used to his wife in this particular way.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>It’s more quiet now, through the quietness it feels like there’s a low ringing deep in his ears. Even when things were quiet between him and Natasha back when life was just a little bit more normal, it was more of a comfortable silence, not this thick strenuous filled air</span>
</p><p>
  <span> Steve stretched his arms amongst the counter, it felt like there’s nothing he can do these days that’ll make this recurring headache cease. Was this what Natasha was going through most of these days? Or in some ways he felt like her headaches weren’t exactly painful, but just aggravating to have. It wasn’t pain, it was confusion over why this had been happening.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He took a deep breath after trying to initiate eye contact with Natasha, a failed attempt at that. He makes a silent promise to himself that when this is done he’d never get into another useless argument with his wife ever again. There’s never been a silent treatment this extensive between them. “Want to talk about anything? Maybe about what’s on your mind?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>There wasn’t any response once again, Steve wants to be able to understand the frustration on her part but she’s making it pretty hard when she won’t communicate with him. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Nat, don’t make this harder than it needs to be.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Hard for who? Me or you?” Was he the one that got replaced? If it’s hard for him to adapt imagine how hard it is for her. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m talking about speaking to one another. If we could communicate a plan-“</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What </span>
  <em>
    <span>plan</span>
  </em>
  <span>, Steve?” Natasha questioned, allowing some steam to be released. “Do you have a plan? Are you a professional about what’s been going on?” Yeah, she didn’t think so, so of course it’d be just a tiny bit annoying to hear this.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Steve ignored the verbal blow fairly well, instead going over to the fridge and pulling out a beer, an extremely needed beer. “I mentioned bringing you to the house.” They haven’t been there at all since the incident happened but the more he considers it the more he realizes they probably should’ve made a stop there sooner. There’s a lot of moments that went down in that house. “Might be a little therapeutic for you.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Apparently everything you say and do, everywhere I go, is for therapeutic reasons how’s this any different?” Her question was rhetorical, Steve wasn’t buying into it or her attitude for the matter.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You don’t have to say yes Nat, I’m just trying to do what’s best for you.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You’re trying to do what you think is best for me, Steve. I don’t need guesses, I need correct answers, I don’t belong here and especially not with you.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Why are you so upset?” He asked softly, hoping that if he changed his tone, she’d change hers. The last thing he needed right now was James coming and strolling in on them having a pretty roused conversation.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m upset because I'm here when I don’t want to be, don’t </span>
  <em>
    <span>need</span>
  </em>
  <span> to be. Do you get that?” She asked, that last part sounding a little condescending on her end and she had full intentions on it sounding that way.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>That time Steve really did roll her eyes because he’s not trying to create another disagreement between them but when she talks like that and uses that little voice it’s very hard to stabilize and not showcase his own emotions, which is what he’s starting to believe she actually wants to happen. “I get it. You want to be with Bruce, you want to live in a world where you go back to ignoring me and not having the responsibility of being both a mother and a wife.”</span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>Natasha doesn’t know if Steve’s aware that his words hit a sore spot in her heart but her eyes made it pretty well known that he just figured it out. “Do you think it’s easy bearing the knowledge that I don’t nor that I can have a child back in my world Rogers? Or do you always hit below the belt?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I wasn’t trying to be offensive, I was just stating a mere fact.” His words were quickly becoming careless but if she was going to be careless about the entire situation then why should he be expected to maintain his maturity throughout it as well?</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“That mere fact comes with pretty big consequences so maybe it’s best if you don’t speak of it.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Steve perked up a sarcastic eyebrow for a second. “So now you’re the one stating what’s best for things, about the life I’ve been living normally since forever.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Has it been normal for you?” She knew his past and he knew hers, nothing about either of what they’ve been through could ever be described as normal. “Being frozen for about a thousand years and that’s not even the worst of it so is that really normal.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It felt normal because I have you, or at least I had you, I don’t really know who you are right now or what you become if you’re even still my wife.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Natasha’s eyebrow twitched in annoyance, it’s like attempting to hold a conversation with the Steve back in her universe, if she’d ever have one with him that is, but if she were to, she had a feeling it’d end up exactly like this. “I keep telling you I’m not but you keep acting like it.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Because I love you Nat!” Hasn’t he made it pretty clear, even with the duration she’s been here that he’s willing to walk to the ends of the earth for her? That he doesn’t care about her past and believes that’s what makes him love her even more. “But you won’t let me love you. You shut it down because you still believe you’re living in your other world where you think hating me is okay.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“And is it wrong? Do I have to remind you what you put me through? How alone I felt without you?” The nights she stayed up thinking about him then having to ignore him throughout the day. They walk past each other like it’s nothing. “To know what it’s like knowing you chose Peggy?” Would anyone believe her if she said this man had the nerve to invite her to the wedding?</span>
</p><p>
  <span>That still sounds a far fetched in his mind, so much to the point where he likes to believe it actually never happened, he and Peggy aren’t together. “And if you’re so eager to jump back into that world why don’t you quit this attitude and start acting like you want to leave because shutting down everyone’s idea isn’t the way to go. I just want my wife back.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Then I’m sorry, Steve. I’m at a complete loss on what to do. I want her back too, it must be hell for her having to deal with you everyday, I’m sure she’s having a great time knowing she’s away from you if this is how your marriage is.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Steve heard his heartbeat, suddenly the beer he had been drinking tasted a lot more bitter. Not even bitter, just sour, it was hard for him to swallow the last gulp he had just drank. He’s close to voicing his anger and how he’s had just about enough of her and the situation they’re in.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Instead of letting that happen though. He reminds himself that she’s still his wife despite what might be happening right now and that he just needs to let this go, because had this been the Natasha he’s used to, the conversation would’ve started and ended in an entirely different way. Having that in mind, he can’t kiss her right now to cool off, he can’t lead them both to the bedroom so he walks away from it. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Placing his half finished beer down on the counter and walking out the door with his coat in his hands, saying a barely audible. “I’ll be back.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>It made her question his chosen tone and blunt exit but it’s nothing that she didn’t expect to happen, maybe it’s best if it did.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Natasha heard tiny footsteps coming her way, sensing them before they reached her and was presented with a little boy in front of her, holding up one of his teddy bears to her. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Play time mommy?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Natasha took a deep breath, she too had to cool herself off and as much as it’s hard for her to admit but calming down with this little kid was probably her best option right about now. “Come on,” She said as she picked, James becoming indefinitely happy with her decision of carrying him and went about on his high horse.</span>
</p><p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0020"><h2>20. Chapter 20</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>“Daddy come home mama?” James asked as he tiredly rubbed his eyes, his mom bringing him back to his room.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Natasha was surprised she was able to even maintain being around him this long without slowly losing her mind but oddly enough she’s not hearing that little voice saying “mommy” in the back of her head anymore, it wasn’t faint nor was it distant it had just been nonexistent at this point. Or for the time being rather she wasn’t sure if this was an on again, off again type of thing but she was just glad it wasn’t here currently. Steve wasn’t here either.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m not sure where he is,” Natasha spoke softly, something about this kid, whether knowing he’s gotten used to her being his mom or what but there’s something about him where she finds herself needing to use a softer tone with him no matter how annoyed she is. Natasha can’t find it in herself to express that annoyance towards James in any way, shape or form. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Natasha could feel the little boy going limp in her arms. She spent the rest of the day with him, having to watch him after Steve said he’ll be back after he stormed out. It left her time to think and access the situation she finds herself getting in, this entire mess, she didn’t ask for it and neither did Steve. She’s sure as hell the other Natasha didn’t ask for it either, no one should have to bear seeing the one you love with another..She guess she should be grateful to have a break from Mr. and Mrs. perfect married couple back in her own world but this one still feels artificial on it’s own.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Then again there’s always this regretful feeling, this feeling of not belonging. Natasha was used to Steve’s love before but trying to handle it again after all they’ve been through was what was really killing her on the inside. She doesn’t need further examination to know that this life was exactly how she imagined what her world would be like if she and Steve were to get married but it’s just not her place to come and impede on it. It was a lot better than ignoring him as they walked down hallways or pretending like he didn’t exist; the things she’d usually do back home...but this wasn’t her home so if she’s beginning to do all these actions again she’d only find herself back where she started.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>And it’s also possible that she’s hurting their marriage as well, another thing she doesn’t want to happen. Steve’s happy with her, he has a family and he’s made it clear how much he meant to them and she’s pushing that away, hurting him emotionally.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Shh,” Natasha quietly hushed him when she heard him whimper half-awake as she laid him down. James had quite the grip on her but she managed to break loose from his arms without waking him up or putting too much pressure on his wrists to release the grip. Natasha brung his covers up to his body and made an out of body decision yet again to gently kiss the top of his forehead, watching his peaceful sleeping expression as he drifted off further and further into his slumber.</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“You keep staring at him,” Steve noticed as their son slept upon Steve’s chest but Natasha had her hand on the baby’s back, mesmerized by his tranquility. “It’s almost starting to make me a little jealous,” he teased, smiling when she rolled her eyes, placing her head on his shoulder.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“It still doesn’t feel real..” She gave birth to a baby..Naturally. No surrogates, no mutations. James was healthy, an ordinary pregnancy. Natasha feels her eyes water a bit whenever she thinks about it. Finally having a son she could call her own.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>After what feels like she’s lost everything, from family and some friends, it all felt compensated for when the doctors laid James on her chest for the first time, allowing her to know she just managed to pull off one of the hardest yet beautiful moments a woman can ever endure.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“And you had your doubts, understandably,” Steve sighed gently. “For what it’s worth he’s really not a noisy baby.” He’s been home from the hospital for 4 months now and has only cried around 7 or 8 times. Steve looked at his wife whose head was still resting on his shoulder, directing her attention to James. “You know I’m proud of you right?”</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“Thanks dad,” she said in a wholeheartedly sarcastic way. “You’ve only told me every other day.” And she loves him for that. She always knew he’d be present and motivational towards them now being new parents, but he takes it to a whole other level of dedication. “And you did mention something about wanting more kids in the future.”</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“Are we in the future right now?” He smirked.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Now that she knows she’s capable of having a baby it brought peace and closure to her mind. “It can if you want it to be.”</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Steve recognized the look in her eye and slowly got up with James still pressed against his chest. “We’re gonna take a trip to your room tonight bud,” Steve said hushedly to his son to set him down in his crib. Eager to make it back to the master bedroom. He knew that the chances of her getting pregnant again so soon were pretty low, and he’s sure Natasha knew that as well but..it has been quite awhile so.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>She sighs as the vision passes through her mind, it makes her feel warm inside, a foreign sensation of comfort it brings to see James that small and that close to his parents. There was a shift at the door that Natasha had finally taken notice of. The highest probability was Steve being there, and it was. Just leaning against the door in that same fatherly figure that she expected. Natasha stood up from sitting beside the little boy’s bed, wanting to say the first words to him until Steve beat her to it. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m sorry,” He apologized.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Natasha raised a brow out of genuine confusion and curiosity over what he was apologizing for. She knows that things got a little drastic prior to when he left but it wasn’t exactly his fault. “For what?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Steve could tell just by her tone that there hadn’t been an inch of sarcasm or mocking behind her voice. He glanced at his jacket in his hands, shifting it around a bit. “For being out later than expected, I didn’t mean to leave you alone with him for that long.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Natasha shrugged, there’s not much she can say or do but she can feel a different page between them which was exactly what she was afraid of. It made her fearful to the point where seeing Steve step away from the doorframe and walk off put this weird feeling deep inside her stomach, an instinct where she knew something was wrong and it was downright killing her. He apologized for leaving but that was it? Was the man that wanted to help suddenly broken? Was their last conversation really his breaking point? Natasha didn't think it was that bad, then again she also wasn’t in his shoes, so she wouldn’t understand what it’s like for his point of view.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>She waits for a minute of two before following behind, tracing his path to the bedroom where she found him taking his clothes off. Not naked, but preparing to take a shower it looked like. Steve acknowledged her presence by saying quiet and barely audible, “Excuse me.” As he had to move past her to reach something.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Natasha folded her arms, watching as he walked from side to side of the bedroom, either taking off his clothes or picking something else out to put on. “Where’d you go?” Natasha spoke, trying to ease off this annoying and jealous feeling that was creeping up on her.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What’s that?” Steve asked, unable to hear what she had just said.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I said, where’d you go?” She spoke a little louder for him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Oh um, I had to make a stop somewhere,” Steve answered.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>His answer was still a little too vague for her liking and based on past experiences of him finding attraction elsewhere it built her anxiousness up even more. “Make a stop? Are you a bus driver all of a sudden, what stops do you need to make?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Steve laughed at her comparison and a little bit at her suspicions because she still doesn’t grasp that there’s no need to be suspicious because wasn’t out with anyone else. “I went to our house. Our home, I should say, looked through a couple photo albums and tried to gather some memories of my own. After my wife is happy being in another dimension and all, away from me.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Natasha eased her bitterness away and came back to the important part on hand. “I’m sorry I said that,” She managed to say. “The heat of the moment got to me and-”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“And you used your words as a way to protect what you were feeling, I get it.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“No, that’s not why.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Then what was it?” Steve asked as he turned to her, waiting for her to say something but it seemed like she couldn’t get the right words out. He’s been in that position before, a bunch of times, whenever they end up getting into these kinds of arguments. He knows what it’s like to not want to not be able to voice his feelings into exact words without coming off as insecure or defensive. Steve sighed as he leaned in and kissed her cheek. “We’ll talk.” He told her, moving around to enter the bathroom. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>They can talk but even then Natasha isn’t sure of what she might say when he reappears, or if she even should say anything else because she feels they’re at their best when there’s this peaceful silence between them. Let this be a reminder for her when she’s ready to walk down the aisle back in her world.</span>
</p><hr/><p>Steve put his mug in the sink, lingering around a little bit and watching Natasha continue her conversation with Wanda that seemed to be finishing up. Steve kept pushing himself to go over and make way into the talk but that might come off as a little intrusive or odd especially since their encounter earlier this morning, he hadn’t none things would go that far and he did enjoy himself until this weird tingling sensation hit his ring finger and suddenly he found himself getting up and leaving the bed.</p><p>
  <span>Their conversation came off as sympathetic, or as much as Steve can tell. He can overhear Wanda apologizing as she feels she’s responsible for this, he can also hear Natasha shrugging the apology off her shoulders, reassuring her continuously that none of this is her fault and she’d find her way back eventually. Steve was supposed to go somewhere with Peggy but he made the conscious decision to stay back and try and get a word in with Natasha no matter how awkward it would be. He just needs to speak with her because he’s starting to get some evocative feelings again when she’s near and it’s ripping his brain apart.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Natasha gave one last reassuring rub that landed on Wanda’s shoulder, letting her know that she’s okay and to not beat herself up over what’s been going on.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>His heart began to race when he’s finally presented with the opportunity to get a word in with her. They’re alone, finally. He’s not sure why he’s so happy over this peace of them being in this secure space but it is very calming. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What are you doing to me?” Steve spoke aloud, gathering Natasha’s attention indirectly. She only realized he was speaking to her because she was the only other person left besides him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What am I doing to you? Want to elaborate?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Steve’s jaw clenched for a moment coming onto his next words. “Did Wanda put some kind of spell on you?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“A spell?” Natasha asked with a little bit of an offended tone.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Nat..I </span>
  <em>
    <span>feel</span>
  </em>
  <span> things when I’m around you,” he bit out. Not in annoyance but in pure emphasis. “Things that I shouldn’t.” He didn’t push her away this morning, he was eager and made the decision to continue on from a simple blowjob to actual sex. “I know I have a past with you but..what are you doing?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Natasha couldn’t help but let out a laugh. What is she doing? “Steve, what are you doing? I’m just trying to get back home but you? You are having internal conflicts of your own.” She didn’t have anything to do with his feelings that had always been there. “In fact I think you’re trying to choose who you want?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Who I want?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Mhm,” she stated easily. “Me, your wife. Or Peggy..your wife again.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Steve hadn’t had any response to her and maybe that’s a good thing as he saw the figure of Peggy make it’s way from around the hall and into the area they were in. His eyes meet with hers. Steve felt both women’s gazes on him, not relenting. Natasha’s was more smug while Peggy’s was more stoic and awaiting.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Steven,” she called out to him. “A word, darling.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Good luck,” Natasha told him, pulling away from his side and stealthily slipping his ring off. When she left she hadn’t completely gone out the room. She wants to hear of there’s any difference to his character when he’s wearing his ring and when he’s not.</span>
</p><p> </p>
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